Birth control/ breast implants

[kellicouch77]

Those are two things that don’t normally go together, I suppose, but in this instance they are connected.

I have a friend who is Catholic. She sends her children to CCE, she attends mass, and takes communion. Her husband is in the K of C. However, I know that she does not believe that confession is an important aspect of the faith, and therefore never goes.

Recently, she decided she needed new breasts, so she financed a new pair. Then she decided that becoming pregnant again would seriously flaw her new appearance, so she decided to get on the “shot” (Depo provera) and she is going in for an IUD in two weeks. The reason for getting on the birth control is not for health reasons, rather selfish reasons- she does not want to deal with the possibility of having more children to alter her new appearance.

Now, my problem with this is simple. As a Catholic, do I have a responsibility to let her know that she is wrong for choosing birth control for that purpose, not for health reasons? What about the fact that she doesn’t believe in going to confession, and she takes communion every Sunday.

I do realize the bible says, he who has no sin should cast the first stone. I don’t want to single her out and embarass her. I don’t want to hurt her feelings in any way, but I also understand that we are all protectors of the faith, and we should stand up when we see something wrong.

Any guidance I could get on this issue would be helpful.

 

[blessedtoo]

I will assume that your friend has confided this very personal information to you directly and that you didn’t hear it through someone else.

I would wait and pray for the opportunity to come around again and when she speaks of using ABC, simply state Church teaching on the issue. I would make a point of letting her know that it is a mortal sin and that, as Catholics, forgiveness of mortal sin is attained through the Sacrament of Confession. I would then remind her that receiving the Eucharist in a state of mortal sin is a sacrilege.

I have found that offering fraternal correction only works if the timing is right and the context is appropriate. I would not just offer this counsel out of the blue but rather, I would wait until she brings this issue up and seize the opportunity to correct her obvious misunderstanding.

While it may be repugnant, getting breast implants are not a sin, nor do they have any relevance to the issue. There is no acceptable reason for using ABC to avoid children.

 

[RichT]

I agree with blessedtoo on the timing issue. Just keep in mind that we are called to watch out for our brothers and sisters in Christ. We can also sin by not acting.

 

[Joycelyn6]

You know your friend better, if the suggestions given are more likely to cause an eruption and further alienate her from the Church (as she has obviously parted was in the teachings) then you might have to “pitch” it from a different angle. Like NFP methods (I use the Billings Ovulation Method - you can search for it online) is just as effective as birth control, doesn’t cost anything, is easier to start and stop, no side effects…etc. Pitch the practical benefits over the moral benefits, eventhough that is our obvious end goal.

It does sound like she has some selfishness issues to work through and I don’t have any advice on that, the old “bringing a horse to water, but ya can’t make 'em drink”. If she can’t see that some of her attitudes toward things are selfish, I don’t know how you can make her see it.

As regarding confession maybe just sharing some of your positive experiences of confession, and I hate to say this, but maybe use the kids as leverage? I mean how many Catholics do we know who only registered at the parish when they wanted to get their kids baptized? It’s a pathetically frail foundation for your friend’s faith, but if I’ve learned anything as a parent it’s that kids have a way of making you a better person because you now need to lead by example. Explain the importance of your friend as her kids’ primary teacher of not just scholastics, and manners, but the faith as well. As a PSR teacher I can never stress enough that the 1 1/2 hrs. a wk. I spend with them doesn’t do a thing if it’s not being reinforced at home. Your friend has to know it, embrace it, and live it or else I fear she has just given birth to another generation of Cultural Catholics.

Good luck and God Bless!
Joyce

 

[Andruschak]

Now, my problem with this is simple. As a Catholic, do I have a responsibility to let her know that she is wrong for choosing birth control for that purpose, not for health reasons? What about the fact that she doesn’t believe in going to confession, and she takes communion every Sunday.
.

If she had any kind of Catholic upbringing, wouldn’t she already know all that?

Opinion: rather then seem to be telling her what to do, you might, when in conversation, simply share what you do. Just casually remind her that you go to frequent confession, do not use birth control, and thus are worthy to receive communion?

 

[PhilotheaZ]

She may interpret your silence on the matter as your approval. If you have concern for her soul, you need to speak to her (privately and charitably, of course).

I would not necessarily wait “for the opportunity to come around again,” especially if you do not see this person frequently. I have made the mistake of waiting, and then it was too late. Do pray to the Holy Spirit, however, to open up an opportunity for you and to give you the right words.

 

[tessi]

What about the fact that she doesn’t believe in going to confession, and she takes communion every Sunday.

I think that is very serious. She is in mortal sin, she shouldn’t receive Communion. You should warn her.

 

[bpbasilphx]

The reason for getting on the birth control is not for health reasons, rather selfish reasons- she does not want to deal with the possibility of having more children to alter her new appearance.

**A car wreck or breast cancer or other serious mishap would alter ner new appearance, too.

Is she not worried about these?**