Birth control by 1 spouse?

  • Thread starter Thread starter phantom
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
P

phantom

Guest
How bad is it for someone to be using artificial birth control and denying it to their spouse? If a spouse suspects the other is using artificial birth control but can’t prove it, what should he do? How far does someone need to go to put his suspicions to rest? Purely hypothetical of course.
 
Phantom, I find your question puzzling.

What reason could anyone have, if they wish to contracept, for not permitting their spouse to do so as well?
 
Reepicheep said:
Phantom, I find your question puzzling.

What reason could anyone have, if they wish to contracept, for not permitting their spouse to do so as well?
Click to expand...
She is using artificial birth control and denying to her spouse that she is using it. Is that more clear?
 
phantom said:
How bad is it for someone to be using artificial birth control and denying it to their spouse? If a spouse suspects the other is using artificial birth control but can’t prove it, what should he do? How far does someone need to go to put his suspicions to rest? Purely hypothetical of course.
Click to expand...
Phantom:
I’m glad to hear it’s hypothetical, because a person in this situation is in a bad one indeed. If the husband doesn’t trust his wife then they have a very bad marriage. And if he’s right and she really is trying to deceive him then shame on her as well. I think if the guy is just paranoid he should pray about it and ask forgiveness for distrusting her. If she is deceiving him she had better fess up and fast. Most guys would see deception on this level as equal to adultery. A couple like this needs counseling to avoid a life of bitterness.

Ever heard the phrase “trust is the cornerstone of a good marriage”? Well this hypothetical marriage is going to crumble quickly once its missing its cornerstone.
 
Well, the fact is with all the elaborate forms of artificial control and the security requirements of doctors and medical professionals, there is no way of knowing whether your spouse is on artificial birth control or not. Throw in natural family planning and you have no idea what is going on. Whether the nfp is working or whether some other method is being used behind one’s back. Trust? Trust is a fragile thing and I guess all one can do is hope that your trust is well placed, even when the laws of logic suggest otherwise. You can’t break up a family over unprovable suspicions, right?.
 
Don’t automatically blame the woman. I’ve only known one woman who ever did this. In her case, it was self-defense as her perv of a husband was using pregnancy as a tool to try to control her.

I’ll definitely echo what other people are saying. This marriage would be in grave trouble. There are trust issues, possibly on both sides. If she is using ABC behind his back, then she doesn’t trust him enough to tell him she’s using it, and if he objects to come up with him with a method of prevention, which she obviously desires; if she’s not using it, he doesn’t trust her.

If the issue is he wants kids and she doesn’t that opens up a whole 'nother matter in the marriage too.
 
The whole thing that disturbs me is if the person is going to willfully break a rule in her faith, how can this guy do anything to help this situation but pray and carry his cross?

I mean he does not have a lot of options here. If she is a Catholic, she is in serious need of spiritual direction but how can he force her to get it?

All he can do is pray and carry that heavy cross.

This is a sad situation. In a marriage the two become one. If one does something that hurts the other, both are hurting. Lets be compassionate for the person who does not see it that way, but more so for this guy carrying this cross.
 
That’s grounds for an automatic annulment, but check with a priest first to be sure.
 
kbenoit said:
That’s grounds for an automatic annulment, but check with a priest first to be sure.
Click to expand...
Not totally true. Use of ABC is a sin, but she may not have entered her marriage invalidly. She may fully have been open to life from the beginning.

An annulment looks at what circumstances were going on at the time of the sacrament. If a valid sacrament took place, then you can’t do something later to nullify it.
 
Please tell me what a lady is to do after faithfully giving birth to half a dozen children and is forced by neccessity to enter the workforce to help her husband support the family. Can she have a tubal ligation? There may not be the resources for another child. Perhaps she is afraid to trust the NFP system in case it fails her. Perhaps her husband is a bit of a bully and wont support NFP. Perhaps she feels too old to have any more children but she is still fertile. One more child could just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Is it truely a sin that she must be burdened with?:confused:
 
Thank you to all who have participated. This thread is now closed.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top