Birth Control

[DVIN_CKS]

Island Oak:

Well…, weren’t you fortunate! Neither the term nor concept of NFP were ever brought up to us during our marriage preparation. Once we both stated we were “open to having children,” the discussion ended–without any guidance, discussion or formation in how many children, if and/or how to space them, managing fertility, medical complications, the dual purposes of sexual intimacy, the reasons for practising abstinence within marriage, etc…

Ditto for my marriage prep. One married couple did get up and talk to the group about how they were using the natural method of birth control, but that was about all we heard. No real catechizing going on…sadly. I wish I knew then what I know now!!

 

[JMJ_Theresa]

DVIN CKS:

Ditto for my marriage prep. One married couple did get up and talk to the group about how they were using the natural method of birth control, but that was about all we heard. No real catechizing going on…sadly. I wish I knew then what I know now!!

Our mentor couple told us how they got a letter from their doctor and took it to three priests before they got their tubal. I figured that was the procedure for getting permission.

I even asked (in public) the vicar general how many priests’ signatures you needed to get permission for a tubal ligation!

 

[Convert97]

One comment on tossing out the charts. One of the negative effects of the pill on marriage is that it removes men from the “choice” to have children. It removes responsibility from the male and puts in all on the female. One of the benefits of NFP is that the man is always aware of the chance of pregnancy and so he takes responsibility for his actions. When you are charting and you know a woman is in her fertile phase, both husband and wife know they could be creating new life during the marriage act. This brings a bonding between parents and between the father and the child. This is one reason why practicing NFP brings a couple closer together even when they are not trying to avoid pregnancy.

 

[nova147]

Tridentine Fan hit the nail on the head . . . it is the mentality that is important. A couple using NFP can do so and be sinning if they have it in their heads that they are contracepting (or are lying to themseleves when they pretend they aren’t!). My husband and I were there when we first started with NFP. We began using NFP in Jan 03 and started RCIA in June. I was less than excited about joining the Catholic Church, but did it “for my family”. The NFP was fine with me, however, because I was sick and tired of the weight gain, bloating, and random spotting I had after 5 years on the pill. God, of course, changed my heart about the Church, and we got a little lax on charting and concieved in Jan 04, three months before Easter Vigil. (Side note: we were married before joining the Church, so no marriage prep, but our RCIA program did not discuss NFP at all . . . and the year after we were confirmed, the new leaders actually said that if you don’t use birth control “you’ll be in trouble”. What a nice sentiment. . . children are trouble!) Now our son is 18 months old and we are still waiting for another baby . . . in God’s time, I suppose. But in the time since we concieved (at which point neither of us had thought much about using NFP as contraception, but were both OK with a child), I have had lots of time to think and pray about NFP and children. It’s not easy, but we are called to give our fertility over to God, just like we are called to give Him the rest of our lives. God bless you and your family.