Birthdays

[ellen42]

Do you enjoy celebrating your birthday?

I tend to be a rather quiet reserved person and therefore don’t really care to make a big deal out of anything. Unfortunately, that seems to rub people the wrong way sometimes - and I honestly don’t get their reactions. My birthday is coming up, and I was asked what I wanted to do celebration-wise. Since I really don’t feel the need to make a big deal of it, I just said “Nothing” which is the honest truth. I’m not trying to shut people out or anything, but my idea of a good time is a quiet evening with a book, not meeting people at a bar or the like.

One of my friends started into what is best described as a guilt trip for not wanting to be as social and outgoing as she is – I think (it was a rather convoluted argument that I was barely following). It’s not that I don’t appreciate what they want to do, it’s just that they asked what I wanted to do and then got upset when I didn’t give them the “correct” answer.

Am I really the weird person here and I should cave to let other people celebrate my birthday?

 

[gmarie21]

You’re not adopted, are you? I only ask because I have been the same way regarding my birthday since being a teen (almost having to force myself to enjoy any celebrations for me). I have found that other adoptees are the same way. I am slowly learning to celebrate my birthday and not hide from it.

 

[ellen42]

You’re not adopted, are you? I only ask because I have been the same way regarding my birthday since being a teen (almost having to force myself to enjoy any celebrations for me). I have found that other adoptees are the same way. I am slowly learning to celebrate my birthday and not hide from it.

Ha! No… not adopted. One of my friends recently saw an old picture of my mother (when she was about my current age) and thought it was a picture of me printed with an Instagram filter.

I’m also not “hiding” from my birthday, I’m just not all that enthusiastic about it coupled with generally being quiet and introverted. One of my great annoyances in life is the implication that introversion is somehow broken, wrong or at least “less desirable” than being more social and I need to be fixed. I guess this touched that nerve a bit.

 

[CarolNoel]

I have never liked being the center of attention on my birthday even when I was a wee one. My big celebration on my birthday is pizza and champange with my sweet hubby.

 

[dshix]

I don’t like being the center of attention for my birthday either. I enjoy a smaller gathering with a few really good friends, but an event with 50 people where the entire point is to make me happy is NOT FUN.

 

[m_crane]

In my family, birthdays parties are for children. So unless someone reaches 80, 90, or 100 we don’t make much of a fuss. I have noticed that birthday celebrations are becoming very popular in the adult world these days. If you do not enjoy this kind of fuss, then stick to your guns about it.

I once was listening to a radio show where the host was talking about adult birthdays and said something to the effect that he found it a little much to expect that people need to make a big fuss over a person just because a he turns a year older.

Well he got onto the subject of gift giving and he said that on his birthday, instead of receiving gifts, he would be buying gifts for his loved ones. I thought this is a great way to celebrate an adult birthday. I’m always uncomfortable with having people feel like they have to go to trouble for my birthday. So this year I treated my loved ones to a nice luncheon- no fuss, no gifts, just a nice time for my husband, my mother and my children. It was such a lovely time. It felt great to give my family a nice day out together.

So I have some ideas(inspired by this talk show) about how to celebrate an adult birthday…

Send thank you notes to loved ones, especially mom.

But small gifts for loved ones.

Call loved ones and chat.

Treat loved one to a nice meal.

Go to Mass to thank God for another year.

Gosh there are loads of ways… I’ll bet you can think of tons more!

By the way- Happy Birthday!

 

[tabycat]

That is what J.R.R. Toldian have the Hobbits do.

 

[tabycat]

My birthday is coming up, and I was asked what I wanted to do celebration-wise. Since I really don’t feel the need to make a big deal of it, I just said “Nothing” which is the honest truth. I’m not trying to shut people out or anything, but my idea of a good time is a quiet evening with a book, not meeting people at a bar or the like.

I don’t know where you get your books, but if there is a bookstore that carries a line of books that you like to read and go as a small group to it, and maybe go to a cafe afterward?

 

[Iron_Donkey]

Do you enjoy celebrating your birthday?

I tend to be a rather quiet reserved person and therefore don’t really care to make a big deal out of anything. Unfortunately, that seems to rub people the wrong way sometimes - and I honestly don’t get their reactions. My birthday is coming up, and I was asked what I wanted to do celebration-wise. Since I really don’t feel the need to make a big deal of it, I just said “Nothing” which is the honest truth. I’m not trying to shut people out or anything, but my idea of a good time is a quiet evening with a book, not meeting people at a bar or the like.

One of my friends started into what is best described as a guilt trip for not wanting to be as social and outgoing as she is – I think (it was a rather convoluted argument that I was barely following). It’s not that I don’t appreciate what they want to do, it’s just that they asked what I wanted to do and then got upset when I didn’t give them the “correct” answer.

Am I really the weird person here and I should cave to let other people celebrate my birthday?

I am similar - I’m out of state for school now and most people here don’t know when my birthday is. My celebration this year was not to work on homework that night, read a book, and to get a candy bar even though it’s lent.

When my birthday happens to lineup with me being around people who like to celebrate, we usually go out for dinner at an average non-bar, non-noisy restaurant. And then I go home. And read a book. And probably get a piece of cake for desert, even though it’s usually lent.

So yeah, different people are different, and some of us don’t like to make as big a deal out of things as others. The more extroverted personality might be slightly more common, and slightly more socially preferred at the moment, but there’s nothing weird or bad about being more reserved.

If your friends want to celebrate though, they may be happier with a “go get dinner somewhere” than “nothing” answer, which might avoid the more outgoing people thinking you must really be avoiding them because no one could not want to party. (My oldest brother and I actually argue constantly about that, which I’ve never understood. I mean, clearly, there are times when I don’t want to party and so, ergo, there are people who don’t always want to party. He doesn’t get it.) But of course it is your birthday, so in the end whatever you want.

Though it is also lent, so maybe a small party would be a good penance? That would really through the extroverts off.

 

[mikeeh]

I love celebrating my birthday. I usually go out to dinner with my family and then we eat cake. I rarely go out with friends on my birthday. My sister never seems to like her birthdays. I don’t know if it’s because she hates getting older, or in her mid-30s she gets sad she hasn’t found a long term boyfriend/husband, or if she simply doesn’t like her birthday. It’s your birthday and you should do what you want. And your friends shouldn’t be making you feel bad.