Bisexual daughter

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bkrazy8

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our daughter made an announcement last year that her “roomate” was more than a roomate, she was her partner. We were shocked, as she has had boyfriends in the past, and had almost gotten engaged. We told her we would always love her, but couldn’t condone this lifestyle. She and her 7 siblings have been raised catholic. Now she has asked to come home for a visit with her partner(she lives in Mass. and we are in Pa) . We are torn, we feel that everyone shold be treated with dignity,and a christians we are called to love the sinner, hate the sin, but we really don’t want to meet this girl, and don’t want to have to explain to her younger siblings her lifestyle. Any helpful ideas? Thanks.
 
Hi,
Your family is in my prayers. I think you have the right attitude ( speaking from my own opinion here ) and your daughter is very fortunate to have parents like yourselves. I would tell her exactly what you have said in your post. That you love her, but you do not condone her relationship with a same sex partner ( just as you would not condone her cohabiting with someone of the same sex either right?)

The fact that she is bisexual gives hope that she will find a man in the near future to share her life with.

I don’t think there is anything you can do to change her lifestyle and she is an adult, but you are in your right to tell her that you do not agree with the lifestyle and for you to tell her that God does not approve, but she is loved.
 
I would not expose the younger siblings to this at all.

I recommend you get in touch with a group that can support you. I know that www.couragerc.net is for those with SSA, and I believe they have a group for parents of those with SSA-- it might be called “enCourage”. I’m not sure on that. Courage is 100% orthodox.
 
We have relatives who live with others without, as they say, the benefit of clergy. They are always welcome to visit, but our house rules are our house rules. If not a married couple, then separate sleeping accommodations. If unsuitable to the visitors, then there are nearby motels.

Stick to your house rules. It’s the loving thing to do.

Blessings,

Gerry
 
Gerry_Hunter said:
We have relatives who live with others without, as they say, the benefit of clergy. They are always welcome to visit, but our house rules are our house rules. If not a married couple, then separate sleeping accommodations. If unsuitable to the visitors, then there are nearby motels.

Stick to your house rules. It’s the loving thing to do.

Blessings,

Gerry
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Agreed!
 
what would be your response if the live-in she planned to invite to your home was a man?
 
I think your response is totally reasonable and if she sees it as anything else then she’s being unreasonable. I would say treat the situation almost the same as if she wanted to bring a boyfriend home…but of course there is the sensitive issue of explaining such things to her younger siblings…which, if they’re less than middle highschool age, would probably be best left for another day.

And of course it is YOUR house…therefore your rules, since you don’t condone that lifestyle you have every right to say she can’t bring her girlfriend home. So long as you treat your daughter with respect and show respect for her lifestyle she shouldn’t have room to make a fuss.
 
First let me express my heart felt sorrow for what you and your husband are going through.

I’ve went through things with my kids… Thank God not this one.

My middle daughter did try to bring a man to my home during a week long power outage once. I let them know in no uncertain terms… This is still my house and still my rules. No one in your room but your parents or siblings! I told them that they were not sleeping together in my house… But they were more than welcome to come and join us in our food and fire.

They didn’t come. I worried for a few days… She was fine and so were her siblings.

It can work if it is done tastefully where the siblings are not aware of the situation.
 
thanks to all who hae reponded to my post. If she was bringing a man home,it would be the same…they couldn’t stay together in the same room, no matter how old they are. My daughter is coming and staying at a hotel near by. I have told her her friend will be treated with dignity and kindness, but we still didn’t accept her lifestyle. I asked her to please restrain as much as possible from any physical shows of affection in front of her siblings, especially my youngest. I’ll let you know how it all turns out…please keep this all in your prayers…thankyou and God bless!
 
bkrazy8 said:
thanks to all who hae reponded to my post. If she was bringing a man home,it would be the same…they couldn’t stay together in the same room, no matter how old they are. My daughter is coming and staying at a hotel near by. I have told her her friend will be treated with dignity and kindness, but we still didn’t accept her lifestyle. I asked her to please restrain as much as possible from any physical shows of affection in front of her siblings, especially my youngest. I’ll let you know how it all turns out…please keep this all in your prayers…thankyou and God bless!
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Praying!
 
I think it’s great that she wants to come home and see her family. She obviously knows how you feel about her relationship with her partner, but is still willing to abide by your rules in order to see you. This shows that she misses you and you may have had more influence on her while she was growing up than you are giving yourself credit for.

I just hope that you, as her parents, will be willing to continue to love her even if she doesn’t end this relationship, or still continues to see other women. It almost sounds as if you’re waiting for her to pass through a phase (however, if I’m wrong in that, please let me know). Each indvidual’s sexuality is not based on an “on” or “off” switch. If she never dates another man, would you be willing to live with the disappointment that you would feel?

Scout :tiphat:
 
I ran into a couple of girls I knew from high school (we’re all now about 60) a few years ago. They belonged to the CYO club in our parish when we were in college. They have been together since high school or there abouts and their relationship is solid and they both are very happy. Be glad that your daughter has found someone with whom to share her life. Too often in the past homosexuals have been force into marriage by well meaning family and friends much to the distress of both parties.
Welcome your daughter home and meet her partner. You may be uncomfortable at first but that will pass. Charity is what is important here, on both sides. As others have said, you have your house rules and they should be respected. The visit is only a short one, so it isn’t a hardship.
Love them because this is your daughter and a woman who is dear to her.

Matthew
 
Hi all…

my daughter has come home several times since we learned of her bisexaulity, and all vists have been fine. This is the first time she has asked us to meet her friend. She has told her 19 year old sister (my daughter is 24) that she is happy for now, but still likes men, wants to get married and have her father walk her down the aisle. This was said in confidence so we can’t say anything to her, but it has helped for us. We will just continue t love her unconditionally, pray for her, and wait and see what God has in store. Thank again to all…
 
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