From what you’ve said in the past, I think you “did take the yoke upon you” and thought about things alot. You also said you made it a matter of much personal prayer. I can’t imagine anyone changing the church they attend without ask the Lord about it at least once.
Oh, heck yeah, I gave it lots of thought, study and prayer, but looking back on the process, which started more than 20 years ago, I think I was doing the right things, but for many of the wrong personal reasons. There was a lot of ego involved, and some personal animosities between me and some of my religious acquaintences. Long story. Still, at the root of the beginning of the process was a growing conviction that it couldn’t be possible that God intended for His Church to be split up into hundreds, even thousands of competing denominations. Alongside that conviction was also growing another one, that said I was NOT submitting to proper authority. The man who was personally discipling me talked all the time about submission to discipleship, but as I watched him change denominations, and watched the group I was part of split up over stupid arguments that had already been hashed out 1700 years earlier, I felt increasingly uncomfortable submitting to HIM. Then I started seeing a light on the porch, so to speak. I started reading Catholic materials, mostly small things, little historical things, catechisms, etc. That was how it began. The more I learned about the nature of Christianity, the more the Bible started to make sense to me, and the more the Bible made sense, the more the Catholic Church made sense, and so it went.
But regardless of church affiliation, there must be something inside you that responded to the gospel. Some part of you that is inspired by Godly teachings. So what’s the best way to encourage it? What works for you?
I’ve been inspired by Jesus from long, long before I knew anything about the nuts and bolts of Christian theology. Jesus came into my heart beginning in early morning hours, watching a TV program on the old Virginia Beach CBN, where I was stationed at the time, going to the Naval School of Music at Littlecreek, early 70s. The program was basically a DJ playing secular love songs, many that were popular, but speaking about the lyrics as if they were God’s love for ME, and my love for HIM in grateful response. In those days, the Bible was a great mystery to me. I knew nothing about the crucifixion, the atonement, any church, anything religious, and I mean I was pretty completely ignorant. But I did feel that love coming into my life. I strongly believe that this was/is a leading of the Holy Spirit. I’ll call it BITB, 'cause I’ll tell ya, my heart was filling up with Jesus, day by day. That doesn’t mean that it was all gravy after that. No, there were many desert years as I struggled with many issues, not least of which was finding a church home. Plus, my marriage was a mess. 'Nuther long story. To answer your current question, how do I encourage it today, I’d have to say it is through the Rosary and the Blessed Sacrament. Lately I’ve not been faithful in these two devotions as I usually am, and I am having some dry times, so I need to move back into these places of meditation and prayer. My life has its cycles which I’ve come to recognize. At times I am in almost constant conversation with God, Mary, Jesus. At other times, like now, I am less constantly in conversation, but I still do have daily conversation in prayer even so. I have to keep reminding myself that, when I need help with something, to call out to Jesus and Mary first, before I depend on myself to figure out the best route. Even in little things, like at work, when I’m having trouble with a project, just calling to Jesus and Mary for peace of mind, to help me slow down and realize that nothing I am doing today is of utmost importance, or compares in the least to those things that are truly important, like my relationship with Jesus, and my family and friends. So I guess it is a moment by moment turning over every little detail of life to Him.
