black night

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Shae

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Want no lectures, want no opinions. So if you have them, skim over this one. please.

I am at the first time in my 48 years, really doubting a catholic god and or if he is just really really harsh and selective, in who he blesses.

This time my crisis is not bothering me, which is frightening me. I sort of dont care.

It bothers me greatly when people go on about how much he blesses people with good and wholesome lives, which leads me to think what of the faithful good people who have nothing but misery and terrible trials on going. That feels very selective. God gets credit when the good times roll and when misfortune happens, he is no where.

I know a god in stories and a book, and in a past doing good and great things, but dont feel him in my life at all and if I did, I think I willed it enough with my imagination. Its that bad.

When children die at the hands of abusers and murderers and people die in sudan every second, where is the God in that story book, He came to the rescue in the past, but no more.

I am thinking it is just easier to let it go, because when I was really faithful and things were and are awry it was filled with angst and despair, and despair already is a bad crime against god.

I pleaded with him for a tiny smidgen of clarity to be released from fog, to see what he wanted from me, but I didn’t even get the tiny smidgen, so he either doesn’t exist as a catholic god or he is repulsed by me.
 
Praying for you. Keep the faith. God answers us in His time not ours. God bless.
 
No lectures or opinions. Okay.

How about a prayer, then?

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death
Amen.
:gopray:
 
Shae May God bless and sustain you.

O Lord, we call upon You in our time of sorrow,
That You give us the strength and will to bear our heavy
burdens, until we can again feel the warmth and love of
Your divine compassion. Be mindful of us and have mercy
on us while we struggle to comprehend life’s hardships.
Keep us ever in Your watch, until we can walk again with
light hearts and renewed spirits.
Amen
 
Shae said:
Want no lectures, want no opinions. So if you have them, skim over this one. please.

I am at the first time in my 48 years, really doubting a catholic god and or if he is just really really harsh and selective, in who he blesses.

This time my crisis is not bothering me, which is frightening me. I sort of dont care.

It bothers me greatly when people go on about how much he blesses people with good and wholesome lives, which leads me to think what of the faithful good people who have nothing but misery and terrible trials on going. That feels very selective. God gets credit when the good times roll and when misfortune happens, he is no where.

I know a god in stories and a book, and in a past doing good and great things, but dont feel him in my life at all and if I did, I think I willed it enough with my imagination. Its that bad.

When children die at the hands of abusers and murderers and people die in sudan every second, where is the God in that story book, He came to the rescue in the past, but no more.

I am thinking it is just easier to let it go, because when I was really faithful and things were and are awry it was filled with angst and despair, and despair already is a bad crime against god.

I pleaded with him for a tiny smidgen of clarity to be released from fog, to see what he wanted from me, but I didn’t even get the tiny smidgen, so he either doesn’t exist as a catholic god or he is repulsed by me.
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What you are going through could be described as the black night of the soul, and I think many people have gone through it (I myself have). Don’t give up, don’t despair, you are loved by God, and it may be that that love is not apparent to you now, but be patient, God has something great in store for you. You are not forgotten nor forsaken. Pray, go to mass, and read scripture, continue to this and you will find your way out.

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless
and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible,
look kindly upon us and increase your mercy in us,
that in difficult moments, we might not despair
nor become despondent,
but with great confidence
submit ourselves to your holy will
which is Love and Mercy itself. Amen.

Mary, Queen of Peace. Pray for us!
 
Well i cant lec ture you or give opinions on your situation, but i can tell u mine & others i know of. I had a bad situation & was suffering a lot (for me) & i prayed constantly. But nothing changed. I had good people in my life so i thanked God for them. I was just going along enduring & constantly asking. My prayers were answered - like red carpet answrred. I had no idea how God had planned to answer them - but He did in His time - in a way i would have never expected. And i can just day that if thats the reward for sufferimg - then -.bring it on! He wont let you.down, however it is His will and not yours that will be done.
 
I got a snarky tongue lashing the last time I asked for help at CAF, so am bit toey about this and reluctant to ask for help.

I have a prayer, that says, God, I would like a b or c to happen, but ultimately your will be done not mine. So I know about his will not mine.
 
Be careful not to get sucked into despair (which is from the devil). It seems you are in such a mindset
 
Shae said:
I got a snarky tongue lashing the last time I asked for help at CAF, so am bit toey about this and reluctant to ask for help.

I have a prayer, that says, God, I would like a b or c to happen, but ultimately your will be done not mine. So I know about his will not mine.
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I am sorry that you received a “tongue lashing” but please don’t let that put you off. In a nutshell, we don’t always think before pressing submit and can come across as rude or aggressive (okay there are some who may have that cross to bear).

Oh dear, I am struggling, as you would like help but don’t want anyone coming at you yelling or waggling their fingers. I can’t speak for anyone else, but if you want to have another go, you could try one concern or question and PM me first. As soon as I reply, you will know that I am online, with girded loins, ready, at the very least, to defend you and your question. Many of us are in different time zones, so this is the only way I can think of.

May God bless you.
 
Praying for you, Shae.

When you’re going through hell … keep going.
 
Shae said:
Want no lectures, want no opinions. So if you have them, skim over this one. please.

I am at the first time in my 48 years, really doubting a catholic god and or if he is just really really harsh and selective, in who he blesses.

This time my crisis is not bothering me, which is frightening me. I sort of dont care.

It bothers me greatly when people go on about how much he blesses people with good and wholesome lives, which leads me to think what of the faithful good people who have nothing but misery and terrible trials on going. That feels very selective. God gets credit when the good times roll and when misfortune happens, he is no where.

I know a god in stories and a book, and in a past doing good and great things, but dont feel him in my life at all and if I did, I think I willed it enough with my imagination. Its that bad.

When children die at the hands of abusers and murderers and people die in sudan every second, where is the God in that story book, He came to the rescue in the past, but no more.

I am thinking it is just easier to let it go, because when I was really faithful and things were and are awry it was filled with angst and despair, and despair already is a bad crime against god.

I pleaded with him for a tiny smidgen of clarity to be released from fog, to see what he wanted from me, but I didn’t even get the tiny smidgen, so he either doesn’t exist as a catholic god or he is repulsed by me.
Click to expand...
Hi Shae I completely understand how you feel. It is wonderful that depsite you feeling these very natural doubts you have come here to the prayer forum where we are to keen pray for you and with you. It is distressing when we see and hear of people killed every day in dreadful situations such as babies dying and of so many awful things, like poverty homelessness and starvation throughout the world. I try to remember our purpose here is to choose which path we take in life…our free will time.

We all have doubts from time to time…most especially when things happen to make us worry or sad.

God gave us just 2 commandments…Love God and Love our neighbour. We can stop so many of the dreadful things in the world like hunger poverty homelessness and so forth when we truly learn to love one another…to care…we can stop this happening…we have a long way to go yet though. When we choose to do things in our life God cannot prevent us making mistakes or doing the wrong things because we are here to choose for ourselves…the wide road or the narrow road…he cannot interfere in our choices otherwise we would not have free will.

My heart goes out to you and it is not for me to persuade you one way or the other I just hope you may be able to see things from another perspective also.

God bless you always.

Dear Lord please help Shae that she may know You and Your love for her as for all of us Your children. Amen

Eternal God , in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhastible ,
look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us ,
that in difficult moments we might not despair
nor become despondent , but with great confidence ,
submit ourselves to Your Holy Will ,
which is love and mercy itself . Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me
 
Hang in there Shae. Been there myself almost every other week. I’ll pray God gives you a good swift what for just so your doubts subside. That ok?
 
Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
Proverbs chapter 2

My son, if you will receive my words
And treasure my commandments within you,
2 Make your ear attentive to wisdom,
Incline your heart to understanding;
3 For if you cry for discernment,
Lift your voice for understanding;
4 If you seek her as silver
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
5 Then you will discern the fear of the Lord
And discover the knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord gives wisdom;
From His mouth come knowledge and understanding.
7 He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
He is a shield to those who walk in integrity,
8 Guarding the paths of justice,
And He preserves the way of His godly ones.
9 Then you will discern righteousness and justice
And equity and every good course.
10 For wisdom will enter your heart
And knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;
11 Discretion will guard you,
Understanding will watch over you,
12 To deliver you from the way of evil,
From the man who speaks perverse things;
13 From those who leave the paths of uprightness
To walk in the ways of darkness;
14 Who delight in doing evil
And rejoice in the perversity of evil;
15 Whose paths are crooked,
And who are devious in their ways;
16 To deliver you from the strange woman,
From the adulteress who flatters with her words;
17 That leaves the companion of her youth
And forgets the covenant of her God;
18 For her house sinks down to death
And her tracks lead to the dead;
19 None who go to her return again,
Nor do they reach the paths of life.
20 So you will walk in the way of good men
And keep to the paths of the righteous.
21 For the upright will live in the land
And the blameless will remain in it;
22 But the wicked will be cut off from the land
And the treacherous will be uprooted from it.
 
Praying that the Lord may grant you understanding and the guidance that you are seeking.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen
 
Perhaps someone was in that darkness before . . . . .
and cried out “why have YOU forsaken me?!?!”

Hebr 2:
17 For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. 18 Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

j.
 
:gopray:

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

:signofcross:
 
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