Blasphemy and grievous sin

[DanishGuy]

Hey there.
I have OCD and therefor I get blasphemous thoughts intrusively.
However I have been an atheist some times after leaving evangelical Christianity time after time (prayed the sinners prayer again and again) and I actually did commit blasphemy at that time.
Maybe because I felt free, who knows. I did, thought and saw things worse than you could imagine.
I still find it hard to believe that God will forgive me.
I decided to repent some time ago. Having talked to some extremely good Catholic friends.
I got into contact with a Priest and I am planning on converting within about 2 years.
But… yesterday I fell into some serious sin and the blasphemous thoughts came back. I actually sort of thought them voluntary… and now I feel like all I have done is in vain?

Should I tell the Priest about this and tell him that I am not ready to convert?
I will try not to make this happen again… I am kind of disgust at my self right now.

 

[Bookcat]

No …instead move forward towards coming into full communion with the Catholic Church

In Jesus Christ and thus in his Church is* true life.*

Do not let yourself get distracted by this!

 

[Bookcat]

(I will re-post a post I posted before - general remarks about “unwanted thoughts”)

UNWANTED THOUGHTS

All sorts of thoughts can happen to us out of the blue…(not sought etc)

The fact that a thought happened to one- does not mean per se there was any sin.

And for mortal sin one needs not only grave matter, full knowledge and deliberate (complete) consent…

Just cause a thought happened to you does not mean there was any sin. Let alone mortal sin.

Just calmly turn to something good…

---

Now…

For the next few moments --try real hard NOT to think of an Apple.

then scroll down.

What did you think of?

An apple.

Even though your will was against it (you did not want to think of an apple!)

Now back to unwanted thoughts…

The more you fear and try hard not to have them…the more they will likely come and bother you.

The best thing to do with such thoughts is not to fight them directly --not fear that they will come—simply do not consent and simply and calmly turn to something else…(or it may be best to keep doing the good thing one is doing…like they come out of the blue when your at work …keep working…keep praying …etc…calmly ignoring them…turning to something good…)

Ignore such unwanted thoughts like one would ignore a hissing goose or a barking dog. One does not stop to argue with a hissing goose or a barking dog does one? No one keeps on walking…

(as noted above the image there comes from a Carthusian Monk from centuries ago…)

Ignore such unwanted thoughts and do not fear them…just calmly turn to something good.

---

 

[CB_Catholic]

Hey there.
I have OCD and therefor I get blasphemous thoughts intrusively.
However I have been an atheist some times after leaving evangelical Christianity time after time (prayed the sinners prayer again and again) and I actually did commit blasphemy at that time.
Maybe because I felt free, who knows. I did, thought and saw things worse than you could imagine.
I still find it hard to believe that God will forgive me.
I decided to repent some time ago. Having talked to some extremely good Catholic friends.
I got into contact with a Priest and I am planning on converting within about 2 years.
But… yesterday I fell into some serious sin and the blasphemous thoughts came back. I actually sort of thought them voluntary… and now I feel like all I have done is in vain?

Should I tell the Priest about this and tell him that I am not ready to convert?
I will try not to make this happen again… I am kind of disgust at my self right now.

I will tell you a secret: I do not have OCD and get intrusive blasphemous thoughts. It is very common (from what I have read in these forums over the years and from conversations with others). These thoughts are not a sin, only if you deliberately dwell on them and encourage them. I know it is harder for people with OCD to ignore such thoughts than it is for people who do not have it (I have a granddaughter with OCD and we’ve talked about this subject), but I find that saying a quick Hail Mary helps and turning my thoughts to something else. My granddaughter uses the prayer to St. Michael the Archangel. But the important thing to keep your mind at ease is that you remember these thoughts are random and not sinful. Sin is an act of the will–you do not will these thoughts. Also temptation is not a sin.

It probably will help for you to tell your priest about this during Confession so he can help you in this area.

 

[TK421]

Hey there.
I have OCD and therefor I get blasphemous thoughts intrusively.
However I have been an atheist some times after leaving evangelical Christianity time after time (prayed the sinners prayer again and again) and I actually did commit blasphemy at that time.
Maybe because I felt free, who knows. I did, thought and saw things worse than you could imagine.
I still find it hard to believe that God will forgive me.
I decided to repent some time ago. Having talked to some extremely good Catholic friends.
I got into contact with a Priest and I am planning on converting within about 2 years.
But… yesterday I fell into some serious sin and the blasphemous thoughts came back. I actually sort of thought them voluntary… and now I feel like all I have done is in vain?

Should I tell the Priest about this and tell him that I am not ready to convert?
I will try not to make this happen again… I am kind of disgust at my self right now.

Our brain operates in two modes: autonomic and somatic. The autonomic processes, including “white noise thoughts” occur based on instilled habits from past behavior and thinking. Somatic thoughts are those which we choose to actively ruminate upon, even after being jolted into a state of awareness concerning what we is racing through our mind.

If a person is a grievous sinner, then they are at a perfect time in their life to convert. Why would a healthy person need to go to the hospital? That would be irrational. If you are as bad as you say you are, then the Church is built for people like you [just like it is built for people like me]. I have wished the suffering and death of people in my bitterness and anger as well as the death of God. That makes me a murderer.

Don’t be impressed with yourself. Men are wicked and cruel and self-serving as well as sadistic, lustful, envious and easily drunk with power and control. It’s what we are, but it doesn’t have to be who we are.

 

[MaryT777]

No …instead move forward towards coming into full communion with the Catholic Church

In Jesus Christ and thus in his Church is* true life.*

Do not let yourself get distracted by this!

I completely agree. Hope your thoughts won’t discourage you from entering the Church.
Others have given good advice as well and I wish you peace.

Mary.