Blasphemy Challenge :(

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Hi,

So long story short I grew up pentecostal Christian (Spanish) as a kid eventually like at around 18 until recenty (am in my early 30s now) i was an athiest. A few years ago while looking for athiesm stuff I ran into catholic answers live and trent horn through my podcast app. Little by little i went from athiest to agnostic to where I am now an agnostic who wants to become Christian again. My influences are Trwnt Horn, Dr Craig and Karlo Broussard. Anyways… Point is as i start to learn and want to convert something crosses my mind, i remember during my hardcore athiest days i was a fan of penn jillete and a whole bunch of others and they had this dumb youtube challenge called rhe blasphemy challenge where if you do the unforgivable sin of blasphemy against the holy spirit you get a dvd or a book or something from a rational thinkers group. I never did the video and I doubt i even did it mentally even though I kind of liked the idea of aligning my self with those athiests. I doubt i did it but i am scared, what if i did do it mentally or even said ir which i doubt. I deff didnt so the video.now that i want to convert i am scared that it makes no sense to convert because I am doomed either way. I never thought i’d believe or want ot belueve again. Didnt think id ever think maybe this can be real. Did not know abouy apologetics. Did not really belueve growing up etc. Even though i was raised in church. Now that apologetics is working on me and i am praying nightly and every morning and buying books like the case for christ etc. I wonder if its too late. I am having depression and anxiety attacks over this too because now that i want to conver or learn i now have no hope :_( any thoughts? According to ither websites. There were differenr context to the verse but i don’t know… 😦 i have ocd all day now because of this and I spent Christmas depressed.
 
So if I read this right, you watched a video advocating sinful behavior, but you didn’t actually do the behavior and now even if you somehow did it you’re sorry and repentant.

You’re not doomed. First, you may not have even committed the sin, and second, even if you somehow did, you are thoroughly repentant now and very sorry and don’t want to do it again. Stop worrying.

If you should become a Catholic, you would just confess this in your first confession and the priest would absolve you, any sin would be washed from your soul, and that would be the end of it. If you do not become a Catholic, then you would not receive absolution, but God would still take note of your repentance and probably not doom you to hell.
 
It might be a bit off topic, but we seem to get a lot of converts from Pentecostal and the Mormons.
 
I’m not sure exactly what action you committed, but you can be assured that you did not commit the unforgivable sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

It is good that you recognize your past offences and that you’re looking to conversion, there’s no need to worry. You have my prayers and others’ here as well I’m sure.
 
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I’m sorry about that, but you know for people that are convinced there’s no God, they sure want to go out of their way to offend him. Just a thought. Remember, any sin can be forgiven if you ask for it, the only sin that can’t be forgiven is the one that you don’t ask for forgiveness.
 
If you committed blasphemy against the Spirit, you wouldn’t be expressing regret.

Blasphemy against the Spirit means being hardened and impenitent to the last breath.
 
As a mentor once told me “if you are worried that you have committed the ‘unpardonable sin’, then, you have not committed it.”
 
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