Blessing after Death for Non-Practicing Catholic

[Brownginger]

I have a question about having a memorial service for someone who was baptized in the Catholic Church as a baby and who married outside of the Church and has not been a practicing Catholic since that time, if not longer.

This person’s family would like to have some sort of service – not a burial, as she was cremated – but perhaps a weekday Mass after which a Deacon would give a eulogy and recite some prayers. There seems to be an iron-clad rule that if one was not a member of a parish during one’s life immediately preceding one’s death, this is not possible. This has caused severely damaged feelings and I have been unable to give a sufficient reason for this, except to cite the fact that the Church is an organization with rules, etc. Is there no way this family can get a small memorial service?

 

[Kithrus]

“May he/she get to heaven an half hour before the Devil knows the poor soul is dead.”

 

[George_Stegmeir]

I have a question about having a memorial service for someone who was baptized in the Catholic Church as a baby and who married outside of the Church and has not been a practicing Catholic since that time, if not longer.

This person’s family would like to have some sort of service – not a burial, as she was cremated – but perhaps a weekday Mass after which a Deacon would give a eulogy and recite some prayers. There seems to be an iron-clad rule that if one was not a member of a parish during one’s life immediately preceding one’s death, this is not possible. This has caused severely damaged feelings and I have been unable to give a sufficient reason for this, except to cite the fact that the Church is an organization with rules, etc. Is there no way this family can get a small memorial service?

I don’t know where you are located, but have you talked to the Pastor of your Church or someone in your Diocesean Office about this? This may be just the decision of your local Bishop or Pastor. It is not the case in New York City or in South Florida. In both areas, the Church gives the benefit of the doubt to the deceased for the sake of the dead person’s family. As for restricting services to members of the Parish only, that may work in some places where people are not as mobile as they are in the USA.
There are many loyal practicing Catholics in the US that do not belong to the parish where they worship, for the simple reason that they have moved from somewhere else. As an example,Just stop to think of the thousands upon thousands of Catholic military families that are re-located every few years, and do not worship at the military base chapel…and the thousands of practicing Catholics veterans who never return to their home towns when they are discharged.

 

[Cristiano]

I have a question about having a memorial service for someone who was baptized in the Catholic Church as a baby and who married outside of the Church and has not been a practicing Catholic since that time, if not longer.

This person’s family would like to have some sort of service – not a burial, as she was cremated – but perhaps a weekday Mass after which a Deacon would give a eulogy and recite some prayers. There seems to be an iron-clad rule that if one was not a member of a parish during one’s life immediately preceding one’s death, this is not possible. This has caused severely damaged feelings and I have been unable to give a sufficient reason for this, except to cite the fact that the Church is an organization with rules, etc. Is there no way this family can get a small memorial service?

I am sure that the family can ask for a memorial Mass at the Parish that they attend, it would be a regular Mass where they mention the name of the deceased during the prayers of intercession. I think that the problem might arise if the rest of the family is not practicing either. Eulogies are not allowed at Mass even when the funeral rite is associated with the Mass.

 

[Anna_Claire]

You stated the the person was cremated. Were the ashes buried? . Catholic teaching is that the cremated remains are still the body but in another form and deserve the respect accorded the corporeal body. Perhaps a committal rite and burial with a priest or deacon…?

That being said a baptized Catholic is allowed a Catholic funeral even if that person has not been active in the faith. There can be a funeral without a mass if that is better for pastoral reasons. Later, a mass for the dead can be celebrated for the comfort of the bereaved.