Blessing of marriage

[cccw2009]

I’m married civilly and am on my journey to become a Catholic. I’m staring my first RCIA class this evening! I asked my pastor about having my marriage blessed and he told me that it will be blessed at the Easter Vigil. I didn’t bother to ask why it can’t be sooner. So my question is, must my husband and I live like brother and sister til the blessing of our marriage? Its not an issue but I just want to be clear about this so I can begin my journey on the right path.

Thanks to all!

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

I’m married civilly and am on my journey to become a Catholic. I’m staring my first RCIA class this evening! I asked my pastor about having my marriage blessed and he told me that it will be blessed at the Easter Vigil. I didn’t bother to ask why it can’t be sooner. So my question is, must my husband and I live like brother and sister til the blessing of our marriage? Its not an issue but I just want to be clear about this so I can begin my journey on the right path.

Thanks to all!

You would probably do best by talking further with your pastor.

You are in RCIA so you probably were not baptized as a Catholic. What about your husband? Is he Catholic? Depending on whether either of you were Catholic and whether this is the first marriage for each of you, the answers to your question will change.

Your pastor can help you sort through the questions to ask and give you advice about what to do now.

 

[streetpreacher]

It kicks in once you start confession. Since you are not Catholic right now, you are not obligated to follow what the church teaches, including how your marriage is arranged.

 

[1ke]

I’m married civilly and am on my journey to become a Catholic. I’m staring my first RCIA class this evening! I asked my pastor about having my marriage blessed and he told me that it will be blessed at the Easter Vigil. I didn’t bother to ask why it can’t be sooner. So my question is, must my husband and I live like brother and sister til the blessing of our marriage? Its not an issue but I just want to be clear about this so I can begin my journey on the right path.

Thanks to all!

Well, there are a number of important details here so it is best to follow up with your priest.

A few general observations that might help you:

(a) If neither you nor your spouse are baptized Catholics, and you have no impediments like a prior marriage, then your marriage is 100% **valid **right now. *Convalidation *(sometimes called getting your marriage “blessed”) is for those in an *invalid *marriage. Is there anything leading you to believe you are in an invalid marriage?

(b) It seems odd that the priest said “Easter Vigil.” So perhaps what he *meant *was that your marriage will become a *sacrament *at Easter Vigil. This would be true if your spouse is baptized and you are not or if neither of you is baptized but both are becoming Catholic at Easter Vigil. Upon your baptism, your natural marriage becomes a sacrament by virtue of your baptism.

(c) If you are in a valid marriage right now, after you are received into the Church you can ask the priest go perform the Nuptial Blessing for you and your spouse. This is part of the marriage rite, and it is a *blessing * for the two of you **not **a convalidation for validity of the marriage.

(d) If you are in a valid marriage, no you do not need to live as brother and sister. If there are some irregularities in your situation-- such as a spouse who is Catholic and married outside the Church or any prior marriages-- then you need to make an appointment with your priest and discuss all this in detail.

 

[1ke]

It kicks in once you start confession. Since you are not Catholic right now, you are not obligated to follow what the church teaches, including how your marriage is arranged.

This is not an accurate statement.

Catechumens absolutely should be living according to Catholic moral teaching, attending Mass, etc.

 

[Seatuck]

Ask for an appointment to discuss whether you need to wait or not. Doesn’t seem necessary to me. Did He set up any marital classes or discussions?

 

[Sandalwood]

we just became Catholic at this last Easter Vigil and did not have to change our marital situation at all. One person in our class did though because she had been married prior to her current marriage and it had not been annuled yet.

 

[sugarbreak]

In my case, because we were both baptized Catholics, we had to be confirmed before our marriage was convalidated. That would have occurred at Easter Vigil if we had been ready then.

 

[puzzleannie]

I’m married civilly and am on my journey to become a Catholic. I’m staring my first RCIA class this evening! I asked my pastor about having my marriage blessed and he told me that it will be blessed at the Easter Vigil. I didn’t bother to ask why it can’t be sooner. So my question is, must my husband and I live like brother and sister til the blessing of our marriage? Its not an issue but I just want to be clear about this so I can begin my journey on the right path.

Thanks to all!

you are quite right to question and ask for further pastoral guidance. we can’t answer because we don’t know the specifics of your situation, but the priest does, or should if you have given him all the facts.

 

[cccw2009]

Sorry for the lack of information. Should have added more details. My husband is a confirmed Catholic. I need all of the sacraments. We got married through the court. My pastor told us a while back that the Church does not recognize our marriage. I asked my RCIA teacher about this and she also told me to ask my pastor about this since she couldn’t give me a clear answer. Thanks for all the helpful replies!

 

[1ke]

Sorry for the lack of information. Should have added more details. My husband is a confirmed Catholic. I need all of the sacraments. We got married through the court. My pastor told us a while back that the Church does not recognize our marriage. I asked my RCIA teacher about this and she also told me to ask my pastor about this since she couldn’t give me a clear answer. Thanks for all the helpful replies!

Ok, then, your marriage needs either convalidation or radical sanation since it is invalid due to lack of form by virtue of your husband’s status as a Catholic.

Easter Vigil will not correct this. Perhaps your pastor isn’t aware of the details because again, that was an odd statement.

Please make an appointment to talk to him. Don’t try to grab him after mass or at RCIA. This needs to be a sit-down talk with all the facts laid out.

Your marriage situation needs to be resolved before you receive the Sacraments.

 

[puzzleannie]

Ok, then, your marriage needs either convalidation or radical sanation since it is invalid due to lack of form by virtue of your husband’s status as a Catholic.

Easter Vigil will not correct this. Perhaps your pastor isn’t aware of the details because again, that was an odd statement.

Please make an appointment to talk to him. Don’t try to grab him after mass or at RCIA. This needs to be a sit-down talk with all the facts laid out.

Your marriage situation needs to be resolved before you receive the Sacraments.

yes she is right you must speak with your priest to make sure he understands everything you need to fit your situation

the kicker is you will also need sacramental confession before your marriage convalidation, and at least here most priests schedule the convalidation right after confession, and the initiation sacraments immediately after. I have heard that since there is no assurance the average couple will not resume marital relations after confession and before the other sacraments, that accounts for the timing. A typical parish here will have confessions and convalidations in Holy Week for those who will be involved in the Easter Vigil, or confession in the morning, convalidation in the afternoon, and initiation sacraments at the Saturday evening Mass during the year.

again since we don’t know your situation, if you are baptized etc. we can give a specific answer as to the timing of your sacraments, only your priest can do that, and you have the right to ask him to explain why

 

[mswood]

yes she is right you must speak with your priest to make sure he understands everything you need to fit your situation

the kicker is you will also need sacramental confession before your marriage convalidation, and at least here most priests schedule the convalidation right after confession, and the initiation sacraments immediately after. I have heard that since there is no assurance the average couple will not resume marital relations after confession and before the other sacraments, that accounts for the timing. A typical parish here will have confessions and convalidations in Holy Week for those who will be involved in the Easter Vigil, or confession in the morning, convalidation in the afternoon, and initiation sacraments at the Saturday evening Mass during the year.

again since we don’t know your situation, if you are baptized etc. we can give a specific answer as to the timing of your sacraments, only your priest can do that, and you have the right to ask him to explain why

The OP would only need confession if she had already been baptized. Since she said previously that she needs all the sacraments it may be that she is not currently baptized. Her husband on the other hand would probably need confession before convalidation.

I agree that she needs to make an appointment and speak with her priest.