Blessings from Priest Denied

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agjahn

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Hi all,
I did a search to better understand the rationale, laws, rights, etc. of a Catholic priest denying to give blessings to any person within his parish but did not find much information. I am hoping this forum can shed more light on the subject.

We have a priest who has stated that he does not give blessings. His rule has applied across all settings and situations which he has made very clear by denying to give a blessing to those who seek them (e.g., the young, sick, elderly, etc.) and will not bless those who walk up to communion but cannot receive communion. He had stated that if you cannot receive communion then to remain seated in the pew.

I am giving him the benefit of the doubt (though it is atypical of my experiences) and thinking this is within his right as a priest but do see how his behavior is affecting those who are devout and supportive of this parish and community. Is this something to be addressed with the dioceses or is his stance something that is acceptable and to be respected by the congregation?
 
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I asked, but more in a general way regarding blessings rather than specific to the elderly, and his response was, “It is just something I do not do.”. It was a rushed response after all had left after mass, so I did not feel it was the best time to discuss or that he had the time to discuss. He is quick to point out those that arrive late (which I have had priests do before so nothing I’d consider out of the ordinary), but he is quite difficult to talk to and I struggle to get clear answers or that he is interested in having a conversation.
 
agjahn said:
will not bless those who walk up to communion but cannot receive communion. He had stated that if you cannot receive communion then to remain seated in the pew.
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Technically, blessings aren’t supposed to be done in the communion line. Most priests do it anyway because it’s come to be expected, but there are three main reasons why it shouldn’t be done: first, it’s not part of the liturgy, and no priest is empowered to add to or take away from the liturgical rites; second, it’s wrong to give blessings in the exposed presence of the Blessed Sacrament, hence incense is not blessed at exposition and benediction; third, Canon Law prohibits giving public ministrations, including blessings, to those who are not eligible to receive them, particularly those in a public manifest state of grave sin, lest it appear the Church endorses their sin and thus gives scandal by leading others to do the same.

So not giving blessings in the communion line is actually correct.

If the priest is refusing to give any other blessings at any other time, i.e. outside of Mass or blessing houses and cars and whatnot, then it’s wrong of him to deny that to his people without good reason.

-Fr ACEGC
 
If you attend Mass, you get a blessing at the end of Mass.

If you attend Benediction, you get blessed as part of Benediction.

Not seeing what the problem is here. I am sure the priest at least has regular Masses so if anybody needs a blessing that badly they can come to his Mass and get one. That may be what he’s trying to encourage. If he also has Benediction then you can come to that and get the blessing directly from Jesus himself.

There is no entitlement to just get a blessing from a priest any old time you want one, and I can’t remember ever seeking out a priest and asking him to bless me. As for the blessings at communion, it’s well established that some priests do not like this practice for many different reasons, and don’t want people coming up in line unless they are going to receive; these priests would also say that everyone gets a blessing at the end of Mass anyway.

Edited to add, I see Father thinks that priests should be open to blessing people at other times, so I may be wrong on this. I just find it a bit odd because while we would often have priests bless things like new cars or houses, we did not go up to the priest and ask him to bless us personally, as in bless persons, outside of Mass. It’s hard for me to imagine why someone would want this or ask this, unless maybe they were sick in the hospital and the priest was doing visits and blessed them as part of that. But I may be out of touch with things.
 
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You’re ahead of me then. I just would have figured the priest was busy and gone to Mass for my blessing at the end with everyone else.

One issue I can see with it, other than blessing sick folks or elderly homebound, is that from what I’ve seen around parishes, there are going to be people hitting up the priest for a blessing on a very regular basis. Some of them might even start treating it like a magic charm, or getting into a snit when the priest doesn’t happen to be around or can’t see them and bless them. We have already had parents on here complaining when some priest did not want to bless their child in the communion line. It becomes less about getting the blessing for some people, and more about getting some special recognition by the priest.
 
That’s fine, I am not saying you would do those things.

I’ve seen a lot of parishioners in my life who really wanted to be the “big man on campus” or the priest’s best buddy. Their behavior is similar to when I see people who throw themselves at their favorite musicians or celebrities. I find it offputting and tend to always hang back.

I would also be afraid to ask for anything on my birthday for fear the priest would have some reason to refuse (like he thinks I should just get the blessing at Mass). I’ve actually had birthdays on trips with groups including a priest and the priests never offered me a blessing or anything so the thought would not have entered my mind.
 
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Thank you for the explanation. I appreciate your response and can absolutely respect that decision. I appreciate that this priest has been consistent and will make his stance clear prior to communion.

For those seeking a private blessing of some sort after mass had been something I grew up observing across all churches I’ve attended that I might have come to think this was something that would be provided to those who feel the need to receive it. I always took it as a symbol that the parishioner respected the priesthood and that the priest was showing care for his parishioner.

I might be blurring the lines between Canon Law and the “soft skills” (for lack of better word) that have made the church feel inviting.
 
I appreciate your perspective and sharing your experiences. I had not had the same observations or experiences but it does bring about more thought on this specific priest and his own experiences which might have shaped this behavior and led to his general rule of not providing blessings regardless of circumstance. I know we all bring our own history into each new position or situation, so I know something must be guiding his decisions, whether it be law or preference. Thank you for shedding light on an aspect I had not considered.
 
Yes, it’s interesting to me to see how people who came from other parishes and other situations perceive things differently. Sometimes it’s cultural, sometimes it has to do with the size of the parish and sometimes it has to do with just the preferences or style of the individual priest. Some priests are very pastoral and would be seeking out people to bless and interact with, other priests give off a pretty strong vibe of “if you’re not dying or receiving a sacrament from me then I’m busy”.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Edited to add, I see Father thinks that priests should be open to blessing people at other times, so I may be wrong on this. I just find it a bit odd because while we would often have priests bless things like new cars or houses, we did not go up to the priest and ask him to bless us personally, as in bless persons, outside of Mass. It’s hard for me to imagine why someone would want this or ask this, unless maybe they were sick in the hospital and the priest was doing visits and blessed them as part of that. But I may be out of touch with things.
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People do come up and ask for blessings after Mass, especially the Hispanic community. People ask for blessings for birthdays and if they’re traveling. It’s a virtuously effortless thing, so it makes sense just to do it. If a priest doesn’t go out of his way to do blessings all the time, whatever, but I’ve never quite understood the priests who are so vocally opposed to those or any other blessings.
 
I see. I think this may be a cultural thing, as there were zero Hispanic Catholics around the local parishes when I was growing up.

A question though - if they’re coming up after Mass for a blessing, they were just blessed like 5 minutes ago at the end of the Mass. Don’t they think the first one was effective?
 
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I grew up in South Texas so I can definitely see there could be a cultural impact and having visiting priests from India, Ireland, or other dioceses across the U.S. has always provided great insight into differences that could be cultural (especially when the priest is open to candidly note any differences).

Typically, requested blessings have pertained to specific events, such as a special occasion, upcoming surgery, illness, etc. Those are merely based on my observations, but tend to be the most common situations that come up.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
I just would have figured the priest was busy and gone to Mass for my blessing at the end with everyone else.
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If he has time to greet people after Mass, he has time to impart a blessing…I see your point where you might think he was busy, but I would have great reservations about a priest who thought himself to busy to give a blessing…but that’s just my opinion.
 
It has been pretty normal, for most of my life, to ask for a travel blessing.

And of course we’ve always had things like medals and scapulars blessed.

I’ve never found a priest that had a problem with doing it. I would have thought that it would be a been part of their normal day.

OP, do you have a deacon? They can also offer blessings.
 
I mean, I don’t know the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ of it. But I can say that hearing about this makes me feel sad. Why would a father refuse to bless his children?

I mean, maybe if people are seeking him out way too much, or being scrupulous and asking for every key on their keychain to be blessed (I don’t know if this is a thing)… but just a blanket ban on ever offering blessings? I certainly haven’t seen that in any priest I’ve met yet. Priests in my congregations even usually mention when a major opportunity for blessings is coming up (like blessing animals, or cars, etc). And I’ve had a priest who enjoyed getting out his book of blessings to find just the right blessing to use for a situation.
 
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My wife has long been in the habit of taking a new rosary, crucifix, or other sacramental to the church, so that she can ask the priest to bless it. It only takes a moment. I’m surprised a priest would refuse categorically, which is what is the OP is describing here.
 
I always have the priest bless my sacramentals too and yes, it only takes a minute, unless you want one of the longer traditional blessings in which case it might be possible to obtain that blessing from a traditional priest or by attending a blessing ceremony on a day such as Candlemas or in Hispanic church on Our Lady of Guadalupe feast day. The priest at the Candlemas service I attended was blessing all sacramentals too, not just candles - everything went on a special table and got blessed.

The issue here is about blessing persons, as I understand it - not sacramentals. Of course the blessing itself is a sacramental.
The thing about blessing persons is that like I said, the priest blesses the people at the end of every Mass, and usually there is a Mass every day to get this blessing. The priest doesn’t bless rosaries or statues or whatever daily, you have to ask him.
 
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I agree with the ones here who say that giving blessings is part of the priest’s ’mission’, so to speak, to guide the flock. Blessings do help individuals in their spiritual life and shouldn’t be denied.

You also said this:
agjahn said:
He had stated that if you cannot receive communion then to remain seated in the pew.
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Now this is a thing that, to my understanding, is the only encouraged practice. Apparently Vatican has explicitly discouraged the practice of individual blessings during the Eucharist as it might make some see it as an alternative to the Blessed Sacrament. After all, there is a common blessing right before dismissal. But then again, many priests do it and I don’t think that’s the greatest issue in the Church today.
 
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edward_george1 said:
second, it’s wrong to give blessings in the exposed presence of the Blessed Sacrament, hence incense is not blessed at exposition and benediction;
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This is not correct.

Ceremonial of Bishops has:

“1109 The bishop rises, the censerbearer goes to him, and, as the deacon holds the incense boat before him, the bishop puts incense into the censer and blesses it. Kneeling, the bishop takes the censer from the deacon, bows together with the ministers assisting him, then incenses the blessed sacrament.”

It is from the chapter with the title “Eucharistic Exposition and Benediction”. 1108 describes the Blessed Sacrament being put in a monstrance which is put on the altar.

[Excerpt from the English translation of Ceremonial of Bishops © 1989, International Commission on English in the Liturgy Corporation. All rights reserved.]
 
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