Blocked by God?

[Nap66]

I feel blocked by God. A year ago I followed everything God told me to do and changed my life circumstances completely. In return I was left in a situation that I do not really want to be in. Now I’m blocked in by God. I know he doesn’t want me out of my current situation. I’ve tried and tried to change my life and in return all I get from God is “no, you will not get that job, no you will not have that relationship, no you will not move away, no you will stay and deal with people who hate you, no the people who harass you will continue to do so,” and on and on.

Can’t God just step aside once and let my free will take over? I thought we had free will. Oh unless it butts up against God’s will and then poof! no more free will.

Anyone else feel like God has blocked his/her life?

 

[Tulitas]

No, God has continually done what is best for me, even when I cold not see it at the time.
I was in a job I hated for 7 years…but it prepared me for the fabulous job I have now.
At the time I didn’t understand His ways. Now it’s all crystal clear.
We can grow impatient with God, but He never is with us. He’s a loving Father, and brother who understands and a Spirit of renewal and love.
I will pray for you, and the answers you seek.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

No. If a block happens, I try to find a way around. I may get really frustrated.
But I don’t see it as God doing something bad to me.
To the extent I see God as involved, I figure He wants me to learn a lesson (lessons are not always fun to learn), or do something other than what I originally planned.

 

[Nap66]

To the extent I see God as involved, I figure He wants me to learn a lesson (lessons are not always fun to learn), or do something other than what I originally planned.

What happens if God wants you to do absolutely nothing? I literally mean nothing - just sit and stare at the wall. I swear that is what he wants me to do.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

In that case I would say maybe He wants you to focus on Him for a while.
That’s probably not a pleasant answer, but when I’ve read books by saints and such where God kind of removed everything a person had in their life, that seems to be the conclusion they drew.

 

[Nap66]

In that case I would say maybe He wants you to focus on Him for a while.

How do I do that other than sit in my house and pray all day long? I’m not trying to be a PITA (although I probably am one), I just don’t understand. I don’t want to be a saint. I just want to live a normal life like other normal people. Other normal people seem to get things, life goes on as it should and apparently God doesn’t need their focus.

I guess I can complain all I want, it will be exactly as he wants it. I tried for a year to remove the block. It’s not going anywhere. I’ve focused on God for a year and the blockage has only increased. Guess I’m doing something wrong.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Saints didn’t necessary want to be saints, either.

i don’t want to be a recent widow right now but as you say, I don’t have a choice.

Sometimes we just need to work with what gets thrown at us.

I’m sorry I don’t have a better answer.

 

[pensmama87]

I was in a situation similar to this for several years. It was agonizing…but at the end, I saw how much I had learned to lean on and trust in God rather than myself. One of the things that always sticks out to me when I read the Old Testament is the description of the Israelites as a “stiff-necked people.” Oh boy, is that me!

I know it is hard, especially when you don’t know when or how it will end. <3 I will pray for you.

 

[Rozellelily]

What makes you sure that it is God that is blocking your life and not just the way that life is turning out by itself?
Eg:you mentioned relationship-could it not just be a case that that certain girl is not interested in you,or you turned out to not be compatible with each other etc?

 

[midori]

Sometimes, God tears us down, so that he gets to reassemble us in a way that’s better. He helps us undergo suffering and trials, because we learn something from it, and we gain something by it, and we’re better people because of it. Sometimes, we don’t know what it was until we can look back and say, “Ahhhhhh…”

But at the same time, it’s also a mistake to attribute things to God that aren’t from God. So you need to be really careful about saying, “God, you’re blocking me!” if it’s not actually the case. There’s a difference between God blocking you, and God allowing you to be blocked, if that makes sense?

So, the safest prayer is always, “Help me grow from this situation to be the person who’s pleasing to you” or “Thy will be done” or “Please give me the graces I need to deal with this situation successfully.” Rather than saying, “Dear God, give me a better job” or “Dear God, fix that unpleasant person” or “Dear God, give me a relationship” or “Dear God, I want a job in Honolulu”. And the more you focus on changing yourself into being the person that God wants you to be, and cooperating with him, rather than fighting with him— things smooth out.

That’s not to say that things are always 100% awesome. Look at all the great people who were loved by God who were still surrounded by unpleasant, harassing people-- like, say, Jesus. Or Padre Pio. Or St. Therese. Or any number of people. If your happiness is tied to everybody liking you, you’re never going to be happy… but having that relationship of love and trust with God allows you to rise above the details of your environment.

 

[Nap66]

i don’t want to be a recent widow right now but as you say, I don’t have a choice.

Sometimes we just need to work with what gets thrown at us.

Yes, you have every right not to want that suffering. Being widowed is so very painful. Especially when I’m sure you see other people who don’t go through such suffering and are not such “great” people. Why you? At least that is what I would say. “Why me God, why throw so much stuff at me? What did I do to deserve it?”
But God never answers me. Just silence and more troubles. Pity party. Yup that is me, party of one.

I wish I had your faith and strength Tis_Bearself. I really do.

 

[Nap66]

There’s a difference between God blocking you, and God allowing you to be blocked, if that makes sense?

Not really. If God allows it then he wants it to happen because it will happen. People have asked how do you know it’s God blocking you? Oh I know it with all the fiber in my being. Sometimes you just know and it can not be explained to other people. Cop out I know, but there it is.

And the more you focus on changing yourself into being the person that God wants you to be, and cooperating with him, rather than fighting with
him— things smooth out.

Has that happened to you? If so, how did you do it and how long did it take?

 

[Francis]

God loves you so much,Jn 15:16

Lamentations 3:20 My soul continually thinks of it
and is bowed down within me.
21 But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”

25 The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul that seeks him.
26 It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
27 It is good for one to bear
the yoke in youth,
28 to sit alone in silence
when the Lord has imposed it,
29 to put one’s mouth to the dust
(there may yet be hope),
30 to give one’s cheek to the smiter,
and be filled with insults.

31 For the Lord will not
reject forever.
32 Although he causes grief, he will have compassion
according to the abundance of his steadfast love;
33 for he does not willingly afflict
or grieve anyone.

 

[LilyM]

midori:

There’s a difference between God blocking you, and God allowing you to be blocked, if that makes sense?

Not really. If God allows it then he wants it to happen because it will happen. People have asked how do you know it’s God blocking you? Oh I know it with all the fiber in my being. Sometimes you just know and it can not be explained to other people. Cop out I know, but there it is.

And the more you focus on changing yourself into being the person that God wants you to be, and cooperating with him, rather than fighting with
him— things smooth out.

Has that happened to you? If so, how did you do it and how long did it take?

People used to ‘know with every fibre in their being’ that the earth was flat and was the cemtre of the universe with the sun and the planets revolving around it. They were wrong. You could be too.

 

[Nap66]

They were wrong. You could be too.

I could be. But I doubt it.

 

[midori]

My kid can sit in a bucket, and not be able to get out by himself. I can warn him that it’s a bad idea to sit in a bucket, and watch him as he ignores my advice. Or perhaps he might go sit in a bucket without my knowledge. and either help him out as soon as I see he’s stuck in a bucket, with his legs up around his ears-- or I can let him keep sitting in the bucket long enough to take some photos and email them to Daddy and Grandma-- or I can stand there and talk with him about “How did you get into this situation? Are you going to do this again? What did we learn?” My reaction is going to vary depending on my kid, his danger level, and his ability to learn from his experiences. But in none of those cases was I responsible for sticking my kid in the bucket— but in one scenario, I rescued him promptly, and in two scenarios, I let him continue sitting in the bucket for a bit before I went and rescued him.

So the same thing is true with us. Sometimes, we go off and get stuck in a bucket. And we can’t tip it over, and we can’t stand up, and all we can do is sit in that bucket with our feet in the air and cry for someone to help us. We sit down in that bucket and think, “Won’t this be a great idea!” and then we realize, “Uh, you know, this isn’t a good situation to be in, and I can’t rescue myself from it on my own.” And the buckets in our lives take many forms.

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re: cooperation vs fighting, there have been so many different situations. It would be helpful to have more details about what sort of situation you’ve been “left in”, how you got there, and where you were before, to have a better idea of where you might be in your own path.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I tried to respond to this last night but I was too tired (had just come from a “Celebration of Life” I arranged for the husband so his workmates in another state from where his funeral was could attend).

I will give it a try again now since I’ve just had coffee.

1. Yes, it’s painful, and apart from St. Elizabeth Seton’s modern story, the lives of the saints often do not address this pain adequately, making it sound like the bereaved spouse (of either sex) just transitioned easily or sometimes even happily into a saintly monastery founder, almsgiver, or other holy person.
2. I didn’t really think “why me” because I have had a pretty happy life, death is a natural phase of life and part of life (albeit one that our society today avoids thinking about and often irrationally detests), death is just a temporary separation (which still sucks, but only temporarily, like a long business trip), and this situation could have been much, much worse in many, many ways. I also feel like Jesus, Mary and Joseph had a hand in this and that this is meant to be a learning experience for me (which still sucks, like sitting in math class when you want to be out playing ball, but later you’ll be glad you learned your math).
3. I happened upon a pamphlet of reflections on losing a loved one written by some Dominican that is extremely interesting and insightful and considers this entire experience in terms of our relationship with God. It is both comforting and eye-opening stuff. I am quite sure God put the pamphlet right in my path for me to find, along with a couple other things.
4. Faith is a gift. If you really want it, ask God for it. It’s not always a fun gift though. For all what I wrote above, I’d rather have my husband back right now this minute here on earth and not a delayed reaction “see you on the other side”. God has other ideas, so faith and hope are all I got. And they are good things, but it’s like getting a healthy vegetable salad when you wanted a piece of cake.

 

[TheOldColonel]

Some find it helpful to go back to school. It’s a wonderful way to “re-create” yourself and ponder a new career, a new place to live and make new friends. People do this at all ages these days. School changes the way one thinks, breaks down old ways of thinking and gives a new perspective on the future. God is more permissive than some might think. He doesn’t have most of us pegged from day one to be this or that. We get to decide. In my experience, deciding a path for oneself is often harder than being told what to do. Often, God is simply not going to tell us what to do.

 

[MSSheBear]

I have felt that God was ignoring me many times. One time it was because I was in a state of mortal sin. Other times it was what amounted to a disagreement about my lifestyle. Other times I just don’t know why.

In all cases I found praying to the saints for intercession helped. I had to keep trying. I find reading the lives of saints, such as St. Bridget of Sweden, might give you a better perspective. I have also found that just whining to God gets results too.

God is omniscient but we are not. Not everything is obvious to us right now but may make sense later.

 

[Sunflower98]

Nap66, I do understand what you’re talking about. I feel this way somewhat about my husband’s career path. In the last 12 years he has had three career setbacks. The first two were due to mass corporate downsizing and layoffs. More recently, he was fired by a tyrannical boss who made his life hell for six months before doing so. He tried to find a different job while still employed. He had several interviews. He’d get deep into process just to hear “no.”

So, now he’s a 55+ guy who’s had three jobs in 12 years, just got canned and has to try and convince a hiring manager he’s the best person for the job. My husband isn’t a stupid man. He works very hard. He’s easy to get along with. Watching him go through this over and over again is heartbreaking. It frightens me for our financial future. Ironically, much of the money we spent in those 12 years, money that could have gone to his 401K, went to Catholic education for our kids. That combined with him being dismissed during Holy Week…yeah, it’s hard to feel like God cares sometimes.

The way I cope with it? To focus on what is right about my life: I have a roof over my head, clean water, food in my fridge and a beautiful family. If the job situation doesn’t reverse itself, our financial situation will be ugly. I know that. But, I have to have faith that God knows better than we do and has a purpose for this pain. I’ll pray for you Nap66, please pray for us, too. God bless.