.Read Job in the Old Testament.
Sometimes those who love God have to go through dark times. Your words describe my best friend’s experience in life over about four years.
He does with me. He tells me exactly what NOT to do, which is essentially telling me what to do. When I was away from the Church and God for 30 years I did all kinds of things (three college degrees, many jobs, relationships, travel, etc). When God told me to come back, I did and now nothing. I gave up a job, relationship, a warm place to live to come back. I expected God would show me the way. Nope. Just not the way. Don’t do this, don’t do that. What shall I do? Silence. Such is my life. And if I do step out and DO something, it’s smacked down and fails immediately.
The only thing that helps is praying to Mary. But she cannot change my life or ask God to remove the block/his will. I know when I pray to Mary she is comforting and says “I know how you feel.” She looks with sad eyes on all of us, knowing the crap we have to go through. But God has the final say, irregardless of the saints’ intercession.
I hope God has a purpose for your pain, and it is a good purpose. But none of us are guaranteed that our pain leads to good. Sometimes pain and crap are just pain and crap and it is God’s will that you have it with nothing more. Why? I’ll never know. It’s really the blockage that irritates me more than anything. The everything you do will fail, don’t bother to do anything blockage that makes life unbearable. Why even be alive if God wants you to do absolutely nothing? I don’t know if your husband feels that way, but I sure do.
What I can’t understand is why doesn’t he mold other people with blockages? It seems like the worst people get the most blessings. When I was away from the Church and God, I got things, got to do things, and was relatively content. Now that I’m back, all that is gone. And maybe God is molding my character, but I feel less of a person than I was before. Does God mold us until we are nobody? Where is that heaven on earth?
Interesting story about depression. Since I was born I had low-level depression that never went away. I never asked God to heal me of it because I figured that was who I was, and it couldn’t change. So I lived my life without God, even with the depression, and managed to live a relatively normal life doing things, getting joy sometimes. Then one day it hit me that I was tired of the depression rearing its head and even though I was away from God and the Church for 25 years, I cried out to God to take it away! I remember distinctly it was a Wednesday. The next day, on Thursday I woke up and the dark cloud of gloom was gone, never to return.
, but I’m not. I know the difference. So God can take a person’s depression away, if he wants and it’s his will. Why did he take mine away? I don’t have a clue. My life didn’t improve much since that day other than the depression is gone. Now he has thrown a blockage my way and I don’t know why either.That gives me hope. Four years though! Nice to hear a story of someone living today who went through it and some good came out of it. Not to put down the story of Job, but sometimes you need to hear the story of someone actually living today.
God let’s us suffer because he wants to mold us into saints. Others may suffer internally, you may never know. I’m reminded of this apparition of St. Vitus, when he says, "Our Lord designates every Christian a martyr on earth, not one martyr is the same. God wants from some their blood and the others a martyrdom of suffering, anxiety and depression."
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