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Sneaux
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Did any of you go or send your kids to boarding school? What is your opinion on it? How do you feel about parents who do send their kids to boarding school?
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MarieHellen
Guest
My daughter sends my granddaughter to boarding school, and she sent my grandson to boarding school(he’s since graduated) My daughter sent them both so they could get a good education. It does more good than harm, it teaches kids RESPONSIBILITY.
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Viki63
Guest
I know nothing about boarding school, except that C.S.Lewis had a bad experience back around 1910. That doesn’t help much.
I just wonder why people would bother to have children if they don’t want to spend time with them. And wouldn’t the child wonder the same?
I just wonder why people would bother to have children if they don’t want to spend time with them. And wouldn’t the child wonder the same?
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MarieHellen
Guest
Children still have contact with home when they go to boarding school, and some if they live close to home, can go visit on weekends.
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SAVINGRACE
Guest
I went to a Catholic boarding school at aged 12-17 and loved it. I believe it made me more independent, more considerate of those around me, appreciative of my parents and extended family during the holidays and most importantly it taught me so much more about my faith.
There were kids there who hated it for a month but eventually settled in, there were kids who did not return after first term break and then we had a couple of runaways as well. I woke up one morning and my Aboriginal friend who I shared a cubicle with had run away during the night. They found her the next day in her community in Yarrabah 357kms away. Turns out a truckie gave her a lift and her grandma gave her a flogging and lectured her on the importance of a good education, she then called the school to pick her up. Poor thing, she had never been out of her community.
I don’t have a problem with parents who send their children to boarding school. My parents were middle class. Most of the parents I met were lovely people, many were middle income who scrimped and saved to send their child to that school and some were wealthy. My parents wanted the best start in life for us and mum refused to send us to a government school where in her view I would not get disciplined or taught about the faith properly.
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Mount_Carmel
Guest
Many moons ago I was a student at a BFES [British Forces Education Service] boarding school in (West) Germany, it was one of 3 there at that time. For a while it was co-ed {dorm accommodation was segregated], then a separate girls’ school was set up about 1.5 miles away.
There were some psychologically insecure kids who had a hard time away from their parents, but we did have regular ‘parent visiting weekends’.
The standard of education was pretty high and there was much to do in the evenings apart from prep/homework/pensum domi factum. We had of course a thriving Combined Cadet Force [CCF], and even had ‘our own’ artillery piece - a WWII 25 pounder gun/howitzer.
The place had been a German Army barracks during WWII, and while I was there some old spud basher grenades and some anti-tank ammo was unearthed and exploded by the Army Bomb disposal guys. It made quite a bang, rattling a lot of windows.
I quite enjoyed my time there.
Religious Education was on the carriculum and Jesuit priests would cater for Catholic education and religious Services.
There were some psychologically insecure kids who had a hard time away from their parents, but we did have regular ‘parent visiting weekends’.
The standard of education was pretty high and there was much to do in the evenings apart from prep/homework/pensum domi factum. We had of course a thriving Combined Cadet Force [CCF], and even had ‘our own’ artillery piece - a WWII 25 pounder gun/howitzer.
The place had been a German Army barracks during WWII, and while I was there some old spud basher grenades and some anti-tank ammo was unearthed and exploded by the Army Bomb disposal guys. It made quite a bang, rattling a lot of windows.
I quite enjoyed my time there.
Religious Education was on the carriculum and Jesuit priests would cater for Catholic education and religious Services.
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Mount_Carmel
Guest
Oops! Double post! 
Was attempting to correct a spelling mistake [curriculum - NOT carriculum] but the post was out of ‘time’.
Was attempting to correct a spelling mistake [curriculum - NOT carriculum] but the post was out of ‘time’.
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Santi2
Guest
I am a product of convent boarding school which I attended for 11 years from age 6-17. My faith and education are the legacies of my parents because of the sound Catholic formation and discipline under the nuns. We trooped to Chapel for daily Mass with the before breakfast and back again in the evening after study period and before supper. Life in a convent boarding school pre-Vatican II was like living in a religious community of aspirants. As we had Catechism and not the sort of RE schools promote now, boarders tended to turn out intuitively Catholic even at a young age.
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mountee
Guest
The main issue to me is why a particular school is chosen not the fact that a child was sent to boarding school. If there is an opportunity for a child to have a great education In a great environment and you can afford to do it then it probably is a wonderful opportunity. If you have a child with a problem some boarding schools can perform miracles for these type of kids. But, if you are sending just to avoid parenting or because it is a status thing then you probably should rethink your decision,
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Kindness
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Like so much in life the answer is “it depends”. It depends on the child, their personality, needs and psychological make-up, the reasons why they are being sent and the school itself. There are parents who are in the armed forces who are moved constantly (every year or two) and send their children to boarding school for stability, chance to make and keep friends and to receive an excellent education. I personally couldn’t imagine sending any child much younger than 13 to a boarding school but the circumstances of every family are different. My mother died when I was a young teen and my dad could not cope and was not parenting us. I would’ve LOVED to go to a good boarding school as I love to study and it would’ve given me a safe haven from chaos. However I turned out OK in the end thanks to God’s grace.
It’s common for aristocrats and über-wealthy in the UK to send their children to boarding school. Prince William and Harry both went to Eton the most expensive and exclusive private boarding school in England. However by Royal standards they were mixing with “commoners” as in the past Royalty were brought up by nannies and tutors separated from the rest of the world. So Diana and Charles were quite radical that way!
It’s common for aristocrats and über-wealthy in the UK to send their children to boarding school. Prince William and Harry both went to Eton the most expensive and exclusive private boarding school in England. However by Royal standards they were mixing with “commoners” as in the past Royalty were brought up by nannies and tutors separated from the rest of the world. So Diana and Charles were quite radical that way!
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Kindness
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Continuing on the Royal theme Prince Charles was also sent to boarding school, a tough and athletic style school in chilly Scotland which his father (Prince Philip, the Queens husband) thought would be the making of him. Charles is completely different from his macho, sporty dad however and was completely miserable. In this case, maybe a day school would have been better or a boarding school that was carefully chosen to match Charles’ personality. Instead he was bullied.
William and Harry are much more like their grandad in interests and strength of personality than their dad.
There are some very famous Catholic boarding schools in the UK such as Downside and Worth Abbey.
(I’m British BTW!)
William and Harry are much more like their grandad in interests and strength of personality than their dad.
There are some very famous Catholic boarding schools in the UK such as Downside and Worth Abbey.
(I’m British BTW!)
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
There used to be quite a problem with hazing and bullying in many of these schools. Especially the ones overseas. But by now, I would hope much of that has been eradicated, although I would still say that children will always find a way to be cruel to other children.
Most boarding schools here in the US do not focus on “fixing” bad kids, but advertise that they want the most dedicated students. They call themselves “academies” and you won’t see any mention of delinquency on their websites. They are $$$$$ in the extreme, can be up to $30K and beyond a YEAR. There are a few Catholic residential schools, one being Subiaco Academy in Arkansas. I have never visited the facility but did communicate with them a few times, and had it not been for the dietary accommodation problem, might have considered sending our son there. They are not as expensive as the private academies, they are run by fraternal brothers.
I think being in a boarding school at an early age damages the relationship between the parents and the child. How could it not? The child is there and has no access to his/her parents except on weekends. He has to learn to cope with feelings on his own, or push them aside in order to survive. When he cries, he may be bullied for that. If he’s not athletic or particularly talented, he could be harassed.
All in all, I’d study the situation very carefully before making that decision. A lot depends upon the school and the child/teen. Obviously a teenager would be a lot better equipped to stay away from parents.
Most boarding schools here in the US do not focus on “fixing” bad kids, but advertise that they want the most dedicated students. They call themselves “academies” and you won’t see any mention of delinquency on their websites. They are $$$$$ in the extreme, can be up to $30K and beyond a YEAR. There are a few Catholic residential schools, one being Subiaco Academy in Arkansas. I have never visited the facility but did communicate with them a few times, and had it not been for the dietary accommodation problem, might have considered sending our son there. They are not as expensive as the private academies, they are run by fraternal brothers.
I think being in a boarding school at an early age damages the relationship between the parents and the child. How could it not? The child is there and has no access to his/her parents except on weekends. He has to learn to cope with feelings on his own, or push them aside in order to survive. When he cries, he may be bullied for that. If he’s not athletic or particularly talented, he could be harassed.
All in all, I’d study the situation very carefully before making that decision. A lot depends upon the school and the child/teen. Obviously a teenager would be a lot better equipped to stay away from parents.
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
In my view there’s plenty of time for that in college. Teens need to be parented, and weekend and holiday visits do not constitute parenting.
I think the idea of sending your child away without an extremely good reason is sad. IMO an extremely good reason would be that the child has such a behavior problem that they are jeopardizing the health, safety, or future of themselves or others, or that the family environment has become unsafe or unstable for the child. In which case the child should only be sent away until those problems are rectified.
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SAVINGRACE
Guest
What makes you think that just because parents send their children to boarding school that they give up all parenting responsibilities or are bad parents. That is the most ludicrous statement I have heard. It takes a village to raise a child. Sure it starts with the parents but the education community has a role to play as well as the general community and in our case the Church and our faith played a huge role in that decision. My parents were not helicopter parents, we were mostly free range kids and by the time we were 12 they knew they had laid strong foundations.
Some of my high school friends stayed with their parents in my hometown to attend a government high school. They would go out partying, miss school with no follow up from the school, drink alcohol and have sex. They started hanging out with the wrong types and their stressed out parents would confide in my parents. My parents knew that we were safe in a disciplined and controlled environment. They knew the roll would be called every class without fail and if someone was missing, the school would find out why immediately. They knew our homework would be supervised by people who knew what trigonometry was
and could assist. And just like in our family home, they knew boarding house mistresses made sure we ate 3 well balanced meals a day and that we were not allowed to eat junkfood. They knew we would get caned if we did something really really stupid. 
I know that is not always the case for every boarding school but parents have to take calculated risks and just because it doesn’t agree with your views, it does not make them bad parents.
I went to boarding school at 12 for the sole reason that my parents wanted me to have the best education possible and to learn more about the Catholic faith and receive discipline as well as learn to be disciplined. We volunteered at local senior homes and for Rosies canteen for the homeless.
The government schools will not or cannot provide that. In my neck of the woods the academic results has consistently proven that boarding schools are better for as long as I can remember. All of my boarding school mates and myself went on to University and are professionals all around Australia and the world.
Additionally, and this is a very important point the government schools do not provide Catholic religious education.
The most important things I learned at Catholic boarding school was how to cope, take responsibility, always have a plan and obey the Church.
Being taught coping mechanisms, how to cope with stress, love, responsibility, failure, rejection, death, loneliness, unemployment etc
Take responsibility for making your bed, health, being clean, presentable, for your actions or lack of, caring for others, how your actions affect others.
Having a life plan, don’t stumble through life, living off others or living from paycheck to paycheck and wonder why things are not going your way. Plan your life. Sure sometimes things happen but then you can always review that plan. My parents started that plan by giving me the best upbringing and education and I built on that.
Obey the Church and you cannot go wrong. However hard it may seem at times.
I have fantastic parents, they were involved, communicative, loving and responsible. My best friend at school lived on a cattle station (ranch in American speak) hundreds of kilometres from the nearest school, her parents sent to board and they were wonderful people. We also had students from distant rural Aboriginal communities who would come to board as well as lots of international students from Asia and the Pacific Islands who valued a good education.
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SAVINGRACE
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BlueEyedLady
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Some of my high school friends stayed with their parents in my hometown to attend a government high school. They would go out partying, miss school with no follow up from the school, drink alcohol and have sex. So what you’re saying is that your high school friends didn’t have involved, concerned, responsible, good parents. They started hanging out with the wrong types and their stressed out parents would confide in my parents. Rather than talking to your parents maybe they should have taken an interest in their children? My parents knew that we were safe in a disciplined and controlled environment. They knew the roll would be called every class without fail and if someone was missing, the school would find out why immediately. Most public and I would imagine private schools as well do the same thing. They knew our homework would be supervised by people who knew what trigonometry was
I know that is not always the case for every boarding school but parents have to take calculated risks and just because it doesn’t agree with your views, it does not make them bad parents. Bad? Maybe not. Misguided? Possibly. Lazy? Good chance.
I went to boarding school at 12 for the sole reason that my parents wanted me to have the best education possible and to learn more about the Catholic faith and receive discipline as well as learn to be disciplined. And that really does seem like their job. We volunteered at local senior homes and for Rosies canteen for the homeless. Your point? I volunteered a lot in high school, my mother wouldn’t have had it any other way.
The government schools will not or cannot provide that. Nope, because it’s the job of the parents. In my neck of the woods the academic results has consistently proven that boarding schools are better for as long as I can remember. All of my boarding school mates and myself went on to University and are professionals all around Australia and the world. Ok, if you’re in Australia we may have different perspectives on public schools. I’m speaking for a United States perspective. In my high school most of the qualified students and even some that weren’t went on to college and are now starting lucrative careers. The school doesn’t determine whether or not someone goes to college, that comes from what the kid wants and what values their parents have instilled and what they have motivated and encouraged them to do.
Additionally, and this is a very important point the government schools do not provide Catholic religious education. Here in the US private Catholic schools are a dime a dozen in towns with more than 15,000 people.
The most important things I learned at Catholic boarding school was how to cope, take responsibility, always have a plan and obey the Church. Parents couldn’t teach this?
Being taught coping mechanisms, how to cope with stress, love, responsibility, failure, rejection, death, loneliness, unemployment etc Parents?!?!?!
Take responsibility for making your bed, health, being clean, presentable, for your actions or lack of, caring for others, how your actions affect others. I know it’s been my standard response, but PARENTS!!!
Having a life plan, don’t stumble through life, living off others or living from paycheck to paycheck and wonder why things are not going your way. Plan your life. Sure sometimes things happen but then you can always review that plan. My parents started that plan by giving me the best upbringing and education and I built on that. It is not a school’s job to teach that, parents need to do it.
Obey the Church and you cannot go wrong. However hard it may seem at times. If there’s anything that is a parent’s responsibility more than anyone else’s it’s religious upbringing.
I have fantastic parents, they were involved, communicative, loving and responsible. My best friend at school lived on a cattle station (ranch in American speak) hundreds of kilometres from the nearest school, her parents sent to board and they were wonderful people. Obviously if there is not another suitable option within a reasonable distance that’s an extenuating circumstance. It’s certainly better than attending school via TV where there would be a lack of socialization. We also had students from distant rural Aboriginal communities who would come to board as well as lots of international students from Asia and the Pacific Islands who valued a good education.
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
The only thing that I see being a benefit to boarding schools in most circumstances (barring no schools in a reasonable distance, etc) is better educational standards. But there is all the time in the world for rigorous academics, and during a child’s teen and preteen years there is a lot to be said for the ability to come home after school to a loving family, to build and make memories with them, to experience impromptu dinner with the grandparents, to spend time just chatting with mom, to work alongside your parents and learn skills from them, to discuss mundane parts of the day as well as share values and worldviews. There is just no substitute for good parents.
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dixieagle
Guest
I agree completely with this.
In some countries it is much more common for children to be sent to boarding school, and is in no way considered unusual. In the US, it is not as common. While I imagine most parents who choose boarding school have perfectly good reasons for doing so, and love their children very much, I just couldn’t have parted with my girls like that.
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Allegra
Guest
The only experience I have with boarding school is my cousin who is deaf and was sent to another state to attend a boarding school that doesn’t allow students to have cochlear implants. Curiously enough, my aunt was sent to my hometown to board in a school for the deaf and she hated it and actively resents the school to this day. Apparently she blames her unhappiness on cochlear implants and not on being away from her family. I can’t say I’m impressed with the results of the school my cousin attended. He’s a grown man but he can’t even order food for himself in a restaurant or ask a store clerk where the restroom is. His writing is completely unintelligible, though his mother claims he got very high grades in English.
The only other people I know who attended boarding school did so for only a year or two in high school and it was either a school overseas or a special music school. They seemed to enjoy the experience, in those cases, though based on their stories, I don’t think those schools had the same stringent discipline requirements as some of the schools others have described in this thread.
The only other people I know who attended boarding school did so for only a year or two in high school and it was either a school overseas or a special music school. They seemed to enjoy the experience, in those cases, though based on their stories, I don’t think those schools had the same stringent discipline requirements as some of the schools others have described in this thread.
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SAVINGRACE
Guest
. So what you’re saying is that your high school friends didn’t have involved, concerned, responsible, good parents. No you inferred it. I merely stated facts concerning friends who attended government schools.They started hanging out with the wrong types and their stressed out parents would confide in my parents. Rather than talking to your parents maybe they should have taken an interest in their children? How do you know they didn’t show an interest in or talk to their children. You are making assumptions.
public and I would imagine private schools as well do the same thing. Um no, we have a lot of children in government schools who skip school. Several of my co-workers have found out their child missed school when they received their attendance record at the end of term. They knew our homework would be supervised by people who knew what trigonometry was and could assist. Funny, my mom just made sure that I had a qualified tutor when I took advanced classes that I needed extra help in." Good for you. What works for some parents does not necessarily work for others. Doesn’t necessarily mean they are bad or lazy parents
s. Bad? Maybe not. Misguided? Possibly. Lazy? Good chance. I know that without a doubt. Still making assumptions I see. All parents who send their children are lazy. You have conducted your own research to support this viewpoint? Visited every home of a boarding school parent over a period of time and know without a doubt that they are lazy? Please provide your source for this research?
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Additionally, and this is a very important point the government schools do not provide Catholic religious education. Here in the US private Catholic schools are a dime a dozen in towns with more than 15,000 people. We don’t live in America.
The most important things I learned at Catholic boarding school was how to cope, take responsibility, always have a plan and obey the Church. Parents couldn’t teach this?
Being taught coping mechanisms, how to cope with stress, love, responsibility, failure, rejection, death, loneliness, unemployment etc Parents?!?!?!
Take responsibility for making your bed, health, being clean, presentable, for your actions or lack of, caring for others, how your actions affect others. I know it’s been my standard response, but PARENTS!!! My parents instilled it in the foundations I spoke of earlier and the school consolidated upon it. Calm down there is no need to yell.
Having a life plan, don’t stumble through life, living off others or living from paycheck to paycheck and wonder why things are not going your way. Plan your life. Sure sometimes things happen but then you can always review that plan. My parents started that plan by giving me the best upbringing and education and I built on that. It is not a school’s job to teach that, parents need to do it. It’s a joint effort, parents, school, church and community, what I didn’t learn from my parents the school and others above filled in. Do you have children? I’m sensing from your posts that you don’t. Parents only want the best education for their children and if it’s a boarding school in a another city and they can afford it, why not? I don’t see how that somehow makes them a bad or lazy parent.
Obey the Church and you cannot go wrong. However hard it may seem at times. If there’s anything that is a parent’s responsibility more than anyone else’s it’s religious upbringing.
Again it’s a shared responsibility, my Godparents shared most of this load until I started boarding school. Not sure if you are aware Godparents play a vital and primary role in the religious life of a Catholic child. My parents discussed and visited the boarding school with my Godparents and it was my Godparents who paid for my uniforms. The oldies paid boarding fees and Tuition fees. And once at school the nuns took most of the religious education on.
I have fantastic parents, they were involved, communicative, loving and responsible. My best friend at school lived on a cattle station (ranch in American speak) hundreds of kilometres from the nearest school, her parents sent to board and they were wonderful people. Obviously if there is not another suitable option within a reasonable distance that’s an extenuating circumstance. It’s certainly better than attending school via TV where there would be a lack of socialization. We also have a School of the Air for outback kids. They talk to their teacher via a two way radio or over Skype depending on their internet reception.
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