Boarding school

[hsmomforlife]

The only experience I have with boarding school is my cousin who is deaf and was sent to another state to attend a boarding school that doesn’t allow students to have cochlear implants. Curiously enough, my aunt was sent to my hometown to board in a school for the deaf and she hated it and actively resents the school to this day. Apparently she blames her unhappiness on cochlear implants and not on being away from her family. I can’t say I’m impressed with the results of the school my cousin attended. He’s a grown man but he can’t even order food for himself in a restaurant or ask a store clerk where the restroom is. His writing is completely unintelligible, though his mother claims he got very high grades in English.

The only other people I know who attended boarding school did so for only a year or two in high school and it was either a school overseas or a special music school. They seemed to enjoy the experience, in those cases, though based on their stories, I don’t think those schools had the same stringent discipline requirements as some of the schools others have described in this thread.

I’m confused…your cousin who is deaf was sent to another state to attend a boarding school that doesn’t allow students to have cochlear implants? Does your cousin have cochlear implants? What’s the importance of the school not allowing cochlear implants?

Is the aunt that was sent to boarding school in your hometown the mother of your deaf cousin? So the aunt who went to boarding school has cochlear implants?

Sorry, either I’m really tired (which is entirely possible!) or there are some details that need to be filled in for this to make sense…(ignore me if it’s the former…)

 

[SAVINGRACE]

Response to Blueyed lady. So what you’re saying is that your high school friends didn’t have involved, concerned, responsible, good parents. No you inferred it. I merely stated facts concerning friends who attended government schools.They started hanging out with the wrong types and their stressed out parents would confide in my parents. Rather than talking to your parents maybe they should have taken an interest in their children? Teens don’t always do as their parents ask. Being a parent is the toughest job in the world and you do the best you can and try to provide for them the best you can. How do you know they didn’t show an interest in or talk to their children. You are making assumptions.

public and I would imagine private schools as well do the same thing. Um no, we have a lot of children in government schools who skip school. Several of my co-workers have found out their child missed school when they received their attendance record at the end of term. They knew our homework would be supervised by people who knew what trigonometry was and could assist. Funny, my mom just made sure that I had a qualified tutor when I took advanced classes that I needed extra help in." Good for you. What works for some parents does not necessarily work for others. Doesn’t necessarily mean they are bad or lazy parents

s. Bad? Maybe not. Misguided? Possibly. Lazy? Good chance. I know that without a doubt. Still making assumptions I see. All parents who send their children to boarding school are lazy? You have conducted your own research to support this viewpoint? Visited every home of a boarding school parent over a period of time and know without a doubt that they are lazy? Please provide your source for this research?
.

Additionally, and this is a very important point the government schools do not provide Catholic religious education. Here in the US private Catholic schools are a dime a dozen in towns with more than 15,000 people. We don’t live in America.

The most important things I learned at Catholic boarding school was how to cope, take responsibility, always have a plan and obey the Church. Parents couldn’t teach this?

Being taught coping mechanisms, how to cope with stress, love, responsibility, failure, rejection, death, loneliness, unemployment etc Parents?!?!?!

Take responsibility for making your bed, health, being clean, presentable, for your actions or lack of, caring for others, how your actions affect others. I know it’s been my standard response, but PARENTS!!! My parents instilled it in the foundations I spoke of earlier and the school consolidated upon it. Calm down there is no need to yell.

Having a life plan, don’t stumble through life, living off others or living from paycheck to paycheck and wonder why things are not going your way. Plan your life. Sure sometimes things happen but then you can always review that plan. My parents started that plan by giving me the best upbringing and education and I built on that. It is not a school’s job to teach that, parents need to do it. It’s a joint effort, parents, school, church and community, what I didn’t learn from my parents the school and others above filled in. Do you have children? I’m sensing from your posts that you don’t. Parents only want the best education for their children and if it’s a boarding school in a another city and they can afford it, why not? I don’t see how that somehow makes them a bad or lazy parent.

Obey the Church and you cannot go wrong. However hard it may seem at times. If there’s anything that is a parent’s responsibility more than anyone else’s it’s religious upbringing.
Again it’s a shared responsibility, my Godparents shared most of this load until I started boarding school. Not sure if you are aware Godparents play a vital and primary role in the religious life of a Catholic child. My parents discussed and visited the boarding school with my Godparents and it was my Godparents who paid for my uniforms. The oldies paid boarding fees and Tuition fees. And once at school the nuns took most of the religious education on. Our local parish community and Priest were also involved.

I have fantastic parents, they were involved, communicative, loving and responsible. My best friend at school lived on a cattle station (ranch in American speak) hundreds of kilometres from the nearest school, her parents sent to board and they were wonderful people. Obviously if there is not another suitable option within a reasonable distance that’s an extenuating circumstance. It’s certainly better than attending school via TV where there would be a lack of socialization. We also have a School of the Air for outback kids. They talk to their teacher via a two way radio or over Skype depending on their internet reception.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Teens need to be parented, and weekend and holiday visits do not constitute parenting.

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I agree. If because of the parents job or where they live, there is no other option then of course I am all for sending kids to boarding school. But I just can not imagine sending a child under 13 to a boarding school for no other reason. I think it takes time for a bond to develop and that is by living in the same house 7 days a week. Now that my dad has pass, I cherish the time he would be laying on the couch sleeping while I watch TV. Just being in the same room is priceless memories.

As for teenager, I do think they are better equipped to handle boarding school, but again, it does take away from the opportunity to be parented by mom and dad. Again, there needs to be a good reason to send them away, but the requires are more relaxed as to what a good reason is after 13.

Looking back, I am grateful I was not never in a boarding school. I would have HATED to have to tell a nun (instead of my mom) that I just got my period for the first time. I would have hated to have to wash my bras in public instead of the privacy of my own home.

Angie

 

[SAVINGRACE]

I agree. If because of the parents job or where they live, there is no other option then of course I am all for sending kids to boarding school. But I just can not imagine sending a child under 13 to a boarding school for no other reason. I think it takes time for a bond to develop and that is by living in the same house 7 days a week. Now that my dad has pass, I cherish the time he would be laying on the couch sleeping while I watch TV. Just being in the same room is priceless memories.

As for teenager, I do think they are better equipped to handle boarding school, but again, it does take away from the opportunity to be parented by mom and dad. Again, there needs to be a good reason to send them away, but the requires are more relaxed as to what a good reason is after 13.

Looking back, I am grateful I was not never in a boarding school. I would have HATED to have to tell a nun (instead of my mom) that I just got my period for the first time. I would have hated to have to wash my bras in public instead of the privacy of my own home.

Angie

I loved boarding school but then I started boarding at 12yo. It was one of the best times of my life. I had all these older and younger sisters to talk to and help. I talked to my Senior House Prefect when I got my first period but mum had already given me the talk and I have 5 older sisters so I was good to go.

I think under 12 is too young. I used feel sorry for the little 5 year olds. I don’t think I would have coped at that young an age.

 

[Anglewannabe]

I loved boarding school but then I started boarding at 12yo. It was one of the best times of my life. I had all these older and younger sisters to talk to and help. I talked to my Senior House Prefect when I got my first period but mum had already given me the talk and I have 5 older sisters so I was good to go.

I think under 12 is too young. I used feel sorry for the little 5 year olds. I don’t think I would have coped at that young an age.

In your case it was obviously a very positive experience so that is great.

I knew what a period was years before I got one, but still, I am glad I was able to tell my mom about it when it happened. There are certain things, I am grateful I got to share with her.

Also, I think the term ‘boarding school’ is very broad. What I mean is there are probably some excellent ones (like the one you went to) and there are probably some really bad ones

 

[Allegra]

I’m confused…your cousin who is deaf was sent to another state to attend a boarding school that doesn’t allow students to have cochlear implants? Does your cousin have cochlear implants? What’s the importance of the school not allowing cochlear implants?

Is the aunt that was sent to boarding school in your hometown the mother of your deaf cousin? So the aunt who went to boarding school has cochlear implants?

Sorry, either I’m really tired (which is entirely possible!) or there are some details that need to be filled in for this to make sense…(ignore me if it’s the former…)

The aunt is the mother of the cousin. She does not have cochlear implants. (They would do her no good. She doesn’t have functioning cochlea.) The students in her school were allowed and encouraged to have them if they were candidates for them. She feels cochlear implants steal deaf childrens’ “deafness”, so my cousin doesn’t have them. (I don’t know if he is even a candidate.) She didn’t want him attending a school where cochlear implants are allowed and she doens’t think deaf children should be bothered with learning to speak properly. (Which is strange to me because she’s reaped the benefits of being able to speak and write her entire life.) If you are still confused, don’t feel bad. She’s been confusing the family her whole life.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

The aunt is the mother of the cousin. She does not have cochlear implants. (They would do her no good. She doesn’t have functioning cochlea.) The students in her school were allowed and encouraged to have them if they were candidates for them. She feels cochlear implants steal deaf childrens’ “deafness”, so my cousin doesn’t have them. (I don’t know if he is even a candidate.) She didn’t want him attending a school where cochlear implants are allowed and she doens’t think deaf children should be bothered with learning to speak properly. (Which is strange to me because she’s reaped the benefits of being able to speak and write her entire life.) If you are still confused, don’t feel bad. She’s been confusing the family her whole life.

I have heard that there is a sort of “deaf separatism” movement - like a type of militancy about being deaf. They don’t want to join the hearing world and feel that their deafness is part of what makes them unique. I think they would prefer that the hearing world learn to sign in order to communicate with them, rather than learn to speak and interact with the hearing world.

 

[Et_Cetera]

I know nothing about boarding school, except that C.S.Lewis had a bad experience back around 1910. That doesn’t help much.
I just wonder why people would bother to have children if they don’t want to spend time with them. And wouldn’t the child wonder the same?

I think it’s a little unkind to assume that is the motivation for boarding school. Many boarding schools provide a great education and give one many opportunities. I didn’t go to one, but I have friends who did. As with many things in life, some really enjoyed the experience while others did not. It depends on the individual student and the school in question.

It’s different if you force a child to go to one against their will.

Edit: I also think that children shouldn’t be sent when they’re very young, but everyone is different with different ideals, and so I try not to judge.

 

[MarieHellen]

I loved boarding school but then I started boarding at 12yo. It was one of the best times of my life. I had all these older and younger sisters to talk to and help. I talked to my Senior House Prefect when I got my first period but mum had already given me the talk and I have 5 older sisters so I was good to go.

I think under 12 is too young. I used feel sorry for the little 5 year olds. I don’t think I would have coped at that young an age.

I agree with you, my grandkids LOVE(D) it. I see nothing wrong with boarding school, I KNOW my daughter is a good mother. My granddaughter was 13 when she went, and had already gotten her first period, so she knew what to do. I do sympathize with other young girls in that aspect though. I think people are too quick to make assumptions, I made assumptions when my daughter first brought it up, but seeing how much the grandkids love it, I learned that life at boarding school isn’t miserable for kids.

 

[katolsk]

I went to an all boys catholic boarding school. For me it was great, but my parents were so-so at best. As parents. I would never send my kids to one because I want to be with them every day and parent them. Plus there were a few circumstances of sexual abuse by the monks, serious abuse. I would never send a kid to palace where that would be a possibility.

 

[mafh]

I have heard that there is a sort of “deaf separatism” movement - like a type of militancy about being deaf. They don’t want to join the hearing world and feel that their deafness is part of what makes them unique. I think they would prefer that the hearing world learn to sign in order to communicate with them, rather than learn to speak and interact with the hearing world.

A late friend of mine, who was blind, told me that the same phenomenon exists among the visually-impaired. There is a whole blind subculture, apparently, and the community takes a lot of pride in how well they get on without vision.

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

Boarding school saved me. I truely believe I would be in prison/dead if my Dad didn’t send me to a boarding school. I am grateful my father had the resources to send me there. I am grateful my father forgave me and loved me enough to find a place that would socialize me where he could not. I wish I did not rebelle as fierce as I did, and hope for mercy & forgivness even today.