Book recommendation / Logistics of end of life care

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2towers

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Hi everyone.

Three or four weeks ago, my Dad had a heart attack. While checking him out the Doctors found what turned out to be Metastasized 3rd stage Adeno carcinoma lung cancer. My mom has parkinsons, blind, diabetic, and can barley walk.

They live in Virginia, I live in Atlanta. I was wondering if anyone knew of a book, that might be helpful all the messy logistics. Choosing a nursing home, closing down the house and or selling it. I am the executor, and POA.

So if anyone can reccomend a book, that would be very helpful and appreciated.

PS: there are so many issues coming, it seems daunting. Taking over the paying bills, handling the vast sea of medications my mother takes, and doing most of this from long distance. So logistics will be everything.
 
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I’m sorry to hear about your parents. I don’t know of any books, but I would recommend contacting someone near you who would have resources to offer. A start might be calling Comfort Keepers in Atlanta, (404) 303-5113 or a similar company. If they don’t have info, they might know who to call in Virginia.
I also suggest keeping good notes on everything, with dates. It’s hard to remember everything even though you think it would be impossible to forget.
God bless.
 
Thank you so much, this is the kind of thing I looking for, something with resources and ideas.
 
You might also want to call the Virginia Ombudsman office and see if they can give you any suggestions or guidance: http://elderrightsva.org/

I remember my aunt contacting the one in New Hampshire with regards to my elderly grandparents who were both suffering from dementia and she said that it was very helpful.
 
Sorry to hear about your parents. I went through this with my mother in 2015 and it was very stressful.

Depending on how long the doctors think your father may have to live, would it be feasible to relocate your parents to an assisted living or nursing home near you? Or do they have friends at their location who would be willing to relay information to you?

It sounds like you may be able to have Hospice help take care of your father. They are great people to work with and Medicare pays for them.

I found it was less expensive to hire caregivers for my mother in my home vs. relocating her to assisted living.

There are people called Aging Life Care Managers who you can hire to help manage things from a long distance. No idea how much they charge.

One thing to be aware of is that medical care for the elderly has changed drastically and many doctors will not offer much treatment, including basic care such as hydration and appropriate nutrition. Doctors may or may not make decisions without your (name removed by moderator)ut regardless of your POA.

You may want to look at the Catholic Bioethics website for the Catholics Guide to End-of-Life Decisions.
 
I don’t have any experience in this area, but I would think it might also be worth contacting your parish to see if they know of resources or if there is a good person at your parish who is versed in these matters.

I will pray for you and your parents.
 
Thank you so much for your suggestions. If they say he has six months or less, he will be eligible for hospice.
 
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