Books on Chastity For Obstinate College-Aged Catholic

[DulcisAncilla]

I’m uncertain if Family Life is the most appropriate forum for this query, but I’ve read and benefitted from many threads regarding chastity, dating, and pre-marital sexual experiences here, so I value the contributions of those who post in this forum, and would appreciate some help.

I am seeking recommendations for books and other materials to send to a confirmed Catholic who is not currently attending church or receiving the sacraments, nor is she very well catechized. Said Catholic is 23 and in a dating relationship that is like most dating relationships in secular society, specifically in that it is not related to the idea of preparing for, or evaluating one’s calling to, marriage…but I want to wake her up to her feminine dignity, the sacredness of sex, the logical consequences of pre-marital intimacy, the church’s teachings on contraception, etc.

Can you suggest any concise, impactful, Catholic books on these subjects - something in the vein of Crystallina Evert’s Pure Womanhood (which is just a slim booklet)? I would like to gift her a book this Lenten season to really challenge her in this area of her life. I feel so blessed to have culled an understanding of these Catholic teachings from innumerable sources over several years, but she needs things conveyed in a direct and unflinching manner, and I think a single source would be ideal (and testimonies would be most beneficial).

Thank you for any recommendations and insight you can give!

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I liked this book a lot.

Every Young Woman’s Battle

It does not include a lot of testimonies, but it’s got a lot of really good information for young women to consider.

It is not as gritty and graphic as the corollary book for young men.

Edited: It is not specifically Catholic, but as you said this young woman is not receiving the sacraments, she might relate to it a little more easily.

 

[PaulGH]

My wife is currently reading this one, that might be along the lines of what you are looking for, if the young lady you mentioned would be receptive to reading it:

Extreme Makeover: Women Transformed by Christ, Not Conformed to the Culture, by Teresa Tomeo

I think it covers more than just chastity, but it appears that it covers chastity as part of a bigger picture. (But having said that, I have not actually read the book.)

 

[kbachler]

I liked this book a lot.

Every Young Woman’s Battle

It does not include a lot of testimonies, but it’s got a lot of really good information for young women to consider.

It is not as gritty and graphic as the corollary book for young men.

I don’t mean to be rude by asking this question - but if there is an Obstinate College-Aged Catholic - well, is she going to read this book? Aren’t non-judgemental discussions a better approach?

(Sorry if it seems like I’m picking on Juliane not the OP - I’ve just respected a lot of her posts in the past so I wanted to hear what she has to say about it.)

 

[BlueEyedLady]

If she’s 23, seriously dating, and making her own decisions chances are she won’t read a book about why its wrong.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I don’t mean to be rude by asking this question - but if there is an Obstinate College-Aged Catholic - well, is she going to read this book? Aren’t non-judgemental discussions a better approach?

(Sorry if it seems like I’m picking on Juliane not the OP - I’ve just respected a lot of her posts in the past so I wanted to hear what she has to say about it.)

No, that is a valid point. OP, when you say this young lady is “obstinate,” do you mean that you have spoken to her about this in the past, and she does not respond well to you? If that is the case, then she is not likely to accept a book on the same subject.

I really wish I could speak directly to young women, and hopefully reach a few of them, but it is hard to save people when they don’t know they need rescuing. Society gives people so many wrong messages - that sex is good for them, that birth control works and is harmless, that they “deserve” to have fun and have no consequences from sex outside marriage, that there’s no harm in consensual sex. All I can say, is that having been through the experience, I wish to God someone had cared enough to stop me from trading sex for what I thought was love.

 

[Castello]

amazon.com/Privilege-Being-Woman-Alice-Hildebrand/dp/097061067X

I would also see if there is a good group on her campus, something line FOCUS or Theology on Tap or the Dead Theologians Society.

 

[StJudePray4Me]

I don’t mean to be rude by asking this question - but if there is an Obstinate College-Aged Catholic - well, is she going to read this book? Aren’t non-judgemental discussions a better approach?

(Sorry if it seems like I’m picking on Juliane not the OP - I’ve just respected a lot of her posts in the past so I wanted to hear what she has to say about it.)

I am with you on this…and I would add the question: what is the relationship between the OP and the student? Family, friend, peer? It seems relevant to me… If the girl is the OPers daughter, granddaughter, niece, I would think you would approach it one way; if she is a school friend, an RA, the friend of her little sister…well, that’s a different story.

 

[cmscms]

I too am of the opinion the relationship the OP has with this 23 yrd old would determine how to proceed. If she is your niece and her parents see nothing wrong with her behaviour, then sending her a book is melding at best.

And if she is obsitnate, sending her a book will appear to be passive agressive to her and leave a really bad taste in her mouth and give her more reason to not want to be Catholic.

I think more detail is needed before being able to advise how to proceed

Cm