Boredom and ennui in life

  • Thread starter Thread starter doglover2
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Thanks Easter I will read my Bible more and pray more and also not dwell on my thoughts. I’m actually doing pretty well today, bored but not dwelling on bad stuff. I enjoy cooking healthy food and I go to the gym weekly.

Jmcrae I will ask around about how one can volunteer in Taiwan. Easter yes you’re right doing 1 thing a day is easier. I can help a woman to walk her dog I think that is a good way to start actually.
 
Thanks Easter I will read my Bible more and pray more and also not dwell on my thoughts. I’m actually doing pretty well today, bored but not dwelling on bad stuff. I enjoy cooking healthy food and I go to the gym weekly.

Jmcrae I will ask around about how one can volunteer in Taiwan. Easter yes you’re right doing 1 thing a day is easier. I can help a woman to walk her dog I think that is a good way to start actually.
Good luck with getting out of yourself a bit. Depression can creep up on you and you should look for help if you don’t feel on top of your ennui soon. It is not healthy.
From your other post, I wouldn’t give up on men just yet. I still believe you have an unrealistic view of the poor old things. God Bless!
 
Why have you given up on relationships? :confused:
Nevermind, just noticed you have another thread on that subject… :rolleyes:

Ontopic:

Well, when im bored it helps to do something creative or active. Try a sport, paint a painting, maybe you’ll like it and stick to it.

Ever thought about designing your own fashion?

“Doing things differently leads to something exceptional” 👍
 
Thanks Easter I will read my Bible more and pray more and also not dwell on my thoughts. I’m actually doing pretty well today, bored but not dwelling on bad stuff. I enjoy cooking healthy food and I go to the gym weekly.

Jmcrae I will ask around about how one can volunteer in Taiwan. Easter yes you’re right doing 1 thing a day is easier. I can help a woman to walk her dog I think that is a good way to start actually.
Yes, helping someone to walk her dog is a good idea! You not only do her a favor, but you get time with her pet and some gentle exercise and fresh air for yourself. If you like dogs, time spent outdoors with a dog who is enjoying it has this way of making the world seem like a better place!! 👍
 
Petaro, God bless you too and everyone on this forum, THANK YOU! I am actually doing okay, I think the main reason I was feeling depressed was that I felt like “well my life would be so much less boring if there was a man in it so I’m really missingo ut” now I’m still bored but because I accept that it’s my choice to not have a man in it and that this is the way things are, I’m not as painfully bored and depressed as I was feeling, maybe I was feeling self pity which caused me to be unhappy. It somehow works out that way with my brain xD

Hehe Phalanx thanks for reading my other thread xD Good idea, I’m planning to join some stuff with a meetup group that involves going to different places in Taiwan or a restaurant, I would enjoy that. I’ve redone my 5-year fashion strategy so instead of buying the jeans I mentioned I’m going to get a blouse from Versace that just appeared on their website yesterday. I hope it’s available in stores as I don’t feel comfortable buying things online.

Thank you Easter you’re right! Walking dogs is something I enjoy and does not seem like a chore to me 🙂
 
…the main reason I was feeling depressed was that I felt like “well my life would be so much less boring if there was a man in it so I’m really missingo ut” now I’m still bored but because I accept that it’s my choice to not have a man in it and that this is the way things are, I’m not as painfully bored and depressed as I was feeling, maybe I was feeling self pity which caused me to be unhappy. It somehow works out that way with my brain…
This is an excellent “reverse” sort of meditation on how living in the future can be used against both happiness and holiness. It is taken from C.S. Lewis’ The Screwtape Letters; if you don’t know this very clever book, the premise is built on a senior demon explaining to a younger one how to handle a soul they are trying to lure away from God.

I’ll post it presently…
 
*MY DEAR WORMWOOD,

I had noticed, of course, that the humans were having a lull in their European war - what they naively call “The War”! - and am not surprised that there is a corresponding lull in the patient’s anxieties. Do we want to encourage this, or to keep him worried? Tortured fear and stupid confidence are both desirable states of mind. Our choice between them raises important questions.

The humans live in time but our Enemy destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the Present. For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experience which our Enemy has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered them. He would therefore have them continually concerned either with eternity (which means being concerned with Him) or with the Present - either meditating on their eternal union with, or separation from, Himself, or else obeying the present voice of conscience, bearing the present cross, receiving the present grace, giving thanks for the present pleasure.

Our business is to get them away from the eternal, and from the Present. With this in view, we sometimes tempt a human (say a widow or a scholar) to live in the Past. But this is of limited value, for they have some real knowledge of the past and it has a determinate nature and, to that extent, resembles eternity . . . It is far better to make them live in the Future. Biological necessity makes all their passions point in that direction already, so that thought about the Future inflames hope and fear. Also, it is unknown to them, so that in making them think about it we make them think of unrealities. In a word, the Future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity. It is the most completely temporal part of time - for the Past is frozen and no longer flows, and the Present is all lit up with eternal rays. Hence the encouragement we have given to all those schemes of thought such as Creative Evolution, Scientific Humanism, or Communism, which fix men’s affections on the Future, on the very core of temporality. Hence nearly all vices are rooted in the future. Gratitude looks to the past and love to the present; fear, avarice, lust, and ambition look ahead. Do not think lust an exception. When the present pleasure arrives, the sin (which alone interests us) is already over. The pleasure is just the part of the process which we regret and would exclude if we could do so without losing the sin; it is the part contributed by the Enemy, and therefore experienced in a Present. The sin, which is our contribution, looked forward.

To be sure, the Enemy wants men to think of the Future too - just so much as is necessary for now planning the acts of justice or charity which will probably be their duty tomorrow. The duty of planning the morrow’s work is today’s duty; though its material is borrowed from the future, the duty, like all duties, is in the Present. This is now straw splitting. He does not want men to give the Future their hearts, to place their treasure in it. We do. His ideal is a man who, having worked all day for the good of posterity (if that is his vocation), washes his mind of the whole subject, commits the issue to Heaven, and returns at once to the patience or gratitude demanded by the moment that is passing over him. But we want a man hag-ridden by the Future - haunted by visions of an imminent heaven or hell upon earth - ready to break the Enemy’s commands in the present if by so doing we make him think he can attain the one or avert the other - dependent for his faith on the success or failure of schemes whose end he will not live to see. We want a whole race perpetually in pursuit of the rainbow’s end, never honest, nor kind, nor happy now, but always using as mere fuel wherewith to heap the altar of the future every real gift which is offered them in the Present.

It follows then, in general, and other things being equal, that it is better for your patient to be filled with anxiety or hope (it doesn’t much matter which) about this war than for him to be living in the present. But the phrase “living in the present” is ambiguous. It may describe a process which is really just as much concerned with the Future as anxiety itself. Your man may be untroubled about the Future, not because he is concerned with the Present, but because he has persuaded himself that the Future is, going to be agreeable. As long as that is the real course of his tranquility, his tranquility will do us good, because it is only piling up more disappointment, and therefore more impatience, for him when his false hopes are dashed. If, on the other hand, he is aware that horrors may be in store for him and is praying for the virtues, wherewith to meet them, and meanwhile concerning himself with the Present because there, and there alone, all duty, all grace, all knowledge, and all pleasure dwell, his state is very undesirable and should be attacked at once. Here again, our Philological Arm has done good work; try the word “complacency” on him. But, of course, it is most likely that he is “living in the Present” for none of these reasons but simply because his health is good and he is enjoying his work. The phenomenon would then be merely natural. All the same, I should break it up if I were you. No natural phenomenon is really in our favor. And anyway, why should the creature be happy?

Your affectionate uncle

SCREWTAPE*

C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
 
I think the main reason I was feeling depressed was that I felt like “well my life would be so much less boring if there was a man in it so I’m really missingo ut” now I’m still bored but because I accept that it’s my choice to not have a man in it and that this is the way things are
Don’t worry, you’re still making choices as you go. We change our minds all the time and im pretty sure you’ll get back into relationships when you’ve enjoyed this “break”, however long it may be.

That’s how you should look at it imho, enjoy not having to “care” about it for the time being. Give yourself like 2-3 months and then evaluate and make another decision 👍
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top