"Born Again" Friends

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Two of my best friends were brought up as “Born Again” Christians. They attend a very liberal, non-denominational church and are very strong in their convictions. Now that I’ve started my RCIA process in preparation for my wedding next year, I get the feeling that they think I am making a poor decision. The usual priest jokes ensue, etc. etc. I’m not far-enough along in my RCIA process to really feel comfortable arguing my opinion with them and I also feel very offended by the comments. Anywayz, both of these friends are going to be groomsmen in my wedding and we plan on having a formal wedding mass celebration.

I feel somewhat uncomfortable with how they feel. Does anyone have any ideas or ways that I can approach this issue without hurting any feelings?? :confused:
 
If these are your best friends, I would think you’d be able to talk openly about how your feeling. Be honest and tell them their comments are offensive to you. Don’t keep your feelings to yourself. 😉
 
Well, if they are just being ridiculing I would say “would you really like an answer to that question or are you just being condescending?”. If they would like an answer and you don’t know the Catholic response yet I would simply tell them that they have a great question and that you will get them an answer. Then come to this site or catholic.com to do some digging.
 
I guess I’m just a little intimidated. I don’t want to get into a religious wrestling match with them. I have no problem telling them that I’m offended. I’d just rather not have to defend my Catholic beliefs just yet…
 
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UCallMeJess:
I guess I’m just a little intimidated. I don’t want to get into a religious wrestling match with them. I have no problem telling them that I’m offended. I’d just rather not have to defend my Catholic beliefs just yet…
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Don’t feel pressured to defend your faith on the spot. Feel free and unembarrassed to say you don’t know and that you will get back to them. You could even just print up some Catholic Answers tracts instead of debating them.
 
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UCallMeJess:
I guess I’m just a little intimidated. I don’t want to get into a religious wrestling match with them. I have no problem telling them that I’m offended. I’d just rather not have to defend my Catholic beliefs just yet…
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Well, if they keep attacking your Catholic beliefs, tell them that you’re not comfortable discussing religion. The two worst things any friends can talk about is religion and politics. Everyone has to make up their own minds, and tell them that you’ve made up yours and tell them if they can’t respect your decision, then you feel like they’re not respecting you as a person. Catholicism isn’t a religion that anyone just jumps in to (unless it’s for marriage, and even then the person needs to be trained and become a catechumen etc.). Tell them you’ll give them some lists of books if they’re really concerned about you, and tell them you appreciate the concern but not to demean you in the process. If you’re not comfortable discussing a point with them, tell them you’ll study it, and get back to them and then do get back to them. It’s not easy being Catholic… wasn’t easy for Jesus and it’s not gonna be easy for us…

God bless,
 
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UCallMeJess:
Two of my best friends were brought up as “Born Again” Christians. They attend a very liberal, non-denominational church and are very strong in their convictions. Now that I’ve started my RCIA process in preparation for my wedding next year, I get the feeling that they think I am making a poor decision. The usual priest jokes ensue, etc. etc. I’m not far-enough along in my RCIA process to really feel comfortable arguing my opinion with them and I also feel very offended by the comments. Anywayz, both of these friends are going to be groomsmen in my wedding and we plan on having a formal wedding mass celebration.

I feel somewhat uncomfortable with how they feel. Does anyone have any ideas or ways that I can approach this issue without hurting any feelings?? :confused:
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Tell them you would like to share your faith with them, and you don’t mean to offend them or be rude. That will break the ice enough for you to present your arguments.
 
Thanks for the good advice guys - I will keep you updated on my progress! 🙂
 
I have friends in a non-denominational Christian church, and they are very active. I’ve tried to casual talk to them about my own faith journey in Catholicism (a re-vert), but they seem to give me blank faces or tell me, “Well, I don’t know anything about that Catholic stuff.” It can be very dishearting sometimes, and hurtful, because before we were all full of faith, we could talk about anything without rejecting anyone elses comments. I do feel like I’m starting to distance myself from them (and vice versa).

So now, I just share with them what we’ve always had in common (music) and leave it at that. Meanwhile, I’m making new friends at my parish.
 
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UCallMeJess:
Two of my best friends were brought up as “Born Again” Christians. They attend a very liberal, non-denominational church and are very strong in their convictions. Now that I’ve started my RCIA process in preparation for my wedding next year, I get the feeling that they think I am making a poor decision. The usual priest jokes ensue, etc. etc.
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What else besides “priest jokes” to they offend you with?
 
You might wish to tell them that you respect the good that their religion has done for them but are offended that they would insult yours. Ask them “If you are that uncomfortable with my religion are you sure you are comfortable supporting me in it?” That’s what they are doing by standing up with you at your wedding. If they really wish to insult you and your faith you might want to ask yourself why you want them in your wedding.

Dan L
 
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