Both of us are heartbroken

  • Thread starter Thread starter YiSan
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My heart really goes out to you. DH and I were sacramentally married 17 months after our civil marriage because he was waiting for the nullity trial to be completed for his previous marriage. (I had never been previously married.) I can assure that you that lack of form is not the only reason for a declaration of nullity, though it is a much faster process. Reasons for a declaration of nullity include:
  1. Lack of valid consent (e.g. marrying due to pregnancy, outside pressure, etc.)
  2. Lack of understanding of the nature of marriage
  3. Intent not to be faithful
  4. Intent not to be open to at least the possibility of children
  5. Intent not to be together for life
  6. Abuse that predated the marriage or prior to the marriage, there was evidence that the relationship would become abusive (this demonstrates a lack of respect for one’s spouse, a lack of understanding of the nature of marriage, and possibly a lack of valid consent)
Lack of valid canonical form, being too closely related, or already being married are situations that usually take a very short time to process, as they can be proven “on paper”. Otherwise, a marriage is considered valid until proven invalid. The other reasons I have noted above tend to be more nebulous and require evidence of proof.

DH was a non-Catholic when he married another non-Catholic (she was nominally Lutheran; DH was not even baptized). They married primarily because she was pregnant and he wanted to be a father to the baby. She left him just over 4 years later, citing her unhappiness and stating that “marriage was glorified common-law with ceremonial benefits” and the vows she took were “purely symbolic and didn’t really mean anything”, and if she wasn’t happy, she was free to leave any time she wanted. DH received a declaration of nullity about 16-17 months after he applied, and we were sacramentally married in a simple convalidation a few months later.
 
I am sorry you are heartbroken, but I am also sorry that you have chosen to turn your back on Truth and embrace grave sin, and even idolatry and sacrilege, for the sake of human comfort. You will both be in my most earnest prayers.
 
To be honest, I was hoping the OP would eventually have access to sacramental confession as well.
 
I am sorry you are heartbroken, but I am also sorry that you have chosen to turn your back on Truth and embrace grave sin, and even idolatry and sacrilege, for the sake of human comfort. You will both be in my most earnest prayers.
I will say if you had actually started with the goal of trying to intentionally drive someone away from the Church you couldn’t have done much better than this post.
 
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