Boundaries and Emotions

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How should a spouse handle their spouses very emotional connection with a coworker if they feel it’s gone over the line and there is lying involved?
 
What exactly do you mean by “over the line?”

If you think she is being temptedto sin, pray for her. The Divine Mercy Chaplet might be a good one to pray.

I do not feel properly equipped to give any more advice than that, but I will pray for your situation and for answers from people who are wiser than myself.

God bless.
 
This may not be what you want to hear, but this is an excellent thing to sort out with a counselor. When I was having trouble in my marriage, and communication felt like I was beating my head against a wall, my therapist (who knew me and my situation well) helped me work on ways to talk to my spouse. Her advice helped a ton and both my husband and I use her strategies today.

As a start, you want to be clear and stick to the topic at hand, not drag in every other thing that you’re upset about.
 
pensmama87 said:
This may not be what you want to hear, but this is an excellent thing to sort out with a counselor. When I was having trouble in my marriage, and communication felt like I was beating my head against a wall, my therapist (who knew me and my situation well) helped me work on ways to talk to my spouse. Her advice helped a ton and both my husband and I use her strategies today…
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This is very good advice. A serious situation deserves thoughtful discernment with the help of a knowledgeable listener during the process of deciding on a course of action.
 
Great advice everyone…
Should the husband talk to the man who is too close to his wife?
That can explode… it would be risky…
 
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=14708876#post14708876

See this thread? See Hoosier Daddy’s advice?

“”"“My advice is to search the 119 threads you have started, many of them the exact same thing since 2013, and re read the advice. It all still applies. My other piece of advice is to stay with and dialogue with posters about the advice. Otherwise, in s few months you will have to start a new thread on, sexless marriage, divorce, feeling inadequate etc.
Break the cycle man!!!
What did the counseling and spiritual direction help with?
Have you sought that out?”"""""""

Did you take it?
 
MainBrain said:
Should the husband talk to the man who is too close to his wife?
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No, absolutely not.

This is really between you and your wife.

I will also beat the counseling drum. If your wife won’t go, go by yourself. Talk to your priest, but also seek counseling.
 
If it’s a friendship that raises some concerns, I woud avoid jumping to conclusions about emotional intimacy.

However, if there’s clear flirting, clear signs of romance etc., then I would refuse to be complicit in evil by pretending not to see it. I might be somewhat tolerant in the sense of not lashing out and not separating from the wife in the absence of clear sexual relations with the other other guy, but I would be clear about flirting being flirting, pronounced signs of romance being inappropriate etc.

You need to take great care of your mental and emotional balance right now, in order to avoid anxiety, let alone anger and fear (the paranoic kind) taking over too much of your life and controlling how you think and act. You need to make sure you’re as stable as you can be, to avoid interpreting the situation as more serious, dire or hopeless than it is, especially if there have been any serious jealousy issues in the past. Just in case.

Sending some prayers your way.
 
chevalier said:
If it’s a friendship that raises some concerns, I woud avoid jumping to conclusions about emotional intimacy.

However, if there’s clear flirting, clear signs of romance etc., then I would refuse to be complicit in evil by pretending not to see it. I might be somewhat tolerant in the sense of not lashing out and not separating from the wife in the absence of clear sexual relations with the other other guy, but I would be clear about flirting being flirting, pronounced signs of romance being inappropriate etc.

You need to take great care of your mental and emotional balance right now, in order to avoid anxiety, let alone anger and fear (the paranoic kind) taking over too much of your life and controlling how you think and act. You need to make sure you’re as stable as you can be, to avoid interpreting the situation as more serious, dire or hopeless than it is, especially if there have been any serious jealousy issues in the past. Just in case.

Sending some prayers your way.
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I do find myself being jealous and paranoid. I never was really jealous until the last few years. I’m surprised at myself.

I have to keep a calm head on my shoulders… we both need new boundaries of respect now if we are going to have a marriage. This goes for her and this goes for me.

We never did have a marriage. But now we are trying to work on it.
 
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