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underacloud
Guest
Nicely stated.
Kara, trust in God and seek His will. The rest will fall into place.
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Kara, trust in God and seek His will. The rest will fall into place.
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TheWarriorMonk
Guest
IMHO, a person discerning priesthood should not be dating. First off, it demonstrates that the man is not serious about a priestly vocation, since dating is a sign that he is already considering marriage as a vocation. Secondly, if he was actually serious about a priestly vocation, he stringing you along, which is entirely unfair to you.
I would personally recommend that you stop dating him. By simply considering becoming a priest, he has already implied that you two may not have a future together. That’s not something that a person that is seriously considering marriage should place on the relationship; it’s entirely unfair.
I would personally recommend that you stop dating him. By simply considering becoming a priest, he has already implied that you two may not have a future together. That’s not something that a person that is seriously considering marriage should place on the relationship; it’s entirely unfair.
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Catechesis
Guest
You know that there is a way for him to fulfill both these obligations to you and to his church. Its a long stretch but if hes willing to do it, your boyfriend can become a baptised member of one of the Eastern Catholic Churches. There are twenty two Eastern Catholic Churches who are autonomous but still adhere to the Pope but with there own hierarchs and structure.
Why I bring this up is because many of the Eastern Catholic Churches allow their priests to be married. While the Roman or Latin Catholic Church disallowed this custom within there own church centuries ago, Eastern Catholic Churches found no problem with keeping the custom. Now please, do not ask him to join one of the Eastern Catholic Churches just so he can become a married priest but do tell him to research about them and too see if he would find spirtuality in them. Eastern Catholicism is beautiful, there way of practicing the Holy Mass or as they call it Divine Litirgy/Holy Qurbana/Holy Qurbono is amazing. Please do understand Eastern Catholicsm and the Twenty-Two Churches before even considering this option. There are great many resources online, I would start with maybe wikipedia tho as a base. Once again do not use Eastern Catholicism as an escape route but an oppurtunity.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_Catholic_Churches
Why I bring this up is because many of the Eastern Catholic Churches allow their priests to be married. While the Roman or Latin Catholic Church disallowed this custom within there own church centuries ago, Eastern Catholic Churches found no problem with keeping the custom. Now please, do not ask him to join one of the Eastern Catholic Churches just so he can become a married priest but do tell him to research about them and too see if he would find spirtuality in them. Eastern Catholicism is beautiful, there way of practicing the Holy Mass or as they call it Divine Litirgy/Holy Qurbana/Holy Qurbono is amazing. Please do understand Eastern Catholicsm and the Twenty-Two Churches before even considering this option. There are great many resources online, I would start with maybe wikipedia tho as a base. Once again do not use Eastern Catholicism as an escape route but an oppurtunity.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_Catholic_Churches
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Xantippe
Guest
InquiringPerson said:
“Kara, I just want to make a point that a good priest would also make a good father and husband. Why? Because a good priest and a good husband both strive for holiness.”
Yes. When I think about the two local priests that I respect most, I see that they have the personal qualities that would make them good husbands and fathers: prudent, self-sacrificing, intelligent and hard-working. It’s not a coincidence that we call priests “Father.”
“Kara, I just want to make a point that a good priest would also make a good father and husband. Why? Because a good priest and a good husband both strive for holiness.”
Yes. When I think about the two local priests that I respect most, I see that they have the personal qualities that would make them good husbands and fathers: prudent, self-sacrificing, intelligent and hard-working. It’s not a coincidence that we call priests “Father.”
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liveyourfaith20
Guest
Kara, with all sincerity, I believe your boyfriend is trying to break up with you as gently as possible. Perhaps because he is called to the priesthood, perhaps for other reasons. If that is the case, I’m sure he cares for you very much, but realizes that your relationship is not his future. I’ve been in your shoes - not the priesthood, but another circumstance that would make carrying on a relationship impossible. In any case, if he is considering the priesthood, he will need space to do that, and it’s not fair of him to ask you to wait until he makes a decision. For what it’s worth, I would tell him that you will support him as he discerns his vocation by giving him much needed space and by praying for him. If he goes through this process and decides that you are the one for him, then he will make it happen. I wish you the very best in this difficult situation.
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Rau
Guest
I think it is just early days. He’s had a thought, and may be yet to view it as serious. Responsibility here for the next move probably sits with him.
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Inquiringperson
Guest
I think he should probably talk with his spiritual director or regular confessor first, and then we’ll see where it goes.
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Cristiano
Guest
I thought that the guy in the OP thinks that he has a vocation to the priesthood but he does not want be be a priest. That is not really discernment, he does not sound like he is serious about a priestly vocation. I also know of a priest that when he was discerning he was told by his director to go and date, he shared that info during a high school discernment dinner with young men.
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Bruised_Reed
Guest
I disagree with dating while discerning. Not that the guy in the OP is actually discerning. Dating while discerning is a lot like dating one woman while seriously considering marrying another. This was linked up thread. seraphicsinglescummings.blogspot.com/2011/03/will-you-be-my-vdp.html
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Cristiano
Guest
I am neither priest nor a spiritual director. I simply mentioned that sometime that happens. I agree with you that in general dating during discernment is not a good idea, it would bring more confusion than clarity, that is just my opinion.
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KaraGordon
Guest
If he wanted to break up with me using the priesthood as an excuse he wouldn’t avoid talking about this for months on end and wouldn’t only discuss it when he’s really torn up about it because he DOES NOT WANT TO BE A PRIEST AND FEELS HE HAS NO CHOICE.
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Inquiringperson
Guest
I think your boyfriend should set an appointment with a priest to deal with this situation. I think that will help both of you feel peace.
BTW, Happy Thanksgiving!
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KaraGordon
Guest
Thank you, and Happy Thanksgiving to you as well =)
He’s been talking to trusted Catholic adults in his life, presumably his priest, seeking guidance, and doing so at my encouragement.
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Inquiringperson
Guest
That’s good.
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