J
javid
Guest
Can a Girl have a BoyFriend or can a boy have a Girlfriend? I mean without marriage.
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C
Cojuanco
Guest
If they’re not having sex, or otherwise leading you to some other sort of sin, I do not see why not. Men and women have courted each other to discern who their spouses are (or whether they were destined to be married at all) since time immemorial.
J
jonathan_hili
Guest
Presumably you mean as a romantic interest? If so, certainly. There is nothing immoral or sinful in itself in dating or being with someone you are interested in.
L
Lasting_faith
Guest
As long as you don’t do anything stupid and at least appear that you listen and obey your parents there is no reason why not.
S
St_Francis
Guest
I do not think that people should become romantially involved before they are ready to marry, because then the goal of dating becomes having a boy- or girlfriend. This leads to an involvement unsuited for the level of commitment, lots of potential for occasions of sin (temptation), and development of unrealistic expectations and consequent habits inimical to marriage.
J
javid
Guest
Thanks for answers. Would you please give me a link that shows formal view of Catholic Church?
A
ATeutonicKnight
Guest
Dating and relationships are a cultural thing, and thus the Church has nothing formal about them. There are many people who represent the Church who speak a lot about dating and relationships, though. I recommend Jason Evert. He has many good books ranging from Finding Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul and Romance Without Regret. I also hear If You Really Loved Me by him is great, too.
Unless you belong to a culture that still has arranged marriages, you have no choice but to find a spouse yourself. In the West, parents don’t generally choose a spouse for their children.
There is nothing wrong with having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. The problem comes in when having a boyfriend or girlfriend becomes too much of a goal rather than a step in the bigger process of finding a spouse.
It’s natural that people experience attraction to each other and want to spend time together. But there is a difference between*** A ***boyfriend or A girlfriend and THE boyfriend or THE girlfriend. Unless there is some reasonable chance that a couple can marry in foreseeable future it’s probably best that people consider boyfriends and girlfriends as ***just ***friends.
M
Meemai
Guest
It’s no problem.
J
joshvanrad
Guest
While I agree that a person should be mature enough for marriage, how can one discern whether or not they are fully ready to enter into the sacrament of marriage without getting to know/ dating/ being in a relationship with/ or bringing a friendship to the next level with their potential mate?
My personal opinion is that one must discern and know that a specific person will be that suitable spouse, and I think that is generally achieved by dating.
Joshua C.
K
Kamaduck
Guest
Yes.
I can’t say anything witty about what an obvious answer this is, because there was a time when I, too, questioned whether romantic relationships other than marriage itself were sinful. They’re not. Rest assured.
Now, different people will have different opinions on how, who, when, and why you ought to date. However, I don’t think many here would say that there’s anything wrong with dating itself.
B
Blue_Horizon
Guest
Javid this question cannot possibly be answered without us understanding what your cultural circumstances and age is.
The Church has little formal teaching on this matter that would directly help you because it is a matter of social/cultural custom that differs widely from place to place and culture to culture.
The following Catholic principles may help you.
While you are under the stewardship of your parents you must obey them so long as they do not ask you to sin directly. That is why I asked you your age, that would help us help you.
Fixed companionship for romantic purposes (which I presume is what you mean by “girlfriend”) without a chaperone is not intrinsically evil - but it may be against the customs of some cultures. If you belong to that culture, even if not under guardianship, and it is offensive to the community you live in then it may be sinful to live Western values so brazenly and hence somewhat sinful.
Even in Western culture there are ethical standards involved in Catholic dating and such young companionships. Persons from other cultures often do not realise this and think anything goes which is not at all the case for committed Christians.
Unless you can provide more information as suggested we cannot really help you decide.
F
Fairwinds
Guest
sure. have fun. don’t overthink this. enjoy life.
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