Boyfriend sleepovers

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kage_ar said:
Agree. I drive over 50 miles each way to work every day. He can drive home.
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I was thinking 50 miles isn’t too too far–now if it is too late, I can see potential for concern. Just has to leave earlier. 😉

50 miles one way to work, kage???😦
 
whatevergirl said:
I was thinking 50 miles isn’t too too far–now if it is too late, I can see potential for concern. Just has to leave earlier. 😉

50 miles one way to work, kage???😦
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I drive 50 miles round trip and I have to be to work at 2 a.m… and most of that trip is through the mountains of the Lincoln National Forest and the Mescalero Apache reservation which has a casino. Few houses, lots of elk, some bears, cougars, stray dogs… but it’s the intoxicated patrons leaving the casinos that scare me the most.

But then I have friends in San Antonio that drive 20+ miles to work every day through heavy traffic, so…🤷
 
bluerose said:
I drive 50 miles round trip and I have to be to work at 2 a.m… and most of that trip is through the mountains of the Lincoln National Forest and the Mescalero Apache reservation which has a casino. Few houses, lots of elk, some bears, cougars, stray dogs… but it’s the intoxicated patrons leaving the casinos that scare me the most.

But then I have friends in San Antonio that drive 20+ miles to work every day through heavy traffic, so…🤷
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Wow–God bless you! I live 15 miles away from my work–and it takes me 45 minutes:rolleyes: I live in Florida–need I say more? haha It has its ok days, though. I did not want to live close to the city of Tampa for a variety of reasons–and the schools are better away from the city. I applaud all your hard workers who have long commutes!
 
whatevergirl said:
I was thinking 50 miles isn’t too too far–now if it is too late, I can see potential for concern. Just has to leave earlier. 😉

50 miles one way to work, kage???😦
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Yes! For 8 years now.

I get to listen to Mass on EWTN on the way to work, and flip between The Catholic Guy and Catholic Answers Live on the way home (and with Sirius, I look forward to traffic jams that increase my radio listening time 👍 )
 
kage_ar said:
Yes! For 8 years now.

I get to listen to Mass on EWTN on the way to work, and flip between The Catholic Guy and Catholic Answers Live on the way home (and with Sirius, I look forward to traffic jams that increase my radio listening time 👍 )
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😃 I wish Relevant Radio came in better here in Florida.😦 They have been talking on that station, that it’s going off the air.😦 😦
Lucky you that you have that privilege of listening to mass on your commute.

I used to have XM, and I didn’t hear ANY Catholic talk radio–so I canceled it,because there wasn’t enough appealing programming. Sirius is better huh?:ehh:
 
Yes - not to get too off topic, but Sirius has 159 EWTN Radio and 160 The Catholic Channel. I never listen to any other stations!
 
Becky42 said:
um in reply to all the comments about 'what other people will think if he sleeps over ’ does it matter at all?!??!:confused:

i feel like the opinion of other people doesnt count much in my books as anyone i know and that i value the opinions of would never believe that if my boyfriend stayed the night that there was anything unholy in it at all!!

the opinions of anyone that chooses to spread such rumours or choose to believe such things are invalid in my books. If they want to think the worst of people thats their problem.
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Becky:

We are taught to avoid the appearance of evil for many reasons. Suppose I allow my boyfriend to spend the night in my apartment rather than drive home that night. This has the appearance of evil and my neighbor sees me and jumps to the wrong conclusion. Now at some point I invite my neighbor to attend Mass with me, but she won’t go and in fact forms a poor opinion of ALL Catholics because of what she THOUGHT she saw me do (having an extra-marital affair). Now my entire witness to my neighbor has been lost because I did not avoid the appearance of evil in a frivolous matter. Now if my boyfriend were deathly ill and not only could not drive home, but in fact needed care, then I would be performing a charitable act in having him spend the night despite its appearance of evil and charity would take precedence.

We are morally obligated to take the tender conscience of others into account when we make decisions.
 
I am from Texas so maybe I am just used to things being far apart, but 50 miles? That’s less than an hour’s drive.

I drive 50 miles to the NEAREST big city that has a mall and shop and come back all in the same day. It really is not that far at all. No need for a sleepover.
 
My fiancée lives about an hour away, but has worked and volunteered at a local theater not 5 minutes from my house. So, rather than have her drive home around midnight, she’s taken my bed and I head downstairs to the couch. Likewise, there have been times when I’ve gotten the air mattress in the spare room at her house. Although, these houses are those of our respective parents, so there’s probably a lot less scandal invovled, not to mention that we don’t really have many friends around here who could be scandalized in the first place.

So, there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with it, but as has been said, be careful if you do.

Sam, the Neon Orange Knight
 
What the fine apologists on Catholic Answers will tell you (and I agree with them) is that to give the appearance of sin is to cause scandal, and that in itself is a sin.

I applaud you for your commitment to chastity and desire to do what is right, instead of what the world tells you is right, or what is easiest. In this case, if you truly want to follow Church teaching, find another place for him to stay. Even with a male friend in the same apartment complex would be just fine.

God willing (and presuming your boyfriend is a good Catholic also), the two of you can work toward marriage, so that this no longer is an issue. 👍
 
Alycin said:
I am from Texas so maybe I am just used to things being far apart, but 50 miles? That’s less than an hour’s drive.

I drive 50 miles to the NEAREST big city that has a mall and shop and come back all in the same day. It really is not that far at all. No need for a sleepover.
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Good point. Also being from Texas, I would think nothing of driving 50 miles to spend the day with a friend and then driving back at night.
 
All good advice here but I just had to comment on this…
However, there is your reputation to think of. This is the reason my boyfriend REFUSES to sleep in the same room with me, even if we had separate beds, or in the same house if there are no other people in the house that night. It’s not that he’s worried about being tempted, but he wants to protect my reputation. For the same reasons, he turned down a FREE week-long trip for two to Florida. The only person he wanted to go with was me, and after much thinking and praying he realized it was not worth risking my reputation like that, even if we would have been staying in separate hotel rooms. Oh, and we’re also in a long distance relationship.
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pumpkin WOW you are one LUCKY gal!! 👍 👍 TO come across someone like that these days is truly a blessing:)
 
shannyk said:
All good advice here but I just had to comment on this…

pumpkin WOW you are one LUCKY gal!! 👍 👍 TO come across someone like that these days is truly a blessing:)
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I think it was no coincidence you found this a posted when you did… this is an old thread, and that was an old post… I won’t go into details, but thank you for reminding me of this. 🙂
 
pumpkin I knew it was old but I just HAD to say something about your post. I’m just WOW over that. Single lady very jealous of you over here…:o Glad I posted at an opportune time:)
 
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