I see all the average couples, yes, but I am a very shallow person, require men to be objectively pretty (defined as “someone who more that 50% of women would find attractive”) along with all the other things, and refuse to settle for one who isn’t.
Careful! If you’re using the 50%+ as just an example, then it’s more or less fine. But you need to make a proper differentiation between what
you consider attractive and what
other women consider attractive. Wanting your man to be “hot” in other womens’ eyes or wanting him just because others want him, is not very healthy. And yeah, it’s kind of shallow. And once again: think and look for yourself. He has to be handsome to you, not to other women.
All I’m asking for is that people admit they want someone physically attractive rather than being ashamed of it.
Well, people don’t want to be rude and they don’t want to seem shallow, either. However, it’s better to realise one’s needs than to pretend they are different.
And I don’t do makeup. That was an observation of a friend who wears it for “dress-up” occasions and doesn’t act any differently when doing it. But the men who treat her differently cause far more feminine fluttering than they merit, so I think that’s probably more “that type of man” (who are fairly shallow and do not have a proper respect for women) than anything.
Hey, please don’t generalise like that.
It may be true to some extent, but it’s not true of all the man who give special attention to ladies in their dressed-up incarnations. Also, it’s you who say the friend doesn’t act differently. There might be something you don’t see.
Also, wearing make-up generally sends the message the woman cares how she’s seen by men. Wearing no make-up at a social occasion could imply, in some people’s minds, that she doesn’t care how she’s received. Some people claim to admire that, but it’s not the most endearing quality if one doesn’t care how one is seen by others.
Remember there’s difference between make-up and fake-up.
When it doesn’t amount to deception (professional characterisation could, for instance), it’s a bit like wearing a nice dress rather than coming to a party in worn jeans and a baggy sweater.
And, just because men like that kind of thing, doesn’t mean they don’t respect women. Disrespectful it is when it’s caring for looks in such a way as to ignore the totality, the integral entity of the person, seeing the girl (or guy) as merely a piece of flesh.
This thread was ill-advised. I just like to complain. On the inside I know I need to become better before I start attracting what I’m interested in rather than creepy guys and nerds (what I normally get), but at the same time, I don’t want to bother, because I probably won’t get the results I want anyway. COMPLAIN.
Prettier does not equal better. And I wouldn’t exactly say you need to become a better person to get prettier guys, either.
Also, please note that those “creepy guys” are brothers in faith. God loves them. You don’t have to like them, but you have to love them (charity) and shouldn’t deny their worth.
Oh, and yeah, what’s wrong with nerds? If you don’t like someone who lives partly in a virtual world and feeds on tons of obscure trivia, devoting a lot of time to a technological, scientific or academic hobby or work, well, that’s your right, but this doesn’t make the person bad. Personally, I’m proud of being a nerd more than I am of being handsome and I’ve got a lot of positive feedback on both. It’s not like those nerds automatically lack people skills or hygiene, either. In fact, not all of them live in a virtual world, either.
Seriously, stop thinking what your friends will think about your guy or how “cool” he is to the rest of your social circle. You need a good husband, not a highly noted trophy to best other girls.
I’m not saying you don’t have a personal problem with nerds, but nerds are mostly resented because… because they are already resented by the wider public.
Don’t let group thinking get you. Ever.
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