Breaking a voluntary Lentern fast

[yesukristus]

I have decided to fast from a few food items for Lent this year. The problem is that the food items I fast from involved something the people in my community eat everyday so I draw attention when I have meals without it. This is even worse at home since my parents are the ones preparing my meals for me. After I told them that I would be fasting they actually bought more food for me (which I’m quite sure goes against the spirit of fasting). So now I feel that I’ve gone against Jesus’ injunction about fasting (by having to either tell people that I’m fasting or lie about why I’m fasting). And sometimes my parents forgot that I’m fasting when they prepare my meals so I end up having to either break my fast or throw food away (as my parents have that policy about food on my plate that I don’t eat). What do you think I should do/ should have done? And what if this happen on Fridays?

 

[Della]

I would choose foods that your parents aren’t likely to prepare, such as sweets. You can always deny yourself desserts without comment. If they aren’t Catholic and insist you eat meat on Fridays, then explain nicely that you will not be eating meat on Fridays to keep the fast and hope they will respect your desire to be faithful in this. If they serve you meat anyway, don’t eat it–make yourself a cheese sandwich later on before going to bed or offer up your hunger for the poor souls in purgatory. It’s too bad your family isn’t supporting you in your desire to be faithful to your penance. But, you don’t have to choose foods that will make it nearly impossible for you to do penance. It’s not necessary to be as hard on yourself as possible, dear one. Do what you can do and leave the rest to God.

 

[yesukristus]

Btw i’m 28… a tad too old to be living with my parents and following their rules but… (sigh)

 

[Della]

Btw i’m 28… a tad too old to be living with my parents and following their rules but… (sigh)

I thought you were a teen over the age of 14 doing his first Lenten penance. uch: Is it gratitude that is compelling you to give in to them? I can understand that, but really you can set your own rules about what you eat. Just explain firmly but nicely that you are keeping the fast and ask them to honor your desire to do so. Make your own meals, if need be. It’s not all that hard. If I can make meals, and I’m no cook (just ask my husband), anyone can.

 

[yellowbicycle]

I’m going to encounter something like this problem, too.
I had decided to fast on specific days during Lent, but one of those days I have a baby shower and a wedding shower to attend. I already told the host’s I would be eating when I got there. (I wasn’t paying attention when I sent in my reply card), so I guess since it hasn’t happened yet, I’ll just switch out my fast.
Maybe you could do that? Maybe you could, realizing now that this particular thing you gave up for Lent might not be achieving the desired result - which is to remind you of your hunger for God - maybe you can just sacrifice something else?

 

[yesukristus]

The thing is my mother would keep arguing with me the necessity of fasting during Lent, the hardship she had to endure to reduce my food intake, and also keep trying to give me the same amount of food (kind of going against the spirit of fasting here IMHO) and even sometimes forgetting that I’m fasting from certain foods and thus causing me to have to choose between breaking my fast or throwing the foods away… sigh… perhaps I should have chosen some other form of fasting… and no, she wouldn’t let me prepare my own meals… What would y’all have done in my shoes?

 

[Ron_Conte]

If you undertake a fast for Lent in addition to what the Church requires, you are free to modify that fast, or to depart from it, without sin.

 

[Della]

The thing is my mother would keep arguing with me the necessity of fasting during Lent, the hardship she had to endure to reduce my food intake, and also keep trying to give me the same amount of food (kind of going against the spirit of fasting here IMHO) and even sometimes forgetting that I’m fasting from certain foods and thus causing me to have to choose between breaking my fast or throwing the foods away… sigh… perhaps I should have chosen some other form of fasting… and no, she wouldn’t let me prepare my own meals… What would y’all have done in my shoes?

She is practicing emotional blackmail here. Don’t you have refrigeration? Can’t the leftovers be saved for another meal? You are free to eat or not eat whatever you want, except on Fridays. It’s great your mother cooks for you, but you shouldn’t have to eat everything just because she cooked it. Considering this situation hasn’t changed in a year’s time, I’d give up something else for Lent and eat out on Fridays.

 

[Bookcat]

I have decided to fast from a few food items for Lent this year. The problem is that the food items I fast from involved something the people in my community eat everyday so I draw attention when I have meals without it. This is even worse at home since my parents are the ones preparing my meals for me. After I told them that I would be fasting they actually bought more food for me (which I’m quite sure goes against the spirit of fasting). So now I feel that I’ve gone against Jesus’ injunction about fasting (by having to either tell people that I’m fasting or lie about why I’m fasting). And sometimes my parents forgot that I’m fasting when they prepare my meals so I end up having to either break my fast or throw food away (as my parents have that policy about food on my plate that I don’t eat). What do you think I should do/ should have done? And what if this happen on Fridays?

regarding meat and fridays of lent…yes one must keep this abstinence.

regarding the self- chosen penance…one is free to change or substitute or even stop it --and there is no sin.

keep it secret…and change when need be.

 

[SugarMagnolia]

Perhaps instead of giving up certain foods, you could give up a pleasurable activity: TV, movies, novel-reading.
Or, instead of giving something up, add something: rosary, devotional reading, prayer.
For me, adding daily devotional reading is more difficult than giving up food, so that’s what I’m doing.