Breaking sinful habits: Gossip

[Pieman333272]

Hi all,

I struggle with many sinful habits and am trying to get better. One major habit with which I struggle is gossip. I am alright at not bringing up gossip as a topic for discussion, but the problem is that oftentimes my friends will bring it up, such as by telling me a gossipy-story or bringing up someone for discussion. I am unsure of how to respond to this and what is or isn’t sinful here. If everyone around me is speaking ill of someone, and I just remain quiet, is that a sin? What if somebody tells me a story and I don’t want to seem unfriendly, so I just let them go on, saying “yeah” and the like? Also, might habit reduce the culpability for gossip, such as if I allude to a story or person without thinking about it? I am worried because I will be Confessing this this weekend but am worried about how accurately I can promise not to do it.

 

[mommyof4]

If someone starts gossiping, can you quickly change the subject? With some gossipy people I know, I’ll start the conversation with a “how is your family doing… how old is so-and-so now, how does your child like high school?” People like to talk about themselves and their family, and rarely get “mean” in those conversations. If they do start a gossipy conversation, try to stand up for the person being talked about? This is tough, because I run into this a lot in my life, too. I have come to the decision that there are some people, especially at work, that I just have to out and out avoid because all they want to do is complain about other people, and I don’t want to get drug into those conversations.

 

[sudy]

How about thinking about a few nice things to say about each person who may come up in gossip? Consider the usual suspects who are gossiped about and try to say something nice about them. This way… you can acknowledge what your friends say but at the same time offer something positive. All people are a mixture of good and evil… including ourselves. Or perhaps change the subject or steer it into a more generous direction? Just try to do the best you can.

It may not go down all that great but at least your conscience will be clear(er).

 

[Kathrin]

I may say something like “I don’t like to talk negatively about other people”, “let’s not gossip”, etc.
It may actually help make somebody else aware too.

It depends a bit on the situation though, and who one is with.

 

[Crown_of_Stars]

If I’m gossipy at times, and I truly know it’s wrong, even over petty little things, and someone starts in, I just say, “Well, I know,” as if to say, “I know this person annoys you, but there’s really nothing you can do,” and just leave it at that and don’t say anything more.

 

[ready]

If someone starts gossiping, politely change the subject or defend the person being spoken about (if possible), or give a blank or disappointed look, in silence. Don’t say yeah or say or do anything to contribute in any way to the sinful conversation, so you will not be an accomplice in sin. If you are in the habit of saying sinful things without deliberation, then you must work hard on thinking before you speak and try hard to always think charitably about your neighbors, and speak with a traditional priest about whether or not you are culpable. God bless you.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

I may say something like “I don’t like to talk negatively about other people”, “let’s not gossip”, etc.
It may actually help make somebody else aware too.

It depends a bit on the situation though, and who one is with.

Yes, that doesn’t work at the office lunch room with your boss. I find saying something nice about the person being gossiped about shuts them up fast.