Bridal Shower Question

[kevinsgirl]

Hello everyone!

You’ve helped me so much on the other threads, I thought I’d set this situation before you and ask for (name removed by moderator)ut.

I will have five attendents for my wedding: my three little sisters, my soon to be sister-in-law living way out of state, and my childhood friend living several hours away.

I’ve been asked about and people keep referring to when I’ll have a shower. And that’s where it gets sticky…

My maid of honor is my little sister–she’s 16, so her hosting a shower is out–the same for my other even younger sisters. My childhood friend doesn’t want to host one. And I know it’s out of the question for my sister-in-law.

Ok, so here are the questions:

If my mom feels like I should have a shower, is it alright for her to host it with my sisters? (She asked me find out about this.)

And…

What do I say to people when they ask me if I’m having a shower? I don’t want to throw a pity party. I mean–I’d love to have a shower, but I’ll be perfectly alright without one…

Oh, and having a shower at work is out too…I’m an engineer and work with predominantly guys… Although I do wonder what kind of a shower they’d come up with???

As for aunts–we’ve never been very close. And most of my friends are out of state.

Any thoughts?

kevinsgirl

 

[Della]

If my mom feels like I should have a shower, is it alright for her to host it with my sisters? (She asked me find out about this.)

This is the very thing I was going to suggest, so naturally I think it’s a great way to solve the problem.

Your mother could be the “producer” and your sister the “director” of the shower. IOW, let you sister plan as much as she feels comfortable doing and your mom can back her up and help her when it all becomes a bit much, if you see what I mean.

And it’s perfectly fine to have the shower at your mom’s house, but to make it feel more like it’s your sister hosting, you could rent a small vacility for the shower or perhaps have it at your parish, if they allow that sort of thing. Just a few stray thoughts to try to help you. God bless.

 

[stayathomemom]

I totally agree with Della. I see nothing wrong with your mother helping out your sister.

 

[axolotl]

When my SIL got married, my MIL planned and payed for the shower, but she had my SIL’s bridesmaid friend send out invitation and take RSVP’s. That way, it didn’t look like a family member soliciting gifts.

 

[Lucania]

Traditionally, Mother’s & Sisters are not to host a Bridal Shower but if there is no one else who can or is willing to host one, such as an Aunt or other family member, then it’s alright. I agree for your Sisters to put their names on the invitaion as hosting it and not your Mother as they are also Bridesmaids. When someone asks you if you are having a Shower, just say there may be one in the planning stages but since you are the Bride-to-Be, you are not involved in that!

 

[stadre]

When my brother got married, her mother wanted to pay for the shower. She arranged it and I sent out the invitations. It was very nice and more than I could have done as a college student. If you are concerned about having your mother or sisters as hostesses, perhaps your mom could make arrangements and your childhood friend’s name could be on the invitations (or send out them herself–a great way for her to be minimally involved).

 

[vluvski]

Showers, lol, this is where I almost lost my maid of honor. My former roommate felt like she was in the best position to host since she was out of college and lived in a house with her husband, and had everything planned. Then sis (maid of honor) and friend got really offended that they were not consulted in planning. Roommate says forget it, plan it yourselves, and then friend says let’s do it later, when her study abroad was the reason they were trying to throw it together in such a hurry in the first place.
Don’t sweat it. I’m sure those who know you well enough to be invited will realize that your sisters are too young to hostess a party, and most probably have no idea it is a faux pas to have mom host the shower. Even if I knew I certainly wouldn’t care. It’s not like the presents are for her!
I had bridesmaids spread all across the east coast and Texas, and one studying abroad in Mexico. No two people were in the same place. My aunt co-hosted a shower with my sister in Texas (was convenient that my mom helped with aunt’s new daughter-in-law’s shower months before), and my sister and 'maid got together with the best man to throw a co-ed shower for all our friends at NC State. All DH’s family attendants in MI and friend in Mexico missed out. Never did get to have a bachelorette party or lingerie party, but we were well-gifted nonetheless.

 

[Cupofkindness]

You should ask your mother to plan the shower, pay for the shower, and then list your sisters as the hostesses. Don’t even pressure your sister to do anything.