Bring my non-Catholic friend to TLM?

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Magnum_V8

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I have a friend, who for about the last year has really started inquiring about God. He has family members that are Pentecostal. His son from a non-marriage is being raised Catholic…although from what I hear they are really raising him Catholic in name only. My friend and his son’s mother have been separated for a number of years; and she’s re-married.

My friend has been turned off by Catholicism because “he doesn’t feel any love at the Mass.” I’ve tried to tell him that the Catholic Mass is less about patting each other on the back and more about worshiping God. I’m sure the Pentecostal services he’s been to are heavily focused on fellowship, judging by his comparison.

I don’t really want to invite him to my parish, because it is the chat-it-up, folk-music, clapping, irreverent type. And I don’t want him thinking this is how the Catholic Church is.

A lot of times, I go to a Tridentine High Mass on Sundays. So I was thinking that I’d invite him to that. The downside is that this parish and the TLM are exactly what he sees wrong with the Catholic Mass…they don’t spend their time holding hands, chit-chatting and other such “displays” of fellowship. The congregation prays the Rosary before Mass, yet one could still hear a pin drop…explain that one!

Yes, he won’t understand any of the Latin, he won’t get to shake my hand at the “sign of peace”; but will he be inspired by the worship?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and particular from those that were non-Catholics at the time they first attended a Tridentine High Mass.
 
That could go either way.

I would really love to tell you that the inherent beauty of the Mass will be self-evident and inspire him to conversion and saintliness much like some hagiographies read.

But sadly, without an appreciation for what the Mass actually IS and a knowledge of what is being done. I have found that a lot of top-40 listening Americans who won’t sit through a 30 second commercial, or spend half their drive time flipping through the radio stations aren’t going to be moved by the beauty of it. Sadly, the sense of beauty has been warped and corrupted.

I have taken non-Catholics to TLMs and Byzantine Divine Liturgies. “That was nice, but I like ‘normal’ church” was the most common answer I got after asking “so what did you think?”
 
ASimpleSinner said:
I have taken non-Catholics to TLMs and Byzantine Divine Liturgies. “That was nice, but I like ‘normal’ church” was the most common answer I got after asking “so what did you think?”
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That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.
 
Magnum_V8 said:
That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.
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I heard an excellent sermon about fixing your personal intentions to offer to God at Mass with the offetory… Make a special effort to remember your friend each and every time you make a communion or attend Mass. I firmly believe that this will avail much.

There are people I have met “along the way” in life that I don’t ever expect to see again - and I keep a list of them, some by name some I just note (i.e. “the one homelss person I talked to”, “the person who broke into my home whose name I don’t know”) and I pray for them at each Mass I go to. If God gives me the grace to make it to heaven, I expect I will see a lot of them there. I pray I will see ALL of them there.

So as laudible an effort as it is to get someone to go to Mass with you… don’t give up praying for them if they don’t show any interest in the Mass the first time.
 
How do you think protestant people became acquainted with the Mass 50 years ago, 75 years, 100 years ago (besides hearsay)? Catholics asked them to Mass. Don’t expect your friend to fall down in adoration, but don’t expect the worst, either. And yes, ask away!
 
If anything, your friend might chalk it up to ‘an experience.’

My wife and I, after much thought and prayer, decided to go ahead with a TLM Wedding… a total of 6 people of 100 had been to a TLM in the last 40 years, and it couldn’t have gone better.

My Church of Christ best man, my Baptist groomsman, and the rest of my family and friends all said, ‘it was beautiful… a departure from the ordinary.’ I really think it’d take a person who absolutely hated the Catholic Church to abhor the EF Mass.

I say, go for it.
 
Take him to a High Mass. Have no fear. My guess is he will be awestruck.

I took a non-Catholic penticostal - independant type fella to a Solemn High mass a couple of times. The first time I got up and went to confession and by the time I came back, he was praying along with the rosary. I couldn’t believe it. He went back with me a couple of times, and at last check he said he would again…but we’ve lost track of each other over the last year. He may have run into some, eh, “trouble” on the home front - but that’s just speculation on my part. I have no idea.

I’m not sure where he’s at right now - but hopefully some seeds were planted.

Peace in Christ,

DustinsDad
 
Take him to both show him the vastness of the Catholic Faith. From the Formal personal solemness of the TML worship of Our God. To the hand holding, chat-it-up, folk-music, clapping, worship. They are after all both Catholic forms of worship (no mater what my personal feelings are about either) with Equal Grace and standing. I would also take him to different styles of churches, the older more old world type and the newer more modern. Show him all that the Church has to offer. The thing to remember is the Mass is the Mas whether it is in the USA or China, TML or NO. Its a Celebration of the Body of Christ coming together to worship God and share in the Eucharist of the Lord.
 
DustinsDad said:
Take him to a High Mass. Have no fear. My guess is he will be awestruck.

I took a non-Catholic penticostal - independant type fella to a Solemn High mass a couple of times. The first time I got up and went to confession and by the time I came back, he was praying along with the rosary. I couldn’t believe it. He went back with me a couple of times, and at last check he said he would again…but we’ve lost track of each other over the last year. He may have run into some, eh, “trouble” on the home front - but that’s just speculation on my part. I have no idea.

I’m not sure where he’s at right now - but hopefully some seeds were planted.

Peace in Christ,

DustinsDad
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Just a thought maybe this was a message that you may want to try and get in touch?🤷
 
I would recommend not taking your friend to the happy clappy NO Mass. My concern would be that yes, he may feel more comfortable with it, yet he also may have the reaction, “What’s the big deal?”

You noted that the TLM is a High Mass, so I assume it has Gregorian chant. To me that is the best Mass to take a Protestant to. Maybe just warn him that it won’t have all the glad handing of a regular service so he doesn’t expect it.

I remember taking one “low-church” Protestant to a Gregorian chant TLM and she had tears running down her face during it.

At least he’ll experience something that will give him some food for thought.
 
If your friend already has at least some curiosity about what the Catholic faith is all about, I would definitely take him to a TLM high mass and make sure you take a seat with him that is well down into the nave of the church so that he/she can see the celebration of the TLM (and hear what is said audibly) without feeling it is remote - which sitting right up the back might unfortunately mean. This can maximise the chances of his/her gaining the spiritual uplifting experience which only the beauty and mystery of a TLM high mass can deliver like nothing else. Once experienced - at least speaking from my own conversion journey - anyone who has the slightest inclination to become Catholic is well on the discovery road. Of course one TLM high mass does not make a non-catholic, a Catholic, but there is at least a reasonable chance the experience will stimulate further enquiry to the point that he/she understands what is really the one, true faith that everyone needs to be part of for their own salvation.
 
I’ve taken several non-Catholics to TLMs. They usually react better than most of the “Catholics” I take. No, they don’t understand everything - I didn’t for a long time either, and probably still don’t fully - but if nothing else, they appreciate the reverence and order. Where else does anyone find that in today’s world? None of them have converted to my knowledge, but at least one still borrows Catholic books from me pretty consistently, so it certainly hasn’t hurt.
 
I had a friend who was Baptist who told me one thing he appreciated about the Catholic Mass when he occasionally attended was that the mass was NOT about preaching and converting so much as about WORSHIP. He thinks (correctly in my opinion) that often (always?) the Baptist service is about preaching and converting and not worshipping.
 
Re-reading my orig post, I noticed I did not make something clear - I am ALL FOR taking your friend to Mass and encourage it. I just want you to be reasonable and be prepared for the possibility that it might not immediately move his heart in a miraculous fashion. Then again, it very well may - it has happened throughtout history many, many times.

I know that this is not strictly empiracle in nature (faith that is) but some studies have suggested that the average convert to the Catholic Church usually needs to go through 25-40+ positive contacts with the Catholic faith (especially contact with Catholics living their faith) before they will begin to consider conversion. So everyone, be forewarned, you have a duty you cannot shirk to live your Catholic faith and demonstrate a witness to it. The person who sees it may not fall to their knees and convert as you pass, but God is calling you to serve as part of a cloud of witnesses.

So yes, take your friend to Mass, be prepared to be patient and prayerful though. Just in case.
 
Simplesinner,

If its any consolation, I never thought you were discouraging me from inviting my friend.
 
Magnum_V8 said:
Simplesinner,

If its any consolation, I never thought you were discouraging me from inviting my friend.
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Very good then!

May I ask, what parish in Cleveland? I get up there every so often to our Cathedral in Parma. The Churches of Northern Ohio from Cleveburgh 🙂 to Toledo are some of the most amazing in the nation!

Simple
 
ASimpleSinner said:
Very good then!

May I ask, what parish in Cleveland? I get up there every so often to our Cathedral in Parma. The Churches of Northern Ohio from Cleveburgh 🙂 to Toledo are some of the most amazing in the nation!

Simple
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Have you been to St. John the Baptist (Byzantine Catholic) or St. Josaphat (Ukrainian Catholic)? I would like to go to both for Divine Liturgy since I do not live far. I just have to call the churches and find out what time the Liturgies are. Plus, I want to attend a Liturgy in English, since I do not understand Ukrainian.
 
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