Broke up due to religious differences

[jamiecrz]

Hello all,

I recently ended a 3 year relationship with my ex-girlfriend because of our religious differences (she was the initiator). I’m having a hard time coping with things because I saw myself being with her in the future.

I am catholic, and she is a born again christian. She wasn’t practicing her religion and was baptised as a catholic, but her parents decided to change when she was young and had no choice.

It’s hard for me to accept things ended and I’ve been feeling empty inside. She wasn’t opposed to converting, but she was afraid of creating conflict within her family, since she still lived with her parents and because they were very devout in practicing their religion. She didn’t want them to be mad at her or to hinder her relationship with them.

She has explained to me that although she still loves me, she can’t stay around because she knows that a catholic marriage is important to me and that she doesn’t want to convert when she feels unsure of things. I still love her, and I guess its hard because we didn’t end things on a bad note and we still have strong feelings for each other.

I wanted to know if anyone has been in this situation before and how they coped with the saddness of a break up. I trust God that this may be better for both of us but deep down I still hope that I can reconnect with her in the future.

Thank you in advance for any replies I get. Please pray for me!

 

[Hoosier-Daddy]

I know it is raw and it hurts now but imagine if you were married with kids…
It is for the best.

 

[Legend]

It sounds as if she has no strong religious feelings: she says she would convert for you, but now practices her family’s religion because of them. I know it’s difficult, but it’s better for her to not marry until she gets on a solid rooting with God, and a strong sense of the way he wants her to worship Him. OTOH, you seem solidly Catholic…be glad your relationship ended now, before any commitments were made.

And, as the other poster said, definitely before there was no marriage or children involved!

 

[DisorientingSneeze]

I still hope that I can reconnect with her in the future.

Some day the desire to reconnect just won’t be there anymore and you’ll both be happy to hear about eachother’s happy marriages or growing families. (unless you or she are called to something else entirely, and that would be good news too!)

 

[TheLittleLady]

One thing, she was baptized Catholic. She is Catholic. She may be a non-practicing Catholic, a fallen away Catholic, but, she will be Catholic in this life and the next. No conversion required, she would simply see a priest and catch up her Sacraments.

A woman who is worried she will make her parents mad is not a woman who is ready for marriage.

 

[Lucy23]

Hello, I’m in a little over 3 year relationship with my BF and we are going through the same thing currently. We want to get married and can’t wait but then we started talking about raising our kids… I am catholic and he is Christian. He wants to raise our kids Christian. I have always been a practicing Catholic and he recently started focusing his life on God & his bible. We do not see eye to eye on a lot of things, My parents would be very mad if we didn’t raise our kids in the Catholic Church. I’m not completely sure how I feel yet on what to do but we are really trying to work things out…we mostly try to focus on our similarities and not our differences in our faith. I guess I’m asking for your help too? I don’t think there’s anyway in knowing one religion or right and one is wrong…it’s just faith …

 

[poche]

Maybe it is better that you breakup now than later on when you are married with children and fighting over where to take them to church.

 

[TheLittleLady]

I am catholic and he is Christian. He wants to raise our kids Christian.

All Catholics are Christians. There are Christians who are not Catholic, they are, however, by virtue of their valid baptism imperfectly joined to the Catholic Church.

I don’t think there’s anyway in knowing one religion or right and one is wrong…it’s just faith …

Religion is either Christian or Jewish or Muslim or Buddhist or Shinto, etc. Catholic Christians and non-Catholic Christians all share the same religion, Christianity.

 

[Sundiver]

I think Catholics are aiming higher while other Christians are aiming lower. More knowledge requires more responsibility.

 

[TC3033]

My question would be: Why so much concentration on whether or not she’ll ever “convert”? My wife and I have been married for over 15 years, and I doubt that I’ll ever convert.

I am catholic and he is Christian.

He wants to raise our kids Christian.

I’m not going to give you too much flack because I know what you mean, but… The bolded is seems opposite to your other thread where it sounded like you said he’s cool with raising them Catholic.

 

[Lucy23]

I understand that, I’m responding to his post I’m sure he understood what I meant.

 

[Lucy23]

I never once said “he’s cool with raising them Catholic” the focus of that post was saints and that he doesn’t agree with praying to them, he doesn’t agree with everything in the Catholic Church. Also, I gave background of his practices and asked questions on the Bible. You can always go back and reread it. Besides, these post are days apart, do you think we haven’t talked more in depth of the conversation?

 

[heidi_storage]

Note: You shouldn’t make decisions based on what’s going to avoid angering your parents. But that’s kind of a side issue, while the main issue is that your boyfriend seems to have strong (nonCatholic) Christian convictions, and you appear to want to raise your kids in the church for reasons of tradition and family-of-origin harmony. I don’t think this conflict will lessen should your hypothetical children become real.

 

[TC3033]

OK…by saying the below, to me anyway, that sounded like he’s cool with raising the kids Catholic (which you’ll have to promise to do your best at in order to be married in a Catholic Church). No big deal. I guess misunderstanding on my part…¯_(ツ)_/¯

is okay getting married in the catholic church, baptizing our children catholic and them attending catholic mass he just does not agree with everything.

do you think we haven’t talked more in depth of the conversation?

I have no idea…it’s possible, or it’s possible that you didn’t. That’s why I was confused.