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ajc82
Guest
I need people to pray for me today. After a year and a half in a painful relationship I decided to break up with my girlfriend/fiancee. I just couldn’t take any more pain.
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forlorn
Guest
Good luck man. Stay strong. Isn’t it funny how we wake up so early on days like this? I found out my wife went on a date and kissed another man while she was out a week ago. She never intended to go beyond kissing and didn’t, but it still hurts so badly.
She insisted I not go with her for monetary reasons but it was because of this planned date.
I will pray for you and ask you to pray for us.
She insisted I not go with her for monetary reasons but it was because of this planned date.
I will pray for you and ask you to pray for us.
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flyingfish
Guest
I’m sorry to hear that. I remember your earlier post where you were concerned about future intimacy with your fiancee, is that why you chose to broke up?
I hope things will be better for you now.
J
just_me_1
Guest
Oh I am so sorry for both of you! I will keep you in my prayers
ajc, you probably did the right thing. it hurts but when you find the right one, you’ll know, and thank God for your decisions last night.
I chose my career (took me out of state) over my boyfriend. it took years to get my head straight but if I hadn’t done that I would have never met my husband or had our child. those years of struggle and heartache were the best thing that ever happened to me.
ajc, you probably did the right thing. it hurts but when you find the right one, you’ll know, and thank God for your decisions last night.
I chose my career (took me out of state) over my boyfriend. it took years to get my head straight but if I hadn’t done that I would have never met my husband or had our child. those years of struggle and heartache were the best thing that ever happened to me.
W
whatevergirl
Guest
Break ups are so hard. But, true love shouldn’t bring you pain, the kind of pain that robs you of joy and peace. Prayers going out to you. (and to her, I’m sure she’s sad over the break up also) :console: 
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1ke
Guest
AJC,
Please make sure you broke up for the right reasons. The last post you made you were thinking about breaking up because you were scared of performing poorly on your wedding night and were having intimacy issues.
Get counseling for your intimacy issues.
And make sure you aren’t throwing away a wonderful girl because of your own fears and issues. You never made any reference to other problems in the relationship, only your fear of having sex.
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ajc82
Guest
Thank you all for your prayers and advice.
My decision wasn’t influenced by my previous post. We had some serious issues beforehand resulting from her struggles with anger and perfectionism. I just got tired of the emotional roller coaster and of feeling suicidal. I need to choose life.
My decision wasn’t influenced by my previous post. We had some serious issues beforehand resulting from her struggles with anger and perfectionism. I just got tired of the emotional roller coaster and of feeling suicidal. I need to choose life.
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1ke
Guest
Well then. It sounds like you have mad a sound decision.
L
Liberanosamalo
Guest
You know, when your relationship goes like this:
“Which is better: dying, or spending one more day with you”
it’s probably an indication that person isn’t good for you.
Been there, done that. Whatevergirl said it well!
I pray you enjoy that moment when you realize you are FREE from someone else’s unrealistic and unkind expectations for you. Being “loved” shouldn’t feel like a dead-end job with a crazy boss.
You did the best thing in the world for taking charge of your own mental health.
Please see a counselor to find out why you were attracted to such a person in the first place. So you don’t repeat that cycle ever again.
There should be a post-breakup after action report people go through (kind of like a mini-annulment application) because that kind of introspection can help one spot bad practices and bad judgment and keep one from repeating it.
Ask yourself: What attracted you to her? What inevitably repelled you? If the answer is the same, you have to ask yourself why you threw yourself into a relationship with someone whose killer fault was so appealing to you. That is an issue in YOU.
If what attracted you to her was not the thing that repelled you, you need to examine your judgment and skills in evaluating the whole person before you get involved. Did she deceive you as to her personality? Did you ignore all the signs? Was she a good person otherwise, but just not for you? How can you discern that trait in others to avoid a repetition?
This is a learning experience for you. Pat yourself on the back for not marrying your biggest problem.
“Which is better: dying, or spending one more day with you”
it’s probably an indication that person isn’t good for you.
Been there, done that. Whatevergirl said it well!
I pray you enjoy that moment when you realize you are FREE from someone else’s unrealistic and unkind expectations for you. Being “loved” shouldn’t feel like a dead-end job with a crazy boss.
You did the best thing in the world for taking charge of your own mental health.
Please see a counselor to find out why you were attracted to such a person in the first place. So you don’t repeat that cycle ever again.
There should be a post-breakup after action report people go through (kind of like a mini-annulment application) because that kind of introspection can help one spot bad practices and bad judgment and keep one from repeating it.
Ask yourself: What attracted you to her? What inevitably repelled you? If the answer is the same, you have to ask yourself why you threw yourself into a relationship with someone whose killer fault was so appealing to you. That is an issue in YOU.
If what attracted you to her was not the thing that repelled you, you need to examine your judgment and skills in evaluating the whole person before you get involved. Did she deceive you as to her personality? Did you ignore all the signs? Was she a good person otherwise, but just not for you? How can you discern that trait in others to avoid a repetition?
This is a learning experience for you. Pat yourself on the back for not marrying your biggest problem.
F
forlorn
Guest
Just wanted to update this. My wife and I have met with our parish priest and are working things out. It turns out that she was quite intoxicated when the kiss in question happened and never meant the situation to be a date.
There was some not so good behavior obviously, but it was not nearly as bad as I made it out to be in my mind. After talking with our priest we are going to attend a marriage retreat in January and work on our communication.
This also uncovered some issues that I did not know about that I can work on in order to be a better husband. I am forgiving her slowly, I just hope she learns to forgive herself as well.
There was some not so good behavior obviously, but it was not nearly as bad as I made it out to be in my mind. After talking with our priest we are going to attend a marriage retreat in January and work on our communication.
This also uncovered some issues that I did not know about that I can work on in order to be a better husband. I am forgiving her slowly, I just hope she learns to forgive herself as well.
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forlorn
Guest
BTW AJC I hope things are going well for you. I am still praying for you.
R
Rascalking
Guest
I am so sorry for you. I’ll pray for you my friend.
It doesn’t help right now, but we’ve all been there before.
I’ll raise a cyber beer for you.
It doesn’t help right now, but we’ve all been there before.
I’ll raise a cyber beer for you.
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Catholic1954
Guest
No one deserves to live with someone else’s anger. You made the right decision; stay strong, be good to yourself and things will improve for you in the New Year.
D
Della
Guest
I can so relate to you in this, ajc82. I had a relationship that I wanted very badly to work but just didn’t, too, a long time ago. When I finally realized it just wasn’t going to happen, it took me a couple of years to get over it. At the time it seems like nothing will ever be right again and there’s no future, but things will get better and there is a future. Now I’m sooooooooooooooo thankful to God I didn’t marry the guy I thought was so right for me. I can’t even imagine where I’d be or what would have happened but I know it wouldn’t have been good. Hang in there. God is with you and loving you dearly in all this. One day you’ll understand how good making this decision was. Just take care of yourself now and don’t try to make any more major decisions, but let your heart and mind rest and heal. All will be well once again. You have my prayers, as well. :console:
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chevalier
Guest
Now that you say, similar here. On some days I have some memories coming to me, but it gets better with time. Sometimes the first couple of months can be awful.
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