I
Irised
Guest
I have resorted to asking for assistance in an online, anonymous way because although I have contemplated asking my own parish priest for guidance, I wouldn’t want him to know so much because I am more or lessly a private person, which is why I am surprised that I’m even taking the time to admit I need guidance.
This is a question on keeping the faith.
I am a high school student; I’m going to be a junior at a public school in the fall. I had attended a private Catholic middle school my entire life beforehand, it was only after I attended public that I have started having doubts on my faith because I have been exposed to much worse things.
When I was 13 years old my father passed away. He had been sick his entire life, I remember being 8 years old and he couldn’t attend my First Communion because he was dying in a hospital because of complications with a kidney and liver transplant. Eventually he pulled through, but not without dozens of medications to keep him alive.
The year he passed away I remember he seemed very depressed. He would threaten to my mother that he was going to stop taking his medicines because he couldn’t take it any more. I do not know the exact amount he was taking but I’m guessing it was around 20 a day, each for something different. Later that year he went on a business trip and got sick. He came home and a few days later drove himself to the emergency room. Doctors found he had a kidney stone in his transplanted kidney, and refused to do anything about it at first because they didn’t want to be liable because it was not their transplant, it was a much more advanced hospital’s job–Northwestern of Chicago. They wanted my father to consent to another transplant but he refused. He didn’t want to go through the pain again. Eventually he was transferred to Northwestern again and they tried to get the kidney stone out but there was too much blood and clotting. He developed sepsis and essentially every one of his systems began to fail.
Doctors asked my mother repeatedly to sign the DNR forms for him, and I remember her screaming back that she couldn’t because she had my sister and I to worry about. He passed about a week after.
About a month after his passing my mother and I were going through his nightstand and found bottles of pills. Hundreds. Filled. It was obvious that he had not been taking them like he should have been. My daddy didn’t want to live. He killed himself.
Fast forward about 2 years and I had closure, somewhat. But I healed through my patient boyfriend, not through the Lord. We have been together since September 5th, 2011.
He has lost a lot of faith as well, he was severely depressed and attempted suicide. But I called him back and we have been together since. But his family is moving to Dallas, TX in less than month. I have never loved anyone as much as I have loved him and I am afraid of how the move will affect our relationship. As it is, my mother does not approve of our relationship because of the town he is from and will not let me see him, so I see him in secret from time to time.
Not only is the love of my life moving far away from me, but my best friend was just released from a psychiatric ward for attempted suicide. And I deal with daily insults from my younger sister about how I was born.
My mother could not get pregnant after having my older sister, so she turned to invitro fertilization. They were my father’s sperm cells, not a donors. I was a miracle baby, born through crio invitro fertilization. But I know that the Catholic church does not approve of that. My sister tells me that God does not love me because He did not create me.
Does God really not love me because of the way I was created, of which I had no control over? Did my beloved father go to heaven, even though he engaged in the way I was conceived, and was so miserable he wanted to end his life? Will my guardian angel, if they exist, guide me through the emotional suffering I will be put through when my boyfriend moves away? Why didn’t God guide my father? Is there hope for me?
I have lost a lot of faith pondering these questions.
Thank you for your help and guidance.
Anonymous
This is a question on keeping the faith.
I am a high school student; I’m going to be a junior at a public school in the fall. I had attended a private Catholic middle school my entire life beforehand, it was only after I attended public that I have started having doubts on my faith because I have been exposed to much worse things.
When I was 13 years old my father passed away. He had been sick his entire life, I remember being 8 years old and he couldn’t attend my First Communion because he was dying in a hospital because of complications with a kidney and liver transplant. Eventually he pulled through, but not without dozens of medications to keep him alive.
The year he passed away I remember he seemed very depressed. He would threaten to my mother that he was going to stop taking his medicines because he couldn’t take it any more. I do not know the exact amount he was taking but I’m guessing it was around 20 a day, each for something different. Later that year he went on a business trip and got sick. He came home and a few days later drove himself to the emergency room. Doctors found he had a kidney stone in his transplanted kidney, and refused to do anything about it at first because they didn’t want to be liable because it was not their transplant, it was a much more advanced hospital’s job–Northwestern of Chicago. They wanted my father to consent to another transplant but he refused. He didn’t want to go through the pain again. Eventually he was transferred to Northwestern again and they tried to get the kidney stone out but there was too much blood and clotting. He developed sepsis and essentially every one of his systems began to fail.
Doctors asked my mother repeatedly to sign the DNR forms for him, and I remember her screaming back that she couldn’t because she had my sister and I to worry about. He passed about a week after.
About a month after his passing my mother and I were going through his nightstand and found bottles of pills. Hundreds. Filled. It was obvious that he had not been taking them like he should have been. My daddy didn’t want to live. He killed himself.
Fast forward about 2 years and I had closure, somewhat. But I healed through my patient boyfriend, not through the Lord. We have been together since September 5th, 2011.
He has lost a lot of faith as well, he was severely depressed and attempted suicide. But I called him back and we have been together since. But his family is moving to Dallas, TX in less than month. I have never loved anyone as much as I have loved him and I am afraid of how the move will affect our relationship. As it is, my mother does not approve of our relationship because of the town he is from and will not let me see him, so I see him in secret from time to time.
Not only is the love of my life moving far away from me, but my best friend was just released from a psychiatric ward for attempted suicide. And I deal with daily insults from my younger sister about how I was born.
My mother could not get pregnant after having my older sister, so she turned to invitro fertilization. They were my father’s sperm cells, not a donors. I was a miracle baby, born through crio invitro fertilization. But I know that the Catholic church does not approve of that. My sister tells me that God does not love me because He did not create me.
Does God really not love me because of the way I was created, of which I had no control over? Did my beloved father go to heaven, even though he engaged in the way I was conceived, and was so miserable he wanted to end his life? Will my guardian angel, if they exist, guide me through the emotional suffering I will be put through when my boyfriend moves away? Why didn’t God guide my father? Is there hope for me?
I have lost a lot of faith pondering these questions.
Thank you for your help and guidance.
ask yours to pray with and for you. Just try it. You’ll be surprised. There is always hope for you - you are God’s child! Never let anyone tell you differently. Your father had free will as do you. He made his choices, but you can still pray for him too. Be cautious of your choices and trust in the Lord. Most importantly, never forget how special and loved you are…