Broken Hearted...Help : (

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Windmill said:
I know what you mean. You give a part of yourself to someone in a relationship, and when it is ended, you almost feel like part of you has died.

My advice for your uncertainty about being able to have a future with someone else is not to dwell on the emptiness right now. That can lead to despair, self-pity, or restlessness. None of those will help heal things. Again, I know from experience. The only thing that helped me was to seek God with all my heart and not be anxious about what will happen tomorrow or the next day. Looking back, I can see the times I tried to fill that emptiness with something or someone other than Him resulted in delayed healing. The times that I prayed more and tried to find joy in non-romantic things - I found a great peace.

When I ultimately found my wife-to-be, my heart was ready to receive her. We have been through many trials with children’s illnesses, finances, and such, but because I knew God was my first love, I knew I could trust the woman he’d sent me to be with my whole life.

Don’t be anxious about the future. Take it a day at a time.
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Thank you for reminding me, Windmill, I did lose my way when I was in the 7 year dysfunctional relationship. I looked to my guy for a lot of things that I should have been looking to God for. I did feel like I lost a huge part of myself and felt sorry about that for way too long.
We all have that emptiness which only a relationship with God can fill.
I learned a lot about myself by “losing” him. Yes, people can change, but very often they do not. Broken Hearted, I would pray for him as never before~~I think that would help you, as well as him. I have only seen the guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with 4 times by accident in the last 9 years. He has stayed away because he knows how much he hurt me and does care and did not want to do further damage. It would be so helpful if your guy could take a step back; but he may be persistent. Keep seeking God and listening to your parents and other spiritual advisers. I know I could not think clearly at all when I was broken hearted.
One day at a time is a good message. Also, think about the things you **can **change (yourself, for one) and the things you cannot (him).
You are in my prayers.
 
I also meant to say that he probably does not understand why you do not want to be with him. Our partners/friends are not mind readers. I would not try to discuss anything now, if it were me. It sounds like things went too far for a reconciliation.

In my experience, controlling people do not think they are doing anything wrong.
 
continued daily prayers for you and this situation. Lord hear our prayers. :signofcross:
 
jennina67 said:
Broken Hearted, I would pray for him as never before~~I think that would help you, as well as him. I have only seen the guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with 4 times by accident in the last 9 years. He has stayed away because he knows how much he hurt me and does care and did not want to do further damage. It would be so helpful if your guy could take a step back; but he may be persistent. Keep seeking God and listening to your parents and other spiritual advisers. I know I could not think clearly at all when I was broken hearted.
One day at a time is a good message. Also, think about the things you **can **change (yourself, for one) and the things you cannot (him).
You are in my prayers.
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Thank you. I will make sure to keep praying for him since it really does seem to help me and hopefully it’ll help him. The last time I “ended” things with him, he was incredibly persistent (he called me for days asking me to re-consider etc.), but this time he’s been very good about it. I don’t know what my dad said to him, but he seems to have listened. That’s wonderful advice…I’ll really try to work on myself right now too. I know that I could definitely change a few things. I feel terribly immature right now since I’m still frustrated with my parents, even though I know they’re just trying to help me out. I don’t act like I’m frustrated around them, but I’m not making much of an effort to talk. It seems like the more frustrated I am with them, the less sad I am, but I know that can’t be a good thing. Oh’ dear…
jennina67 said:
I also meant to say that he probably does not understand why you do not want to be with him. Our partners/friends are not mind readers. I would not try to discuss anything now, if it were me. It sounds like things went too far for a reconciliation.
(In my experience, controlling people do not think they are doing anything wrong.
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Yeah, I don’t think he understands and that’s what’s so hard. I would do anything for reconciliation and I honestly don’t have any hard feelings towards him at all (I sure wish I did sometimes), but I think that trying to “fix” things on our own is only going to make it harder right now. I truly don’t think he’s ever intentionally tried hurt me (my parents don’t either). I just think he doesn’t see how controlling/manipulative he can be and, until he does, I guess nothing can change. For example, during the month my dad asked him to leave me alone, he emailed my brother and told him that he was moving across the country to go to a new college (he even sent a link to the school, told my brother what day he was leaving etc.). He said that he didn’t have much to stay for around here and that, besides my dog, nobody would really miss him anyway. I was soooo upset when I heard that he was going to leave (I couldn’t stop crying, I didn’t sleep for a second that night…) and I was going completely crazy wondering if I should call him up and beg him to stay. Anyway, the next day he emailed my brother again and told him it was all a “joke”. When my dad told him how dissapointed he was that he’d do a “prank” like that, especially since the young man knew I wasn’t supposed to call him…he really didn’t even seem to see what the problem was :(. We’d all love to give him the benefit of the doubt (Maybe he didn’t know my brother would tell me about the email? Maybe it really was just meant to be a joke etc.?), but then again…:(. I really don’t want to make it sound like this guy is a bad guy. Maybe we just aren’t right for each other :(. I know I’ve done plenty of wrong things in this relationship too (for one thing, I’ve been terrible about communication) and I think he’s just confused right now. Maybe being apart will help him sort things out a little.

Sorry, this is getting so long again. It feels really strange to write about this stuff since I don’t ever talk about it to anyone. After reading what I’ve written, I feel like someone on a dramatic T.V. show (I’ve always laughed about shows like that) and I really don’t mean to sound so depressing. I’m sorry I haven’t responded to every post, but I’m truly thankful every response. Thank you all so much for your prayers!
 
Sarah,
Have been in you shoes in a similar situation. Prayer will be your only refuge and putting your complete faith in Christ. I pray for you and your wellbeing by saying:

Our Father, who art in Heaven.
Hollowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done.
On earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses and we forgive who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

God Bless you in your journey through a tough life lesson. 🙂
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
adbridges said:
Sarah,
Have been in you shoes in a similar situation. Prayer will be your only refuge and putting your complete faith in Christ. I pray for you and your wellbeing by saying:

Our Father, who art in Heaven.
Hollowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done.
On earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses and we forgive who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

God Bless you in your journey through a tough life lesson. 🙂
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Amen. :signofcross:
 
Our father, who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done,
On Earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us,
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession and was left forsaken. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you I come, before you I stand, a sorrowful sinner. Despise not my words, O Mother of the Word, but in your mercy, hear and answer me.
Amen
 
All good advice. Nothing I can add. I hope things are going better for you. I am continuing to pray daily for you and this situation. :signofcross: Amen :hug3:
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me Amen
 
Thank you all for your prayers. Any continued prayers would be greatly appreciated…I thought I’d be able to get over this quicker and it almost seems to be getting worse :(. I was doing a little better for a short while (I was making sure to spend a lot more time with my family etc.), but I still feel so unsettled and even depressed. It’s pathetic really (I’m starting to get seriously frustrated with myself). Thanks!
 
Lord please help Sarah and grant her healing and calm and peace that she may cope with all the emotional turmoil she is going through.Thankyou Lord for hearign our prayers Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me Amen
 
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