Brother Jerome on Discipline: 'crime' and punishment

[BarbaraTherese]

Here are some more words of insight and wisdom from Brother Jerome of St. Mary’s Benedictine Monastery in Petersham, MA. It is actually a commentary on a clause from the Rule of St. Benedict. I dont have a link as it comes into my Inbox daily without a link, but if anyone would like to join the Yahoo Group and receive the commentary daily:

To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to: holyrule-subscribe@yahoogroups.comTo

…I did email Brother Jerome quite some time back and he gave me his permission to quote his reflections in full if I wished.

While I often suffer from the loneliness of being single, I never,
ever regret the fact that I am childless. Quite the reverse! I always
find myself deeply grateful that I have not had to face the challengeof raising children. I have the deepest respect for those who do.
Having taught for a while, I know all too well how daunting it can
be, even just part-time in the classroom.

I also know from teaching that, while we did not use corporal
punishment at all, there were a few rare times when I wished that wecould. There were some children that I felt that possibly nothing elsecould reach. I also know that was something of a cop-out on my partto even entertain such thoughts. At the end of one’s rope, all mannerof drastic things pop into one’s head. I am in no way sure that any use of violence doesn’t just breed more violence, in fact, it probably does. Change effected only by fear is not usually lasting or good.

Faced with such a problem, I don’t know what one does,
other than hope and pray, literally, that the child will improve.
Praying, we must always recall IS doing something, not mere passivity!
I can assure you that, just as there are deeply toxic adults, there
are, alas, toxic children, too. I know. I have taught them. I don’t
mean that we should stoop to violence, but how does one reach such achild? I have never been able to answer that.

We are social primates. We have a cross and burden to bear for our elevation above the rest of the primate world, a responsibility. Fora baboon troop, this is a no-brainer: drive the loser out of the
troop. After that, the next stop is the Lions’ Pride Cafe and one
becomes an entree. Tempting as that kind of abdication may be, it issomething to which we can never resort.

I think we need to cling to the Benedictine model in such situationspunish only to reform, not for revenge, not to destroy; punish appropriately, moderately in ways that will be understood and thatfit the offense justly. When all that fails (and even before, whilewe’re watching it fail slowly!) PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! To pray is NOT to do nothing. And it is often the only tool we have.

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB