Brother living in sin...what should I do?

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Palma_Exsisto

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Hi all,

My younger brother separated from his wife of five years about 12 months ago. They are not yet divorced, but for the past eight months he has been seeing another woman who has two children and I know they are sleeping together.

I am finding it incredibly awkward seeing him with someone new…what do I tell him, if anything? 🤷

He was brought up Christian but since separating with his wife has apparently abandoned all faith.
 
Pray for him and remind him about Deus Caritas Est (God is Love).
 
Either personally confront him about it.

Or pray that God may send him a message through other means.

In either case, pray that your brother’s heart may be softened in order to more graciously receive the Word of God in whatsoever form it may come. Then might his actions transform accordingly.
 
There’s no blanket answer. Much of what you ought to do depends on your relationship with your brother. If you two are close, then perhaps speaking a word is in order – if you know he will simply despise you, then there is no reason.

Also,
He is in a rebound situation – and none of us knows the reason he separated from his first wife. Were they married in the Catholic Church? Are they both Baptized? Was she abusive – or did he just “get tired of her”, etc.

I would encourage you – although I am ignorant of the specifics which might change my mind – I would encourage you to set aside the conclusion that your brother has lost all faith. Anger can temporarily blind people – they will sometimes act as if they had rejected all Faith, when in fact – they believe.

Depending on the evidence you have of their sleeping together – eg: were you told, or are you surmising that your brother is weak, etc. I would at least mention your concerns from your faith. It could be something as simple as asking him if he decided to stop going to church (or whatever you have seen) because he’s infatuated with another woman, and if he thinks it is permanent.

Don’t tell him he’s going to hell, etc. For that just strokes the anger, generally speaking. Being an older brother who might have picked on the younger one earlier – don’t feel obliged to force any issues; that oftentimes backfires. It is best to offer help should he want it; eg: if you would like some help with being tempted to stay over, I could call for you to give you an excuse to leave – etc.
Beyond that – I wouldn’t do anything but pray.

Peace.

–Andrew.
 
Treat your brother with the utmost of love. Be kind to his new woman and children. Go to mass and pray for him before the Blessed Sacrament, and pray to the Holy Spirit for opportunities to gently evangelize. Give your brother a scapular and a card telling him you are praying for him and love him dearly. I will pray that God changes his heart.
 
Irish_Becca said:
Treat your brother with the utmost of love. Be kind to his new woman and children. Go to mass and pray for him before the Blessed Sacrament, and pray to the Holy Spirit for opportunities to gently evangelize. Give your brother a scapular and a card telling him you are praying for him and love him dearly. I will pray that God changes his heart.
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Very, very well said.
 
Irish_Becca said:
Treat your brother with the utmost of love. Be kind to his new woman and children. Go to mass and pray for him before the Blessed Sacrament, and pray to the Holy Spirit for opportunities to gently evangelize. Give your brother a scapular and a card telling him you are praying for him and love him dearly. I will pray that God changes his heart.
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I think this is the best advice I’ve ever seen on this site!!!
 
Irish_Becca said:
Treat your brother with the utmost of love. Be kind to his new woman and children. Go to mass and pray for him before the Blessed Sacrament, and pray to the Holy Spirit for opportunities to gently evangelize. Give your brother a scapular and a card telling him you are praying for him and love him dearly. I will pray that God changes his heart.
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Great advise, I concur!
 
I’ll be kind to the children, who are innocent. I would probably have a few choice words, though, for a mother who would model such disrespect for marriage and the power of sexuality to her children as an example!

I pretty much told my own brother something similar, and he didn’t speak to me for two years… 🤷
 
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