Andreas Hofer:
Secondly, Christian “good” desires can still be this-worldly and thus expose us to the suffering that Buddhism is supposed to be freeing us from. I’ve never seen any list of proper vs. improper Buddhist desires, which makes it hard to understand. If I love my neighbor, I will suffer when he gets cancer and dies. Is there a rule that suffering due to good desires is actually not a problem, whereas suffering due to bad desires is a danger to your enlightenment?
I think the confusion here is between physical suffering and mental suffering. The “suffering” spoken of by the Buddha refers (for all practical purposes) to mental suffering, when your mind is captured by hatred, fear, and obsession. That is the suffering that the four noble truths are meant to end. Which means that as long as a human being is alive, there will be the potential for physical suffering (bodily pain, e.g.), even if one’s mind is free from mental suffering.
Compassion, sympathy, empathy, lovingkindness, all directed towards someone who suffers from cancer – these emotional states are not forms of mental suffering. In fact, the Buddha encouraged his disciples to cultivate such positive emotions. What the Buddha discouraged was becoming severely discouraged, disillusioned, or despairing in the face of sheer pain and powerlessness (as in the case of cancer). One can enter deeply into sympathy, empathy, and compassion (which are one type of “suffering”) for the cancer sufferer, but what good would it do to lose ones sense of hope and trust in life (another type of “suffering”)?
There are actually two types of nibbana/nirvana. The first one occurs while you are alive in a physical body (and in Buddhism, you can realize nibbana only while as a physical body, so the body is very precious in Buddhism, unlike in some Gnostic traditions). This is the nibbana that is defined by the cessation of mental suffering.
The second type of nibbana occurs when someone who has realized the end of mental suffering, dies, and never takes another birth in any form – whether physical or spiritual. In this case, physical suffering has ended as well. But one has to realize the first type of nibbana – in the physical body – before the ultimate type of nibbana can be realized.
So suffering, either mental or physical, isn’t something merely bad and to be avoided. If you simply avoid it, you won’t be able to understand it, nor go beyond it. You can’t go
around suffering if you want to end it; you have to go
through it. You have to make it your friend, before you can wave it good-bye.
As the Buddhist teacher Shantideva wrote about a thousand years ago:
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Furthermore, suffering has good qualities:
Through being disheartened with it, arrogance is dispelled,
Compassion arises for those in cyclic existence [samsara],
Evil is shunned and joy is found in virtue.