Building a Faith Not Based on Fear

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I can identify with most of this. I’ve had many reminders of my baptism lately and am trying to cling to the hope those have given me. I have difficulty believing I belong within the faith and that’s been increasingly hard. & I do believe God is in charge of my life but the way life has been over the last few years makes the belief in a loving or merciful God seem unlikely. I’m sorry for how that sounds.

The rosary I credit largely with jump starting my prayer life and had a strong devotion to it prior to becoming Catholic. Since then though it’s a prayer I no longer enjoy.

I have never tried the Divine Office. Do you have any recommendations for getting started on this? I don’t know much about it. Isn’t it several times a day? Do you pray it fully?
 
But Martin Luther left the faith 😥 That’s exactly what I’m afraid is going to happen and it’s already come close a few times. That is a very kind offer and I would very much enjoy working through it if you were willing.
 
Marie16 said:
I have never tried the Divine Office. Do you have any recommendations for getting started on this? I don’t know much about it. Isn’t it several times a day? Do you pray it fully?
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I suggest The Little Office of The Blessed Virgin Mary you can get it from any Catholic book store. It’s the Divine Office without all the options. Day one through Day seven Morning & Evening Prayers are listed for each day of the week. Te Deum, Office of Reading, day time prayer & night time prayer are straight forward & laid our as such.

It’s not as rich as the full office, because you’ll be reading the same Psalms over & over again. But it allows you to focus on the rhythm & “habit” of prayer. It’s also a good way to really learn the selection of Psalms. After a few weeks, they become a part of you.
 
If I cry over my sins all the time, I am focused on myself. To delight in one’s sinfulness is because they really do reveal and glorify The Mercy of God. This is a shift of emphasis from (crying over) one’s sinfulness to delight in The Love and Mercy of God. One is not so much delighting in one’s sins, but in the Glory of The Mercy of God which has forgiven and also forgotten completely that sin.

After all, if one considers oneself full of virtue, one might consider one does not need so much (or at all!) The Mercy of God. Neither does the person who only commits venial sins have the personal ability to reveal in one’s own person the extent of The Majesty and Glory of The Mercy of God.

Great sins, when repented of fully, reveal just how glorious the Mercy of God is because His Mercy is greater than the greatest of my sins. Even the greatest and most terrible of sins once repented of fully, arouse in The Lord His Forgiveness, through His Loving Mercy, which has not only forgiven but also forgotten that sin.

Hope that might help a bit. St Therese says it so beautifully in very few words.

Beware of presumption however.
 
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Marie16 said:
I have felt the same way. I often question why I cannot as easily accept God’s love as true as others appear to accept it. I hate how hopeless it makes me feel about my faith life and salvation, especially when I’ve been trying so hard to live a more faithful life and it all feels… rather useless. I hope He sees my attempts and they have some value to Him… but I can’t say I’m sure.
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It is a journey. For some there might be an overnight miracle, but for most it is a journey. It is pushing through that time when “I’ve been trying so hard to live a more faithful life and it all feels rather useless”

Indeed The Lord does see your attempts as having great value. After Confession one Saturday as I left The Church, Father was outside talking to some parishioners. As I passed, he acknowledged me and with a smile I said “I just might get an A for effort I think, Father”.

Father replied - “And The Lord loves and values those who are efforters”.
I am not sure how to do the following: " Rather than several replies to a topic in a row, please consider a single reply that includes quotes from previous posts or @name references.

You can edit your previous reply to add a quote by highlighting text and selecting the quote reply button that appears.

It’s easier for everyone to read topics that have fewer in-depth replies versus lots of small, individual replies."

But I am making a real effort 😊…and hope to master it in time.
 
BarbTh said:
For some there might be an overnight miracle, but for most it is a journey. It is pushing through that time when “I’ve been trying so hard to live a more faithful life and it all feels rather useless”
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When I think about this, I recall how the Lord changed Jacob’s name to Israel.
 
Cjbhoward said:
When I think about this, I recall how the Lord changed Jacob’s name to Israel.
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Spot on and well said.
Thank you very much for reminding me of the story of Jacob - another very important figure in Scripture with quite a colourful story. These guys certainly are very human and no angels. This continues right on down through the New Testament and the twelve Jesus chooses to be His apostles.

The story of Jacob: http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0839/__PY.HTM (The story of Jacob wrestling with God or an angel, I can’t remember which, and The Lord changing Jacob’s name to Israel begins at Verse 23)- The whole story of Jacob begins further back in Genesis and continues after Chapter 32.
Jacob does not come through his ordeal unscathed, which reminds me of St Paul and “the thorn” in his side:… “Therefore, that I might not become too elated a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated.
I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.” (Second Letter to The Corinthians Chapter 12 http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0839/__PZY.HTM)
…which reflects the words of St Therese that she can delight in her failings because it gives Glory to God (paraphrased).
 
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Maybe the answer lies in the assessment of Pope John Paul ii. Consider the following passage.
The Holy Scriptures contain an insistent exhortation to cultivate the fear of God. We are speaking here of that fear which is a gift of the Holy Spirit. Among the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, indicated in the words of Isaiah (Is 11:2), fear of God is listed last, but that does not mean it is the least significant, since it is precisely fear of God that is the beginning of wisdom. And among the gifts of the Holy Spirit, wisdom holds first place. Therefore, we need to pray that people everywhere and especially in our own time will receive the fear of God.
From the Holy Scriptures we also know that this fear – the origin of wisdom – has nothing in common with the fear of a slave. It is filial fear, not servile fear! The Hegelian paradigm of master-slave is foreign to the Gospel. It is a paradigm drawn from a world in which God is absent. In a world in which God is truly present, in the world of divine wisdom, only filial fear can be present.
The authentic and full expression of this fear is Christ Himself. Christ wants us to have fear of all that is an offense to God. He wants this because He has come into the world in order to set man free for freedom. Man is set free through love, because love is the source par excellence of all that is good. This love, accoding to the words of Saint John, drives out all fear (1 Jn 4:18). Every sign of servile fear vanishes before the awesome power of the All-powerful and All-present One.
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Works Cited
John Paul ii. 1994. Crossing the Threshold of Hope. New York: Knopf.
 
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Edwyn said:
“We are not saints who cry over our sins; we take delight in them because they serve to glorify the mercy of God” (St. Therese of Lisieux)
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quote certainly taken out of context because it counter-tells the teaching of the Church that requires contrition, if we want to have a hope to receive God’s forgiveness.
In other words, if one is not saddened by one’s sins, one can not benefit from the mercy of God, it is the minimum to hope to receive the forgiveness of God. If one confesses without having at least the will to be saddened by one’s sins then it is a null confession, even a sacrilegious confession.
 
Mboo said:
it’s not fair, you cry your sins because they offended God, so it’s not necessarily because you’re focusing on yourself
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In a way you are correct and it is certainly a stage of the journey of repentance and renewal or metanoia here. As it were, we visit that stage but we do not set up camp in that stage. We might even visit that stage now and then.

Of course, we should cry over our sins and because we have offended God but if one is forever crying over one’s sins “all the time”, then one is focused on oneself and not sighting and embracing the Loving Mercy of God that has not only forgiven those sins but has completely forgotten them and this latter is the most important aspect of the Forgiveness of God. In other words, in consistently crying over one’s sins one is not seeing the whole picture, nor the most important aspect of the whole picture.
The most important aspect (and indeed work) of the repentant sinner is to proclaim the wondrous Loving Mercy of God. The greater the sinner, the greater is the Loving Mercy of God he or she has received.
The truth of the matter is that The Lord has completely forgotten the sin or sins in His Forgiveness…and “we have the mind of Christ” (First Letter to The Corinthians, Chapter 2) http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0839/__PZ7.HTM Jesus has forgiven and forgotten and so we must also forgive ourselves and forget (a journey usually)…we put on “the Mind of Christ” who has not only forgiven but forgotten. After a good Confession, we have a completely clean slate to continue on in our journey. What a wonder and a great gift! How desperately the world needs us to share this astounding blessing of The Love and Mercy of God. We could state that it summarizes the Old and New Testament.

In St Faustina’s diary, Jesus says to her:
“ The graces I grant you are not for you alone, but for a great number of other souls as well… And your heart is My constant dwelling place, despite the misery that you are. I unite Myself with you, take away your misery and give you My mercy. I perform works of mercy in every soul. **_The greater the sinner, the greater the right he has to My mercy_.** My mercy is confirmed in every work of My hands. He who trusts in My mercy will not perish, for all his affairs are Mine, and his enemies will be shattered at the base of My footstool ”. https://www.divinemercy.org/element...n-divine-mercy/112-trust-in-divine-mercy.html

The above is only my two cents, and I hope it might help.
 
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BarbTh said:
Of course, we should cry over our sins and because we have offended God but if one is forever crying over one’s sins “all the time”, then one is focused on oneself
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not necessarily, true contrition lasts until death, we must always have contrition every time we have the memory of our sin, even if we have already confessed this sin, at least it is the opinion from St Thomas
BarbTh said:
The most important aspect (and indeed work) of the repentant sinner is to proclaim the wondrous Loving Mercy of God
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it is our contrition that enables the mercy of God to manifest itself. On the other hand, even though God has forgiven our sins, he has not yet erased all the pain due to these sins. Permanent contrition helps with that. And finally, permanent contrition helps not to commit the same sins again.
what I say there are my opinions, but one must read St. Thomas, he answered point by point the objections against permanent contrition
 
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Mboo said:
BarbTh: Of course, we should cry over our sins and because we have offended God but if one is forever crying over one’s sins “all the time”, then one is focused on oneself

Mboo: not necessarily, true contrition lasts until death, we must always have contrition every time we have the memory of our sin, even if we have already confessed this sin, at least it is the opinion from St Thomas
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Very true in my book that true contrition will last until death and at times one will weep over one’s sinfulness. Until death there will be a certain sorrow deep in the soul. However The Loving Mercy of God which has visited the sinner in a concrete and meaningful way will gender great humility, Peace and Joy with praise and thanksgiving in the soul.

If I proclaim The Love and Mercy of God but am continually weeping over my sinfulness then it certainly will communicate to others my great sorrow for my sins, but something greater than my sinfulness is here and to be proclaimed and that is The Loving Mercy of God and the very real and profound affect it has on the soul, on the person. The Love of The Lord and His Mercy visited on the sinner in a quite concrete manner will also generate in the soul the response of a great desire and hope to never offend God again, even move the person to great sorrow to God for past sinfulness too. It is a Love response.

As I see it at 73 years of age almost.
 
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BarbTh said:
If I proclaim The Love and Mercy of God but am continually weeping over my sinfulness then it certainly will communicate to others my great sorrow for my sins, but something greater than my sinfulness is here and to be proclaimed and that is The Loving Mercy of God and the very real and profound affect it has on the soul, on the person.
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A great testimony of the mercy of God is when we testify, among other things, to the grace of tears (for our sins) which he has given us, the grace of doing works of penance which he has given us.
 
Mboo said:
A great testimony of the mercy of God is when we testify, among other things, to the grace of tears (for our sins) which he has given us, the grace of doing works of penance which he has given us.
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The Gift of Tears is a great gift as is the Grace of doing works of penance. This is why I do appreciate Lent in particular when The Universal Church remembers that we are but dust and into dust we shall return and we join together in a spirit of penance and sorrow for sin. I really do love the liturgical rhythm of The Church Year: " There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens
" etc …http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0839/__PKY.HTM
 
Marie16 said:
But Martin Luther left the faith
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He did? That is an interesting take on Martine Luther. Martin Luther continued to preach the faith passionately throughout his life. If anything his reforms shed much needed light back onto the gospel. If you would like to study Paul’s epistle to the Romans, let me know.
 
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Marie16 said:
I’ve come to realize over the last several months the negativity I associate with my faith and how much this causes so many of my struggles. I want to work on changing this but need some ideas. With that being said, I like to think I’m a rational person and don’t want just empty happy thoughts. That’s not helpful. I want a strong faith in a loving God who I know I can trust instead of always being fearful and anxious when I think of Him.

Hopefully this doesn’t sound silly. If anyone else has struggled with this I would love to know what you have tried.
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Fear has more than one sense: Merriam Webster
fear, transitive verb
1) to be afraid of : expect with alarm // fear the worst
2) to have a reverential awe of // fear God

Haydock Commentary on 1 John 4:18 is:
Ver. 18. Fear is not in charity, &c. By the fear, which a perfect charity and love of God excludes, we may understand a fear of temporal losses in this world, of the loss of goods, of banishment, of torments, of death itself, which the love of God made so many glorious martyrs contemn; or an anxious servile fear of punishment in the next world, for the more perfect charity and the love of God is, so much the more doth it banish this imperfect and servile fear; but as perfect charity does not exclude a love, and constant desire of loving God as our last end, for whose enjoyment we were created, so it does not exclude a fear of displeasing, offending, and losing him by sin. Wi.

— Perfect charity, or love, banisheth human fear, that is, the fear of men; as also all perplexing fear, which makes men mistrust or despair of God’s mercy; and that kind of servile fear, which makes them fear the punishment of sin more than the offence offered to God. But it no way excludes the wholesome fear of God’s judgments, so often recommended in holy writ, nor that fear and trembling with which we are told to work out our salvation. Phil. ii. 12. Ch.
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