Burdened by Guilt

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Heavy_Cross

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I have a hard time being Catholic because of the guilt I feel. I do sinful acts and my conscience punishes me badly. I always worry that God will find me lacking. I so badly want to be justified that sometimes I read the teachings of Luther. He was also very worried that whatever good he did in life, God would not accept him. Through that worry he developed the concept of “faith alone does the justification.” I want to develop an image of a forgiving Christ, but sometimes the legalism of the Catholic church scares me. I look at these boards, and some posters are quick to point out errors in judgement without any kind of compassion. What type of advice can you give me to relieve my guilt?
 
+JMJ+

Humble Confidence
We have been trained in the habit of looking at our dark side, our ugliness, and not at the purifying Sun, Light of Light, which He is, who changes the dust that we are into pure gold. We think about examining ourselves, yet we do not think, before the examination, during the examination, and sitter the examination, to plunge ourselves, with all our miseries, into the consuming and transforming furnace of His Heart, which is open to us through a single humble act of confidence.

I am not telling you, “You believe too much in your own wretchedness.” We are much more wretched than we ever realize. But I am telling you, “You do not believe enough in merciful love.”

We must have confidence, not in spite of our miseries, but because of them, since it is misery which attracts mercy.

Oh, this word, mercy — misericordia — “miseris cor dare,” a heart which gives itself to the miserable, a Heart which nourishes itself on miseries by consuming them. Meditate on this word.

St. Thomas says that “to have mercy belongs to the nature of God, and it is in this that His omnipotence manifests itself in the highest degree.”

Little Thérèse perceived this when she wrote these lines which complete and crown her manuscript: “Yes, I sense that even if I had on my conscience all the sins which can be committed, I would go, my heart broken, to repent and throw myself into the arms of Jesus, for I know how much He cherishes the prodigal child who returns to Him. It is not because the dear Lord in His provident mercy has preserved my soul from mortal sin that I am lifted up to Him by confidence and love.”

Again, shortly before her death, speaking to Mother Agnes, she said, “You may truly say that if I had committed all possible crimes, I would still have the same confidence; I would feel that this multitude of offenses would be like a drop of water thrown into a flaming furnace.” All possible crimes, a multitude of offenses, a drop of water in an immense furnace: that is the proportion.

And this affirmation is so logical, it is irrefutable.
 
Heavy_Cross said:
I have a hard time being Catholic because of the guilt I feel. I do sinful acts and my conscience punishes me badly. I always worry that God will find me lacking. I so badly want to be justified that sometimes I read the teachings of Luther. He was also very worried that whatever good he did in life, God would not accept him. Through that worry he developed the concept of “faith alone does the justification.” I want to develop an image of a forgiving Christ, but sometimes the legalism of the Catholic church scares me. I look at these boards, and some posters are quick to point out errors in judgement without any kind of compassion. What type of advice can you give me to relieve my guilt?
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First know that Jesus did not come to be our thought police. He came to be our thought coach. It seems many people completely miss that truth.

During your first half of your spiritual life, you are typically subject to basic behavior modification techniques based on threats and bribes. And heaven and hell after we die serve as icons of punishment and reward to back it up.

But then, if you are chosen to move into the second half, all of this will be gone. After all, the “true” law is written on our hearts. Any form that is written in English language is by definition a projection or a shadow of truth, and not Truth itself. Scripture tells us clearly, though the “wise and learned” never figure it out, that once we are born of spirit like Jesus said we MUST be to enter the kingdom (which btw is here and now, not necessarily after death – that’s the real Good News) there is no condemnation. That’s because we will have surrendered our will to the Father’s, who is pleased to send His spirit to take us from where we are to places we never would have known how to seek if it weren’t for Him.

In essence, too many of us are led to feel that Catholicism is basically an evacuation plan for the next life after we die. In reality, if you cut through the **** that you hear from so many places, you will find that it is about being at peace and filled with joy and abundance here and now. I don’t know how Jesus could have made it any clearer, but then again, we tend to look toward the “wise and learned” for guidance when they know academically (like the lawyers and scribes) what Jesus says, but they’ve never experienced what He was talking about so they can’t speak from their own hearts about it because they always need to cite outside authority. God, Christ, Spirit, are IN us so it isn’t a matter of finding them outside ourselves. We need to develop an “interior gaze” to see God, and that means we are open to see our light which is He, without the bushel basket which is our imperfect ego-and-flesh-driven mind.

References:

Heb 10
15 The holy Spirit also testifies to us, for after saying:
16 “This is the covenant I will establish with them after those days, says the Lord: ‘I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them upon their minds,’”
17 he also says: “Their sins and their evildoing I will remember no more.”
18 Where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer offering for sin.
Recalling the Past. Therefore, brothers, since through the blood of Jesus we have confidence of entrance into the sanctuarym
20 by the new and living way he opened for us through the veil,n that is, his flesh,
21 and since we have “a great priest over the house of God,”
22 let us approach with a sincere heart and in absolute trust, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed in pure water.
23 Let us hold unwaveringly to our confession that gives us hope, for he who made the promise is trustworthy.

Luke 10:21
At that very moment he rejoiced [in] the holy Spirit and said, “I give you praise, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike. Yes, Father, such has been your gracious will.

Hope this helps get it started.

Alan
 
Heavy_Cross said:
I have a hard time being Catholic because of the guilt I feel. I do sinful acts and my conscience punishes me badly. I always worry that God will find me lacking. I so badly want to be justified that sometimes I read the teachings of Luther. He was also very worried that whatever good he did in life, God would not accept him. Through that worry he developed the concept of “faith alone does the justification.” I want to develop an image of a forgiving Christ, but sometimes the legalism of the Catholic church scares me. I look at these boards, and some posters are quick to point out errors in judgement without any kind of compassion. What type of advice can you give me to relieve my guilt?
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You may be suffering from excessive scrupulousity, for which it is recommended that you get a good confessor and *follow his recommendations. *

God is not out to get you, even tho from the way some people write, it might seem that way! In reality, sometimes God needs to tell people to shape up, and we have a priest like St John Vianney. At other times, God sends someone to remind us of His infinite mercy, and we see St Francis of Assisi.

And always remember that God is ready at all times to forgive you. In Spiritual Combat, by Dom Scupoli, (text available in full online) the author says that we will fall, that we must place our confidence in God and not in ourselves, that we must not castigate ourselves for falling–just apologize (and go to Confession as soon as we can), and get ourselves back up. Discouragement and despair are the devil’s friends, which he uses against us; don’t let him get to you!
 
St_Francis said:
You may be suffering from excessive scrupulousity, for which it is recommended that you get a good confessor and *follow his recommendations. *

God is not out to get you, even tho from the way some people write, it might seem that way! In reality, sometimes God needs to tell people to shape up, and we have a priest like St John Vianney. At other times, God sends someone to remind us of His infinite mercy, and we see St Francis of Assisi.

And always remember that God is ready at all times to forgive you. In Spiritual Combat, by Dom Scupoli, (text available in full online) the author says that we will fall, that we must place our confidence in God and not in ourselves, that we must not castigate ourselves for falling–just apologize (and go to Confession as soon as we can), and get ourselves back up. Discouragement and despair are the devil’s friends, which he uses against us; don’t let him get to you!
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I saw a therapist for religiosity. The only problem I have is that she said I need to cut religion out of my life, and that is not an option for me. The benefits are too great, and she refuses to give. I stopped seeing her and found another one that was more understanding of my desire for faith. Sometimes I commit sins knowing full well they are sins. I see it happening in mind’s eye and I can’t stop. A priest told me I was having doubt caused by the devil, but I just can’t believe that.
 
I have had some similar problems off and on.

One thing that helps me is focusing on God’s love, however I can do that. When I take my eyes off of Jesus and his love (like Peter did in the boat) then I sink. If I focus on my sin (which of course I will always have) I fall into this kind of thinking and feeling that you describe. As someone mentioned, pray the Divine Mercy. Stay away from anything that leaves you feeling condemned or not good enough for now. Meditate on God’s love. If you do this you will eventually be able to face your sin, confess it, feel forgiven without feeling condemned. But first things first. Focus on Love.

You need to realize that these thoughts and feelings are NOT from God, but from the enemy. Your priest is right. The way to deal with this is to do battle them when they come up. So when you start thinking anything in error like “God is finding me lacking” or “God will not forgive me” or whatever it is, you counter that with the Truth. Which is… “God loves me and forgives me for EVERYTHING”. “God will not let go of my hand”. Whatever it is that you find helpful.

Search the scriptures and find a few consoling verses. One I have used “My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth”… Images can also help… Jesus holding my hand, carrying His sheep on his shoulder, whatever works for you. Then when you get those thoughts/feelings which are from SATAN, apply the Truth. This is the spiritual battle we are fighting and we must counter those unhelpful and destructive thoughts.

I hope this helps.
 
We are harder to judge ourselves and each other than God is to judge us. He is a loving Merciful God. As far as other posts where people judge and are harsh about it, just remember he who is without sin shall cast the first stone. We are all sinners and only God can judge!
 
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