Burial rights question

[KRB]

My sister and I are in a bit of a situation. Earlier this summer our father passed away (he as well as my sister and I are catholic). We were pressured by his family as well as his girlfriend ( who is also catholic) to allow the girlfriend to be placed in a companion urn upon her death. My sister and I were never really comfortable about this due to various reasons. The question we really want an answer to is: If my father never had his marriage nullified by the church and his girlfriend never had her marriage nullified by the church and they never lived together can they be placed in an urn together? To make matters worse my sister and I are the executors and sole benificiaries of our fathers estate, legally his girlfriend has no rights, but she is now suing us in court to gain ownership of our fathers ashes. My sister and I are both young and all we want is the chance to mourn our father. Therefore any help with our question would be appreciated.

 

[1ke]

You need to get a lawyer if you don’t already have one.

If they were not married and she was not in the will I don’t see what legal standing she could have to gain control of your father’s remains.

Regarding his remains, they should be interred in the ground or in a colunbarium. Catholics can be cremated, but their ashes must be buried, not kept in your home or scattered.

His remains should not be mingled with someone else’s remains (the “girlfriend” for example). Contact your local Catholic Church or cemetary and ask about having the remains interred as soon as possible.

Regarding the disposition of her remains when the time comes, talk to the lawyer. If there were no arrangements in writing in your father’s estate papers then you do not ever have to give this “girlfriend” another thought. You are not responsible for her or her remains. She has no legal standing AT ALL.

GET A LAWYER.

 

[KRB]

Thanks. We do have a lawyer and our father is in a niche/vault. Our main concern is the girlfriend praises herself on what a good catholic she is and then has now turned around and is putting us through this. I wonder if there is any doctrine or readings that clear up the issue as to whether she has any rights within the chruch to be placed in the niche with our father.

 

[1ke]

I wonder if there is any doctrine or readings that clear up the issue as to whether she has any rights within the chruch to be placed in the niche with our father.

That is not a matter of Church law. That is a civil matter.

 

[puzzleannie]

get a lawyer’s advice
gf has no legal standing whatever, beyond whatever provisions your father made in his will and estate plan.
None.
she cannot pressure you to do anything.
you are going to bury his ashes in a suitable container in a location or repose them in the facility provided by the diocese for this purpose. What her family does when she dies has nothing to do with you, or with your father’s remains, as her executors will have no legal authority whatever to disturb your father’s remains.

she is still alive, right? well then her ashes are not an issue now for you. at all. none. She also has nothing whatever to contribute to the funeral plans unless he left a legally valid written document giving that duty to her, which does not sound like the case. You do not even have to speak to her if it is too painful, but of course if she attends services and funeral you can’t do anything about it.

other than observing Catholic rules on funerals, if he is being buried from the Catholic parish, none if this has any bearing. There is not going to be an urn, because he will be buried or reposed, not sitting in a jar on the mantel.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

I’d bet money eventually this will be overtaken by events and she will find a new boyfriend and her thoughts won’t be so much on having her ashes sitting in a columbarium with your dad.