Burnout - Hard attending church, what is right?

[Jessmenz]

Hi, i am very much in a similar situation. I am on year 2 of the start of my burnout and my anxiety stems from the same situation as you. I actually took 6 months off of work before finding a new job where i work about 15 hours a week all that i can handle at tge moment. My other difficulty is that my job hours are only available on the weekends (friday, saturday and sunday). This further majes mass attendance difficult. These work hours are what i can feasibly handle as i have a young child on the e autusm spectrum and i need to be able to dedicate extra time to him during the week. I am considering asking my priest for a dispensation to attend a mass during the weekdays as thats when i can gather the most of my energy to attend.

 

[steve-b]

Can i go to church “When i feel like it” and still be a catholic? I really love the church.

Here is the answer from scripture, WHY we go to mass faithfully on Sunday and other holy days of obligation. and why we are not to deliberately miss mass on Sunday

Heb 10: (all emphasis mine)

22 let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful; 24 and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. 26 For **if we sin deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, 27 but a fearful prospect of judgment,and a fury of fire which will consume the adversaries. 28 A man who has violated the law of Moses dies without mercy at the testimony of two or three witnesses. 29 How much worse punishment do you think will be deserved by the man who has spurned the Son of God and profaned the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and outraged the Spirit of grace?30 For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” 31 It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God."

Unpacking that

1. deliberate Failure to meet on the Day, = the LORD’S DAY / Sunday/ the Day Our Lord Resurrected (v 25) is already a huge sin
2. what are they doing when they meet? They are offering the “sacrifice for sin”, (v 26 ) & and; “blood of the covenant” ( v 29) = those are the words Our Lord spoke instituting the Eucharist. Matthew 26:28 & Mark 14:24 They are celebrating the Mass, the Eucharist
3. those who deliberately fail to celebrate the Eucharist on Sunday after being given the knowledge of truth,
   (v 25 - 26) no longer remains, a sacrifice for sin and blood of the covenant for THEM( v 26) but a fearful prospect of judgement awaits Them (v 27) and a fury of fire will consume these adversaries (v 27) They Spurn the Son of God (v 29) They outrage the spirit of grace (v 29)

Based on those consequences for deliberately missing mass on Sunday, then that also shows why it’s a mortal sin

Just showing where and why we hold fast without wavering, to faithfully go to mass on Sunday

 

[Ignatiusmeansfire]

I am sorry to hear that, but i think that is a wise choice. For me im hopefully getting better and do not have many other obligances so might to the same for awhile and hope i can attend unproblematically after that

 

[Ignatiusmeansfire]

Thank you for the effort. I have read it maybe 20 times before though. The issue is not really understanding it intellectually. The question is why it gives me anxiety, a feeling of wrong and makes me feel bad when i attend mass when i really feel bad. Those strong feelings make me question that it is a wise decision to attend. It makes me question if God really wants me to put myself in that situation or if he is asking me to wait patiently for his calling. But i really don’t know. Hopefully a few months and it won’t be as much of an issue

 

[steve-b]

Thank you for the effort. I have read it maybe 20 times before though. The issue is not really understanding it intellectually. The question is why it gives me anxiety, a feeling of wrong and makes me feel bad when i attend mass when i really feel bad. Those strong feelings make me question that it is a wise decision to attend. It makes me question if God really wants me to put myself in that situation or if he is asking me to wait patiently for his calling. But i really don’t know. Hopefully a few months and it won’t be as much of an issue

I’ll just add,

Good Habits are hard to establish and bad habits are hard to break.

Prayers ascending for good results.

 

[vsedriver]

So i guess the main issue could really be, why do i not feel like going every sunday? Why do i feel the need to “prioritize” seeing friends sometimes or cleaning the apartment or shopping food instead of attending mass

this is very, very hard for people who have never suffered from anxiety to understand. What your doctors are trying to do is help you learn how to and when to say NO. When we don’t know how to do this we risk burn out. Some of us were raised never to refuse a request or were made to feel we were less than worthy if we didn’t put out 150%.

Add to that the normal needs of some obligations and everything suddenly becomes overwhelming and you are faced with an inability to make decisions and to prioritize.

For now, give yourself permission to do what ‘feels right’. You need to remove as much obligation as you can. Don’t feel bad about slowing down your life. It’s about the only way you can recover from burn out. If you miss Mass it is because you have a medical condition that is being treated by doctors. This is not a case of self indulgence or laziness.

Go to Mass when you feel a joy to go and that will remove the anxiety of the obligation. Eventually you will achieve a better balance between things you must do and things you want to do. And there is no harm in praying for a desire to attend Mass. When your feelings change you will know your prayers are answered.

 

[PetraG]

Priests are physicians of the soul, but that doesn’t make them psychiatrists. Psychiatrists are physicians of the inner life, but not they aren’t priests.

It is going to be difficult for a typical pastor to know how to handle such an unusual and delicate situation. Honestly, I would consider asking a counselor what kinds of questions I need to ask myself about this matter and what sorts of information I ought to be sure to furnish to someone who has no background in this kind of thing. I’d consider contacting the chancery office, tell them what parish I’m from and ask if there is someone to talk to who has a background in psychiatry and particularly if there is a priest with that background. It is one thing to get advice from us, but quite another to get the same advice from someone recommended by the bishop. I think there will be both ideas about how to lower the anxiety having to do with both attending and not attending Mass and a source that is particularly reassuring to a patient who is very prone to “shoulds.” The ideal would be for the OP to have a peaceful feeling about how to answer this question, not just “answers.”

If the chancery office has no particular recommendations, that is information to have when the OP arranges to talk to his or her pastor about the matter.

 

[halogirl]

I hate mornings so going to morning mass is a sacrifice. I am a night owl so late evening mass when I’d just start to be chilling out and then have to go to mass Is a sacrifice. But when you think about what mass is you really have no option but get up and go we are so so blessed.
Not sure if I’m allowed to share this but one of my favourite hymns

 

[PetraG]

I hate mornings so going to morning mass is a sacrifice. I am a night owl so late evening mass when I’d just start to be chilling out and then have to go to mass Is a sacrifice. But when you think about what mass is you really have no option but get up and go we are so so blessed.
Not sure if I’m allowed to share this but one of my favourite hymns

Illness or incapacity are different than lack of inclination, though. The OP is describing a debilitating situation.

 

[halogirl]

I guess I was just saying there are a lot of reasons why we may struggle to go to mass. Let’s keep going xx

 

[CelticWarlord]

I have also developed some Anxiety issues together with all and forcing myself to go to church those times do induce panic attacks.

Panic and anxiety disorder kept me from attending church for over three years back in the early 90’s. Mind you, the cult-like church I went to was hardly worth the effort or time. Fear of crowds and the fear that I would not be able to escape was the overriding factor. I understand your conundrum and offer prayers for your recovery and blessings for your spiritual life.