By request, no funeral service

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HelenRose said:
As a musician I understand. I still love “Amazing Grace” but one does wonder if there is another song out there that could be chosen.

I think that for families who are grieving it is a comfort to have at least one decision that is not hard to make. They hear question, "What songs do you want sung?’ They don’t have to think. The song is there for them.
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What I have found is that their loved ones who are elderly have favorites that are not used much anymore, or were wildly popular years ago when they raised their kids…things like On Eagle’s Wings and Be Not Afraid. Songs that we really don’t use much anymore. Except at funerals. 😃

IN the south, we still get allot of requests for In the Garden and Softly and Tenderly.
One K of C guy made me promise to play “When The Roll is Called Up Yonder I’ll Be There”. At least at the wake. :o
 
The Catholic Church may not endorse cremation but, it makes me wonder because my parish is building a big new chapel and offices. They are also building a columbarium at the new site. I’m seriously considering cremation because I believe God can and will restore all those who were cremated. After one has been in the ground for many years there are only bones left anyway.
 
msammiem said:
The Catholic Church may not endorse cremation but, it makes me wonder because my parish is building a big new chapel and offices. They are also building a columbarium at the new site. I’m seriously considering cremation because I believe God can and will restore all those who were cremated. After one has been in the ground for many years there are only bones left anyway.
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the Catholic Church does not prohibit cremation.
 
I’d like a nice funeral mass…

…followed by, to quote a great and often-unheard song from the big 80s:

“Four men by the grave in silence,
hats bowed down in grace.
A simple wooden cross
he had no epitaph engraved
he had no epitaph engraved!”

–With apologies to Mike Peters and the Alarm, from “the Stand.”
 
“All go to the same place. All came from the dust and all return to the dust.” --Ecclesiastas, 3:20

There is nary a clue when the resurrection will occur.
 
msammiem said:
The Catholic Church may not endorse cremation but, it makes me wonder because my parish is building a big new chapel and offices. They are also building a columbarium at the new site. I’m seriously considering cremation because I believe God can and will restore all those who were cremated. After one has been in the ground for many years there are only bones left anyway.
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The Church has two main objections to cremation. One is that cremation was, in the past, used to demonstrate disbelief in the resurrection of the body. And second, people seem to be much less careful about the proper disposition of cremains than of an intact body in a coffin. A parish columbarium seems like a lovely idea and it addresses both of these concerns.
 
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Corki said:
The Church has two main objections to cremation. One is that cremation was, in the past, used to demonstrate disbelief in the resurrection of the body. And second, people seem to be much less careful about the proper disposition of cremains than of an intact body in a coffin. A parish columbarium seems like a lovely idea and it addresses both of these concerns.
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So true. There are parishioners in my parish who are adamant that they are to be cremated and scattered. They just refuse to accept the burial part. They are somehow linking burial with being in the box. They have this notion that they are going to be “set free”.
It’s trying for Pastors and Pastoral Assistants, as the practice of scattering or distributing among family has been fairly romanticized in American culture. We’re offering a “Final Arrangements Class” to make people more aware of Church teaching.
I myself view scattering as the ultimate in disrespect. Just toss them to the winds. :mad:
.
I’m going with burial for many reasons.
 
pianistclare said:
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So true. There are parishioners in my parish who are adamant that they are to be cremated and scattered. They just refuse to accept the burial part. They are somehow linking burial with being in the box. They have this notion that they are going to be “set free”.
It’s trying for Pastors and Pastoral Assistants, as the practice of scattering or distributing among family has been fairly romanticized in American culture. We’re offering a “Final Arrangements Class” to make people more aware of Church teaching.
I myself view scattering as the ultimate in disrespect. Just toss them to the winds. :mad:
.
I’m going with burial for many reasons.
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👍

Many years ago I volunteered for a hospice and we had to attend an orientation which emphasized how taboo the subject of death actually is in our culture. They made us do an exercise in planning our own funeral - writing our own obituary and deciding right down to the music how it would go. Now, who can deny death as inevitable, yet when it comes time for dealing with an actual physical body most are ill prepared for the reality and they just want it to go away. Almost seems as though cremation has become the sanitized version of the reality!
 
I am going to be cremated, and only want the bare essentials for a Catholic funeral as the only people that would be there would be the priest and me.🤷
 
cheezey said:
Hey, my brother isn’t coming and he’s in charge!!
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All I know is…that people who act not so nice during our lifetimes…tend to have remorse in the end, even if it’s too late.
He may show up. He may not.
All we can do is pray for them.
Love you, Cheezey!
 
pianistclare said:
All I know is…that people who act not so nice during our lifetimes…tend to have remorse in the end, even if it’s too late.
He may show up. He may not.
All we can do is pray for them.
Love you, Cheezey!
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This is the nice brother. And I do…
 
pianistclare said:
You’d be surprised.
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My mother hated “viewings” and was always adamant that she wanted only immediate family and close friends at the funeral home. We made sure that her obituary stated that calling hours were private, but that friends were welcome at the church. Imagine the surprise when about 10 people from my sister’s work showed up. Not only was I angry that they disregarded my mother’s wishes, but here they were trying to have conversations with me, my father ,and sister and we were practically zombies from grief.
 
pianistclare said:
You’d be surprised.
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I was going to say something very similar. Fortunately, in every parish I have ever belonged to, there were several parishioners who considered it a work of mercy to attend funerals and to prepare a meal for the mourners, regardless of how many or how few there were and regardless of whether they knew the deceased personally. Bless them.
 
Corki said:
I was going to say something very similar. Fortunately, in every parish I have ever belonged to, there were several parishioners who considered it a work of mercy to attend funerals and to prepare a meal for the mourners, regardless of how many or how few there were and regardless of whether they knew the deceased personally. Bless them.
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👍
Even those people who are prickly have friends, sometimes friends they are not even aware of, behind the scenes praying for them. 😉
Also, we live in the South…the most “compassionate” thing that people do around here is to attend the funerals of co-workers families. They just show up.
They mean no disrespect to mourners.
:signofcross:

As I look over this thread…it’s clear that people’s view of death, the dying process, and the rites of dying and remembrance are varied and often upsetting.
We would all do well to continue to pray for those who mourn, as well as those deceased who are commended to God’s mercy.
 
pianistclare said:
👍
Even those people who are prickly have friends, sometimes friends they are not even aware of, behind the scenes praying for them. 😉
Also, we live in the South…the most “compassionate” thing that people do around here is to attend the funerals of co-workers families. They just show up.
They mean no disrespect to mourners.
:signofcross:

As I look over this thread…it’s clear that people’s view of death, the dying process, and the rites of dying and remembrance are varied and often upsetting.
We would all do well to continue to pray for those who mourn, as well as those deceased who are commended to God’s mercy.
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Amen

Actually, and I may be repeating myself, a fellow parishoner/chorister died in November, Our Church seats about 450, ( and I am proud to say that it is 80% full weekly! 😃 )

It was overflowing with people standing to attend the services of this wonderful man. Very high percentage were the parishoners. So maybe there’ll be many at mine. 🙂
 
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