By the way...I'm engaged!

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DanteAlighieri

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It just occurred to me this very moment that I never bothered to post my engagement on this forum! I’ve been engaged for nearly a year now. She’s not Catholic; in fact, not anything. The interesting thing is that since we started dating, she’s been very curious about Catholicism and even started attending Mass with me. As a matter of fact, she once went to Mass without me when she was out of town. In September, we began going to RCIA classes, but stopped when we reached the point at which one commits to conversion (though this was partly due to hectic schedules).

She has graciously put aside her expectations of living together before marriage and is very accommodating of my responsibilities, including that of raising our children Catholic. The amazing thing is that, ever since we started dating, I’ve felt that God is working in the relationship. Although she does not want to convert at the moment, I feel that the possibility is there, and I’ve seen first hand her spiritual awakening as our relationship progressed.

If there’s anyone else who has married a non-Catholic, I’d love to hear some feedback about things that helped make your marriage a success. Obviously, a mixed marriage is not the Church’s ideal, and I know it’ll take some work and prayer. I’d love to hear how you made it work.

And, of course, your prayers, too. 🙂

Peace,
Dante
 
Congratulations, Dante!

I also am engaged to a non-Catholic (although she is Christian). She always said she would never convert, but did agree to raise the children Catholic and attends mass with me when she is around on Sundays. I actually took her to her first TLM on Sunday, and we’re going again for Midnight Mass on Friday night. Though I would welcome her conversion, I haven’t been pushing it, but I have been praying a lot to St. Joseph and the Blessed Virgin Mary to help us form a Catholic family even with mixed ideas on religion (at least for now!)

Best of luck to you and you are in my prayers!
 
DanteAlighieri said:
It just occurred to me this very moment that I never bothered to post my engagement on this forum! I’ve been engaged for nearly a year now. She’s not Catholic; in fact, not anything. The interesting thing is that since we started dating, she’s been very curious about Catholicism and even started attending Mass with me. As a matter of fact, she once went to Mass without me when she was out of town. In September, we began going to RCIA classes, but stopped when we reached the point at which one commits to conversion (though this was partly due to hectic schedules).

She has graciously put aside her expectations of living together before marriage and is very accommodating of my responsibilities, including that of raising our children Catholic. The amazing thing is that, ever since we started dating, I’ve felt that God is working in the relationship. Although she does not want to convert at the moment, I feel that the possibility is there, and I’ve seen first hand her spiritual awakening as our relationship progressed.

If there’s anyone else who has married a non-Catholic, I’d love to hear some feedback about things that helped make your marriage a success. Obviously, a mixed marriage is not the Church’s ideal, and I know it’ll take some work and prayer. I’d love to hear how you made it work.

And, of course, your prayers, too. 🙂

Peace,
Dante
Click to expand...
How does she feel about NFP and being open to life?

How would you feel if she never converted?

Just so you do know - you will need dispensation - your marriage will not be Sacramental (assuming she is not baptized) but it will be valid and licit. If she does decide to convert the marriage will become Sacramental. This is just FYI. It sounds like you have done your homework anyway.

Pax et Bonum.
 
I pray that God may bless your marriage, should you go through with the wedding! I do remember reading something from a wise man, though, who explained that we could fall in love with many different people, but that there was one God and one life. Sainthood should be our number one objective. Do you believe that this person and you will help bring each other to Heaven, and to contribute to building up Christ’s body (i.e., the Church)?

Please note: this is rhetorical, so please don’t answer here. It’s none of my business, anyway! But, as a brother of yours in Christ, I am trying to show charity by advising you objectively.

Auspice Maria,

+VNV+
 
joandarc2008 said:
How does she feel about NFP and being open to life?

How would you feel if she never converted?

Just so you do know - you will need dispensation - your marriage will not be Sacramental (assuming she is not baptized) but it will be valid and licit. If she does decide to convert the marriage will become Sacramental. This is just FYI. It sounds like you have done your homework anyway.

Pax et Bonum.
Click to expand...
  1. She’s open to NFP and wants lots of babies. 🙂
  2. If she never converted, I’d be saddened. But I will always hope.
  3. Already got the dispensation. 👍
Peace,
Dante
 
DanteAlighieri said:
  1. She’s open to NFP and wants lots of babies. 🙂
  2. If she never converted, I’d be saddened. But I will always hope.
  3. Already got the dispensation. 👍
Peace,
Dante
Click to expand...
The only thing I can say is that you need to learn to develop the attitude of joy whether or not she converts. Anything else will seem like pressure. Answer her questions if she has them but remember - JOY. Good luck and best wishes.
 
VeroNihilVerius said:
I pray that God may bless your marriage, should you go through with the wedding! I do remember reading something from a wise man, though, who explained that we could fall in love with many different people, but that there was one God and one life. Sainthood should be our number one objective.** Do you believe that this person and you will help bring each other to Heaven, and to contribute to building up Christ’s body** (i.e., the Church)?

Please note: this is rhetorical, so please don’t answer here. It’s none of my business, anyway! But, as a brother of yours in Christ, I am trying to show charity by advising you objectively.

Auspice Maria,

+VNV+
Click to expand...
I decided to answer anyway, as I’ve been asked things like this before. The answer is Yes. Though ultimately the choice to convert is hers and not mine, I have an inner peace about the relationship that I cannot describe. I have experienced many times since we’ve been together moments that have assuaged my fears and confirmed my belief that God wants this marriage to happen. I feel as though this marriage can be the pathway through which God opens her heart, and I feel certain that being her husband is the vocation that I have yearned for my whole life.

Thanks for your charity - God bless you!

Peace,
Dante
 
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