Called to be a holy parent?

[buckr02]

I have been hearing from the time I was very young until this day that there is a dire need for vocations to the priesthood and religious life. I’ve always taken that to be true and it’s one of the reasons I have felt called to the priesthood in the past - I had the notion that if I wasn’t going to be a priest, who would?

A few months ago, however, I began reading a book entitled “Good News about Sex and Marriage” by Christopher West, in which he says that there is an even bigger shortage of holy parents in today’s world - with which I also agree.

If one thinks about it, we cannot have priests without holy families practicing the Catholic faith rigorously and not just as a passive, “Yeah, let’s go to mass on Sunday, but not bother to talk about it the rest of the week.” I feel we need to pray that many people will heed the call to be religious and inspiring parents and for the growth of Catholic families, as they are in more demand even than priests.

This all plays in to my continuing discernment of vocation. Around my junior or senior year of high school I began having these thoughts of, “What if I’m called to be a priest?” But for me it was almost taboo, because I had always wanted to be a father and abhorred the idea of never getting married. They were selfish thoughts and eventually I felt like I had convinced myself that God wanted me to get married.

At the same time, however, I felt guilty for not wanting to be a priest, because of all the things I had learned about priesthood and the common idea in my family/community that you can’t be truly holy unless you become a priest/nun. So I really struggled with my discernment, which was actually more like me arguing with myself than discerning anything.

It was only until I finally gave in and said to God, “You win, if you want me to be a priest, that’s what I’ll do,” that I actually started feeling comfortable with the idea of getting married. It was like God was waiting for me to give in and put it in his hands before he was going to tell me that he really does want me to get married.

How does this all tie together? It’s important that in today’s world we let people know that they can be holy and get married at the same time. Encouraging vocations to the priesthood is, of course, vitally important for the church, but I don’t feel that there should be this notion that you need to be a priest to be holy floating around. I may be completely wrong with what God wants me to do, as I still have years before I need to figure it out for sure, but I want to encourage holy people to step up and be responsible parents.

Thanks
-BuckR

 

[Norseman82]

Well, the whole premise behind Opus Dei is the “universal call to holiness” - that all of us should live out holiness no matter where we are in life, so you are not alone in your what you say.

 

[James0235]

I spent some time in discernment (twice, actually). At times I had a desire to be a priest but I didn’t feel that I had the call.

It turned out I was considering the priesthood for the wrong reasons. I didn’t have the vocation.

While discussing this with a Benedictine Monk he suggested to me that if I knew that the priesthood wasn’t my vocation and that marriage was then maybe I would have children who grew up to be priests, or monks, or nuns. And he said that in order for that to happen they would need to grow up in a holy family.

That was something that I had never considered before.

I was reminded of this about a week ago when reading the 2nd reading for this past Sunday’s Mass.

**"…to you who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be holy, with all those everywhere who call upon the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours."
1 Corinthians 1:1-3

**Every one of us is called to be holy. It is part of the vocation of everyone whether single or married, clergy or laity. And it is through holy families that we will reverse this artificial vocations crisis and produce many holy priests.

James

 

[mchale]

I think this is a good thread. One thought through far too little in our current world. It use to be that the center of social life for Catholics was their parish and thus their permeated most aspects of their lives. I completely agree with the concept expressed here with the idea that the lack of vocations to the religious life is directly tied to the fact that Catholics are far more likely to be Sunday Catholics today than they were 50 years ago.

The only choice really, for those of us who are called to the married life is to embrace the married life the God meant it to be embraced. In other words, it is not just about the love between a man and a woman, but rather its about using that love to further God’s love in the world, through children and through supporting each other in service to the church and our fellow Man. In other words, we have to decide what is more important, the 60" plasma screen TV or feeding the poor, cable or comforting the sick, leather seats for your car or a Catholic Education for your kids, etc.

–
Bill

 

[sassy11]

I felt my calling was to get married and have children. When I was young I told God that I would like for my son to become a priest or a missionary. As a young person I thought missionary work was exciting, and I still do. I knew I could not be a missionary, that my calling was to be married. Well, I got married and now have 2 children, a boy and a girl. My daughter is 13, and my son is 8. They both ask a lot of questions about God.

As a parent, I instill in them the love of the church, CCD, prayers etc… Its my job to guide them towards God. You know you are doing a great job when you stand by the door of their room and you hear my daughter reciting a prayer and my son repeating it. You know you are doing a great job when they cannot eat their dinner until everyone is at the table and they have said their grace (even at restaurants).

I believe my son will receive the call to be a priest because I’ve prayed about it before he was born. I’m not sure why but its something I pray about all the time. I know what my job is and I’ll leave the calling to God. You mention holy parent, we are all call to be that. If more parents adhere to it we would not have all of these trouble teens doing things they shouldn’t be doing. If my son doesn’t get “the call” or decides to become something else, he’s my son and I will always love him. I will not be disappointed at all. God has a plan for everyone, who am I to tell Him what to do.

One important note about God’s plan. I always wanted to be a teacher but got bad advice from many people. I went to college and major in something else. After 16 years, I’m back in school and getting my teaching credential in order I finally said yes to this calling (to be a teacher) and the path at least for me has been easy, I feel that I’ve been blessed beyond imagination. All because I said yes to God’s calling to be a teacher.

I believe that God has a plan for all of us and if try to ignore him, he has a way of nagging. When you do finally say yes, its amazing to me the doors that open up. Its like, why didn’t I say yes before.

 

[PBP]

I have read and listened to Christopher West as well. I realize now at 37 and being married after 18 years that I had no clue what I was saying on my wedding day. How sad…I’m yet to get my wife to listen to Christopher West but her conversion of heart is progressing. At some point I want us to renew our vows as now I understand the one flesh union and covenental love. I get frustrated at times with folks who dont have the same desire as I now have. I want to share what I have learned but dont seem to find a lot of hungry people. I still am working on myself as conversion is ongoing. Guess we need to pray for opportunities to evangelize.

 

[Feedmysheep]

I was a “late vocation” to be a holy parent, I guess. Well, to be honest, it was more like God was calling me the whole time, but I was too busy sticking my fingers in my ears and calling out “na na na, I can’t hear you”.

So now, I can look back in horror at the mock “baptism” we made our first born child endure (no mention of the Trinity, and a bunch of malarky about “choosing your own path towards God”, all babbled next to some lake in a park somewhere), and realize how, where, and why we needed to heed our vocation to become holy parents.

Now, that same first born child, dirty lake water notwithstanding (and yes, we did properly baptize her four years later) has expressed a consistent desire to be a nun when she grows up.

FMS