3Sanctus,
I would be very interested in reading those…Now in my life wouldn’t be the best idea, but maybe I will be ready for that one day! I am honestly a bit of afraidy cat
What I would do if I were you is pray to Saint Anthony to help you find the right person to speak with regarding spiritual direction, of course, after giving your whole endeavor over to God and asking His blessings! He will guide you to who He wants to be your director

I spoke to my parish priest, and at first I felt uncomfortable and nervous. I wanted to talk to somebody else. But through time I learned that God wants him to be my spiritual director, so I gave it another chance while trying to be resigned to His will and all is going very well!
I too am quite outgoing/social, yet I love the solitude in prayer and am drawn in such a way I cant explain! I too feel guilty leaving my mother and family in distress… But like they say “You will be more help there then here” But that would only be if God wills it. I would say, same goes for you. You should talk to a spiritual director about the call and of course, keep praying. Like the advice given to me , I think we should try to answer Gods call while begging Him to guide us to Him in which ever way He has planned for us.
I don’t know how I of all people am giving advice. If anybody has any criticism for me I’m open to it! I hope this helps you out though.
The way I see it is, if we think we are called, we should at least try to answer. If it is Gods will we will know, and if it is not…He will make it clear to us. What if He is calling us and we don’t answer at all? It seems it is better to try. We are His poor children and if we realize we are not capable of doing it alone and give ourselves to Our Father, He will be so pleased and carry us to Him, as the Good Shepard that He is.
May God bless you,
You will absolutely be in my prayers. Please keep me in yours!