Called to Religous Life After a Life of Sin

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Teresa_Michelle

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Good Afternoon, All!

My name is Teresa. I am a 28 year old woman who has heard and accepted a call to a religious life. I was raised Catholic, but have been lax in practicing in my adult life. I have, however, always felt an inexplicably strong connection to God. I have never doubted that he heard my prayers. Fortunately, I finally started have started listening to Him. More recently, I have felt compelled to attend daily mass and weekly adoration. I attended adoration for the first time in my life a little while ago at the Sacred Heart here in Mobile. I was overwhelmed with the love and peace I felt in His presence. My prayers were more sincere than I have ever known them to be and my heart was so full I felt moved to tears. When we left, I carried pieces of that love with me, but I didn’t want to leave.

For most of my life I have been drifting - just going with the flow and seeing where it took me. In doing so, I have put my put myself in situations that were displeasing to my heavenly father. I would go to confession and it would be a sincere confession, but I would always fall back into bad habits and practices after a few weeks. I have never intentionally hurt another person, but I have harmed myself morally. At one point, I didn’t even recognize who I was. I never owned my future or invested myself in any one direction. I’ve always felt that there was something I was supposed to be doing; I just never could see it.

After a great deal of meditation and prayer - I found my answer in joining community of sisters devoted to serving God and helping others. After I made this decision to move forward, I felt a calm that I have never experienced before. My mind was clear and my heart was steady. I am usually so confused and turned around I can’t remember my own name. I am not excited or anxious, I am just at peace.

I have an appoint to meet with the Mother Superior at The Visitation Monastery in Mobile to discuss the discernment process and what it means to lead a religious life. This will also be a retreat for me during the week. It’s will be after Easter, so I have some time to prepare. I am not considering joining The Visitation nuns because they are a cloister and I want to be in a community that works in society helping others. In addition, The Visitation is mostly a cloister for widows. I will let God guide me in the direction he thinks I should take, but I have my choices, too.

I have never been married, I have no children. I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Communications, with a focus on Journalism. I told my mother about my decision and she told me that she always felt she would have a child who followed Christ into a vocation. She is completely supportive. I am keeping it to myself otherwise until I begin the discernment process, so this board is the only other place for interaction. I would love to hear from those in all steps of the process of joining an order.

What are some things I could do to prepare for my retreat and meeting with Mother? Does anyone have any comments on my story? I know forgiveness is a cornerstone to our religion, but is it allowed to join an order after leading a poor-in-spirit life for so long?

May God Bless You,
Teresa Michelle
 
St Augustine and St Mary Magdalene come to mind.

newadvent.org/cathen/02084a.htm

newadvent.org/cathen/09761a.htm

There is a parable in the gospels about two sons. Their father asked them to help in the fields. One said, “Yes” and proceeded to go his own way. The other said, “No” but repented and went to work.

If you are in contact with the Visitation Sisters, I am sure they could suggest ways to prepare yourself. Daily Mass, Adoration, and frequent Confession are great things.
 
I had to look to make sure it wasn’t me who posted this! 😊 I understand your story. It sounds a LOT like mine. I became so neutral on everything that I felt like I was just floating aimlessly around. I suffered from depression and anxiety after dealing with a friend’s death. Life just didn’t seem to give me much purpose anymore. That was until I attended a Charismatic retreat hosted by the Franciscan Friars and Sisters of the Renewal. I am not a Charismatic Catholic. I never have been, but this experience (I’ve been twice) opened my eyes to the Catholic faith in a way I’d never seen it before. Suddenly, after studying my faith, I became VERY interested in it. I started making an active effort to attend Church regularly (I try to go daily when I can) on Sundays and Holy Days. It was no longer a battle to get me to care about my faith. I wanted to participate! After some time discerning, I accepted a call to a vocation in the religious life. 🙂

That’s not to say that everything got better immediately. I still struggled morally and wondered how God could ever want anyone like me. But I heard the phrase (I think it applies here):

If Church is the hospital for the sinner, the convents and monasteries are the intensive care unit.

I began to see that it didn’t matter what I did in my previous life at all. I could change everything if I just surrender to Jesus and His will. I accepted and it’s been a constant battle ever since. But a happy one! 😃

I’ve applied to the Northern Province of the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus in Milwaukee, WI. Here is their website if you want to take a look:

carmelitedcjnorth.org/

They are contemplative/active, which might be what you are looking for (not the order specifically, but the style of prayer and life mixed for balance).

I think it’s wonderful that you are going on the Desert Experience retreat! Many people have told me about it, and I hope to go on it before I leave for the convent (God-willing!). It is a wonderful way to grow with our Lord and focus on His Passion. I pray that this experience will help you gain your bearings and prepare you for discernment. When you are ready, I think it would help to get a spiritual director (maybe the Visitation nuns could set up something?). It could be a priest, deacon, brother, sister, or a qualified lay person. Mine has helped me tremendously! Also, it would help you to read the lives of the saints, like St. Therese’s autobiography (Story of a Soul), and/or spiritual literature like St. Francis de Sales’ Introduction to the Devout Life (my mom just got this book for me today; so many people have told me about it).

I will be praying for you. You have a great patron saint! St. Teresa of Avila was a wonderful woman! She was a Carmelite, if you may or may not know! She also has some books too, like The Interior Castle (one that I would start with) and The Way of Perfection. Here’s a short biography:

karmel.at/eng/teresa.htm

God bless! Let me know if you need anything. 😃
 
Those were beautifull posts. You ladies are truely inspiring. God bless you!
 
Please let us know how the retreat went after you return. I have been interested in doing a retreat there also, and I would love to hear firsthand from someone who has experienced it.
 
Thank you so much for your responses! Carmelite Girl, I appreciated your post and it was encouraging to me. My patron saint for Confirmation was St. Teresa of Avila! Right now I am reading up on Jeanne Jughean, the foundress of The Little Sisters of the Poor, and her order. There is also a Carmelite order here in Mobile, but as I said I will go were I am lead. Mother has prepared a collection of orders for me to look over while I am on the retreat.

I look forward to sharing all of my experiences here, but I will make sure I follow up after my Desert Retreat with the Sisters at the Visitation - I am looking forward to it. My confirmation retreat was there and my mother makes frequent visits to the sisters, so I feel like I know them already.
 
😃 Praise the Lord for your conversion!!! I have been catholic all my life but only in the last few years have I become really serious about my faith :o. I was so sinful but now I wish only to please the Lord. I sometimes get mad :banghead: at myself for taking so long to see the light and I regret my sinful past. St. Paul has become my role model before. I was like Saul but I wish to become like Paul :). One of my favorite verses is Galations 2:20 says “it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me.” I want to dedicate my life to God as a religious sister and I know several individuals who were drug addicts or alcoholics who want to become priest. You may also want to look at Fr. John Corapi’s conversion story which is very inspiring. May God bless you on your journey. I will pray for you all, please pray for me 😊
 
Teresa_Michelle said:
Thank you so much for your responses! Carmelite Girl, I appreciated your post and it was encouraging to me. My patron saint for Confirmation was St. Teresa of Avila! Right now I am reading up on Jeanne Jughean, the foundress of The Little Sisters of the Poor, and her order. There is also a Carmelite order here in Mobile, but as I said I will go were I am lead. Mother has prepared a collection of orders for me to look over while I am on the retreat.

I look forward to sharing all of my experiences here, but I will make sure I follow up after my Desert Retreat with the Sisters at the Visitation - I am looking forward to it. My confirmation retreat was there and my mother makes frequent visits to the sisters, so I feel like I know them already.
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Wonderful! Jeanne Jugan is going to be canonized in October, too! 🙂 The Little Sisters of the Poor look wonderful, and if you decide to look into them, they have a convent in Mobile, connected to the Sacred Heart Residence Home! 👍 I was actually trying to get a job there as a CNA before I started applying to the order I’m discerning with now. But Sr. Constance in Washington D.C. told me to focus on my order since I was not interested in the Little Sisters (they are beautiful, but I don’t feel called there). Here’s the address and webpage of the Mobile convent:

Sacred Heart Home
1655 Mcgill Avenue
Mobile, Alabama
36604-1299
(251)476-6335

littlesistersofthepoor.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=category.display&category_id=26

God bless! You are in my prayers! :crossrc:
 
We can’t be fixed until we’re first broken.

Our Lord chose twelve sinners. One of them even got some keys. 👍
 
Teresa_Michelle said:
Thank you so much for your responses! Carmelite Girl, I appreciated your post and it was encouraging to me. My patron saint for Confirmation was St. Teresa of Avila! Right now I am reading up on Jeanne Jughean, the foundress of The Little Sisters of the Poor, and her order. There is also a Carmelite order here in Mobile, but as I said I will go were I am lead. Mother has prepared a collection of orders for me to look over while I am on the retreat.

I look forward to sharing all of my experiences here, but I will make sure I follow up after my Desert Retreat with the Sisters at the Visitation - I am looking forward to it. My confirmation retreat was there and my mother makes frequent visits to the sisters, so I feel like I know them already.
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I need CarmeliteGirl25 to help me out on this one. St Teresa is my patron saint, too. If I am remembering correctly what I have read about her - she writes that there was a period of time early on in her life where she didn’t take things as seriously as she later wished. (I need your help there CarmeliteGirl25.)

Praying for you that your retreat goes well !!!
 
Hi Theresa,
I read your post. Regarding the Visitation in Mobile, I entered that monastery,
I did not stay but I can tell you that you will enjoy your retreat there. Are you
making the retreat in the cloister or is it an organized retreat? The Visitation
Order is not just for widowed women. The order was founded by St. Jane de
Chantel and St. Francis de Sales. Stl. Jane de Chantel was a widow.
The monastery in Mobile is absolutely beautiful. If you are staying in the
cloister for your retreat, you will pretty much follow the sisters schedule.
You will have your meals with the sisters also. If you are going there on a
scheduled retreat with others you will stay in the retreat center. If you want
to speak with the Superior her name is Rev. Mother Rosemarie. There about
about 6 or 7 nuns currently in the cloister. If you are interested in an active
order let me know and I can give you the names of some orders. I will be
praying for you.
PAX
Abscondita
 
Abscondita said:
Hi Theresa,
I read your post. Regarding the Visitation in Mobile, I entered that monastery,
I did not stay but I can tell you that you will enjoy your retreat there. Are you
making the retreat in the cloister or is it an organized retreat? The Visitation
Order is not just for widowed women. The order was founded by St. Jane de
Chantel and St. Francis de Sales. Stl. Jane de Chantel was a widow.
The monastery in Mobile is absolutely beautiful. If you are staying in the
cloister for your retreat, you will pretty much follow the sisters schedule.
You will have your meals with the sisters also. If you are going there on a
scheduled retreat with others you will stay in the retreat center. If you want
to speak with the Superior her name is Rev. Mother Rosemarie. There about
about 6 or 7 nuns currently in the cloister. If you are interested in an active
order let me know and I can give you the names of some orders. I will be
praying for you.
PAX
Abscondita
Click to expand...
Thank you for your reply! I am thrilled to find someone else who knows about The Visitation in Mobile. I have made frequent visits to the monastery and the chapel. It isn’t a scheduled retreat. Mother RoseMarie said that I could schedule a retreat around my work schedule. I wait tables. She even suggested that I come during the week, since I make most of my tips on the weekends. =) I believe I will be staying in the cloister, but seperate from the sisters. I have never met Mother, but my mother has established a friendship with her over many years through retreats and some volunteer work with the sisters, making beds in the retreat house and such. It is a beautiful monastery. I love the history. Through this retreat, I hope to develop a better sense of my purpose in His will. At this point, I am more interested in an active order. I have a communications degree, so I am leaning toward some of the Domincans or a teaching order. However, I feel I have so much to learn about everything. I am opening my heart up completely to Jesus and letting Him direct me. I know I will not be led in a direction or to a vocation that is not suited to me.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PRAYERS! I love that I found this board.
 
joamy said:
I need CarmeliteGirl25 to help me out on this one. St Teresa is my patron saint, too. If I am remembering correctly what I have read about her - she writes that there was a period of time early on in her life where she didn’t take things as seriously as she later wished. (I need your help there CarmeliteGirl25.)

Praying for you that your retreat goes well !!!
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I believe that is correct. I am starting to read “The Interior Castle,” and I hope to find out more about her. 🙂
 
joamy said:
St Teresa is my patron saint, too. If I am remembering correctly what I have read about her - she writes that there was a period of time early on in her life where she didn’t take things as seriously as she later wished. (I need your help there CarmeliteGirl25.)
Click to expand...
Well, obviously I’m not CarmeliteGirl25, but I am a Carmelite boy (!) so with a cut and paste from another post of mine ----

St Teresa of Avila entered a convent largely to avoid the restrictive life of a financially advantageous marriage, but as was fairly typical of the era (she lived in mid 16th century Spain) she took with her servants and a luxurious lifestyle and lived in a comfortable apartment within the convent, only going to prayer when she felt like it. After nearly 20 years of this she realised the emptiness of her existence and turned to God, committing herself to reforming her religious order and opening new communities.

She is the author of many spiritual classics, and as one of the great commentators on the nature of prayer, was made a doctor of the church (that is, someone who has contributed significantly to theology or church doctrine). She was a remarkable individual, but also very human and likable. Some of her works are available online - her autobiography is a good place to start, and is available online at:

gutenberg.org/etext/8120
  • good to dip into even if you don’t have time to read it all.
Hope this helps.
 
Dear CarmeliteGirl,
Story of a Soul was the first “religious” book I read when my conversion was beginning about 5 yrs. ago. This bk. I am ashamed to admit did not penetrate my thick skull. I didn’t “get” Little Therese or her Little Way. Do you think that now after 5 yrs. of prayer, growth, learning the beauty of humility, Eucharist etc. I will be able to understand what all of you do if I read it again? It’s sitting on my bed table. Will I get it? :confused: I want to love her so much and to learn from her so that I can grow. You are such an inspiration CarmGirl!
TY!
Kathgirl
 
Kathgirl said:
Dear CarmeliteGirl,
Story of a Soul was the first “religious” book I read when my conversion was beginning about 5 yrs. ago. This bk. I am ashamed to admit did not penetrate my thick skull. I didn’t “get” Little Therese or her Little Way. Do you think that now after 5 yrs. of prayer, growth, learning the beauty of humility, Eucharist etc. I will be able to understand what all of you do if I read it again? It’s sitting on my bed table. Will I get it? :confused: I want to love her so much and to learn from her so that I can grow. You are such an inspiration CarmGirl!
TY!
Kathgirl
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Try it again and see - I have had that experience with different books. Sometimes it just depends on where you are at the time. You could pray to St Therese for guidance, too:)
I have done that and she is faithful with answering prayers!! The best part of her “little way” is that it is Love, pure and simple. 👍
 
Kathgirl said:
Dear CarmeliteGirl,
Story of a Soul was the first “religious” book I read when my conversion was beginning about 5 yrs. ago. This bk. I am ashamed to admit did not penetrate my thick skull. I didn’t “get” Little Therese or her Little Way. Do you think that now after 5 yrs. of prayer, growth, learning the beauty of humility, Eucharist etc. I will be able to understand what all of you do if I read it again? It’s sitting on my bed table. Will I get it? :confused: I want to love her so much and to learn from her so that I can grow. You are such an inspiration CarmGirl!
TY!
Kathgirl
Click to expand...
Definitely try it again. 🙂 The way you felt about St. Therese is the way I felt about St. Teresa of Avila. I couldn’t understand her and I didn’t like her very much. But, now I’m reading “The Interior Castle” and I’m actually starting to really like her. Like joamy said, it all depends on where you are at the time, spiritually. God bless you, Kathgirl! You are too sweet. 😉
 
CarmeliteGirl25 said:
Definitely try it again. 🙂 The way you felt about St. Therese is the way I felt about St. Teresa of Avila. I couldn’t understand her and I didn’t like her very much. But, now I’m reading “The Interior Castle” and I’m actually starting to really like her. Like joamy said, it all depends on where you are at the time, spiritually. God bless you, Kathgirl! You are too sweet. 😉
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Thank you CarmeliteGirl. I will surely reread this book and I just have a feeling it will mean much to me now that Grace has opened my heart.
Thanks for all you do for us each day.
P.S. I am dreaming of you as a beautiful postulant in your Carmelite convent. May God’s Holy Will become your greatest joy.🙂
Kathgirl
 
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