Calling all Married Couples who took a break from their spouse while dating!

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I think whether the break is good or bad will vary from couple to couple and can’t be predicted at the time of the break. My wife and I dated in College, separated and stayed friends when I went off to grad school and she went off to live in another state. Years later, we both ended up back in the same state. We started dating and were married a year later. It worked out well for us, but that’s because we weren’t really ready for marriage back then. I don’t know how I could have possibly been a good husband back when I was spending 80 hours a week in a lab, and my wife really needed to go our and “find her fortune” (prove that she could succeed on her own) before settling down (although she would probably deny this).
 
My wife and I dated straight for about 6 months then took a “break” at my request. We were in college and I just didn’t know yet or possibly was in denial. We both dated other people which had both good and bad effects. We were then together for another year or so and I again wanted another break… when something almost happend with another person I was dating I broke things off and asked my wife to marry me about a month later.

She says she always knew… the breaks were me. While I will say there were some benefits in it helping me know she was the one, it almost had some very bad reprocussions.

I’m not sure I can recommend it if you truly love that person.

Joe
 
Yes I did. I even moved to England. It was a very good thing for me and for the relationship. Yes, I did date, as did DH but we both had love just for each other. True love that is. We’ve been married for 11 years.👍
 
Hmm, I don’t think we ever called it an official “break” nor did we date others, but due to meeting at such a young age, we put the idea of “going steady” on the backburner until late highschool.

I think this really benefited us because it can be easy for teens to feel pressure from being in a relationship and/or to have their life revolve around a relationship. By saying we would wait for each other but not actively date, we were able to be best friends and still focus on our family and school.

I can’t see taking a “break” at an older age (aka where marriage is a good and possible option) to be indicative of anything good. It would send a red flag up in my mind if, say, I was dating at the age of 24 and my bf wanted a “break” to date other people.
 
Well what advise could you give me…I have been married before, he never wanted to be married through the church so of course that didn’t last.
I have been dating this great guy for the past 2.5 years…Now we have had our ups and downs, like any relationship, and he has asked me to marry him but I think that because of all the issues we have had that we need to take a break. I mean I love him and he is my best friend, we spend time together as much as possible and we are both Catholics. But the matter of fact is that it has been a bit overwhelming you know? And even though he swears I am the best thing for him, I really think we need a break so that we can both get our heads a little more you know, clearer about a long-term marriage because it’s not like marrying civilly once you are in a catholic marriage there is no turning back and I kind of think that he needs to have a little more experience with life and love since I am his 2nd girlfriend…:rolleyes:
The first one he had when he was 13 years old…🤷
So that doesn’t really help you know??
I dated my first love when I was 17 but because of our differences in our Catholic beliefs it just didn’t work out at all…
With this one it’s different, we both are devoted Catholics, we both will be receiving the sacrament of confirmation soon, and he really wants to start a family with me as well…
But like I said we are such good friends that I think that’s what he’s leading his want for marriage of? You know? He dated this girl for 3 years and she cheated on him with his bff so he was so traumatized for so many years he didn’t date anyone at all, he dedicated to working and to his musical hobby, seriously! I only met him by pure coincidence and I didn’t even want to talk to him…lol…and he persisted and we’ve been together for 2.5 years but after he proposed I was like “why do you want to marry me?” He told me * I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, you are my best friend and why would I want to have anything else other than the best? I love hearing your voice, and even when you are mad, I love holding you and snuggling with you, and I love everything you are!!!* And then I asked him “why do you see yourself with me for the rest of your life?” He responded tellling me “because you are my best friend”…
Now I love him and he means the world to me, but I don’t just see myself with him for the rest of my life because he’s my best friend but because he’s a great companion, and someone I see children with. But I don’t think he sees it the same way I do?
So any advise is appreciated!! 😃
 
Yes. We took a break for 3 months.

I went on one or two dates, but he did not go on any. I was the one who wanted the break, because I felt that I needed some time to go through some personal things.

Honestly, during that break we saw each other frequently. We were in college, had classes together, and he lived in a house right across the street from my sorority house! We just tried to be friends during that time, and it helped our relationship so much!

Good luck to you 🙂
 
We dated at the end of Sr. year in HS and went to separate colleges. Broke up a few times but did not date other people. Listened too much to people telling us we couldn’t do this and we couldn’t do that (they were well intentioned) because we were too young. The only thing I have ever been sure of is how much we loved each other. But what do you know about love just coming out of HS?? No regrets really…just maybe not let our parents control our lives as much. We ended up together forever so it all worked out. We just celebrated our 14th anniversary and have four beautiful children. He is truly my best friend…when you take away all of the titles he is in my life…I just really like the guy.
 
aloejamb said:
We dated at the end of Sr. year in HS and went to separate colleges. Broke up a few times but did not date other people. Listened too much to people telling us we couldn’t do this and we couldn’t do that (they were well intentioned) because we were too young. The only thing I have ever been sure of is how much we loved each other. But what do you know about love just coming out of HS?? No regrets really…just maybe not let our parents control our lives as much. We ended up together forever so it all worked out. We just celebrated our 14th anniversary and have four beautiful children. He is truly my best friend…when you take away all of the titles he is in my life…I just really like the guy.
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See that’s what happened with my ex and myself. We always listened to everyone else, my parents loved him until my sister decided she couldn’t stand him and kept provoking him so obviously my parents didn’t agree with him and didn’t like him and made my life miserable of course we got divorced etc…So definitely for some it works out for others, like myself it just destroys the relationship and you end up being apart…I think that if my ex and I would have taken a break it would have helped us both because he would have realized how important my family was to me and that compromises are always part of the deal and I would have learned to let my family know to respect my husband no matter what because he was the one I had chosen…Well 2 years after our divorce I started dating again, and have been dating this man for 2.5 years going on 3. I am excited! He’s just an amazing person. A bit of a short temper but I think with more communication he should be able to learn to control himself a little better you know?! He’s never behaved violently towards me nor my children but I have seen him like at work and with other people that his fuse is very short!! lol…It’s a work in progress…😛
 
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