Calling things off

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schoolteacher68

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Hello everyone…first and foremost, thank you for the previous prayers sent my way back in October when I posted “engaged and in doubt”…looking for a few more this time to help me with an impending break up…

Long story short, we’ve been together since June 2013…things were kind of whirlwind in that we got along GREAT, had tons in common and both felt like high school kids again…we both thought it would be cool to get married and as such, started the annulment process in December 2013…I got mine easily in June 2014, but his took a year longer and didn’t come through until August 2015…during that time I found out he had debt but he was hard working, a great father, compassionate, got along with my friends and family, loves motorcycles, dances and a host of other redeeming qualities…he made less than half of what I do (Catholic teachers in Ontario, Canada get paid EXTREMELY well - like in the high 5 figures for someone at my level) and I paid for most of our outings, which in all honesty, bugged me a bit, but not to the extent it does now…anyways, his annulment came through and I guess I “got girly” and got caught up in the moment, we set a wedding date for the end of May 2016…then things turned…I finally started feeling anxious and nervous, wondering about our financial future, responsibilities etc…I found out in October that his debt was quite substantially more than initially disclosed and that really set me back…I put the wedding on hold and we cancelled the date and let everyone know things were off for the time being…the “honeymoon” phase was over and reality set in…we’re not on the same page at all when it comes to finances and some comments he’s make recently have really made me think twice about whether he loves me for me, or for the financial stability I can provide…I realize that marriage is about the other person and being generous and willing to help one another…but at this age (late 40s) I can’t see myself long term with a man that says “I need benefits” (and I am talking about health/dental/vision/pension benefits) when pushing me towards marriage…so in other words, if I don’t have the intention of marrying him, he says that we’ll have to part ways…and I truly understand from a Catholic point of view that this should be our ultimate goal, but I guess I am a lax Catholic or too liberal to think that at our age, this shouldn’t really be a huge issue (like I said, I love my faith but marriage to me is not a top priority as it should be I guess)…

So…based on his most recent “benefits” comment, I am pretty sure that I am going to say to him sorry, but I can’t give him what he needs (marriage) right now and if he chooses to leave, then that’s what will have to be…he did get another new job in December (lost the one he got in September because of stupid choices he made) and is making way better money, but still seems to be in debt month after month and I don’t understand it and neither does he…he’s now driving long haul (Canada to US and back) and is gone during the week but home most weekends…when he’s gone, it’s easy for me to say I don’t want to be with him anymore, but the minute we’re together, I lose all my resolve…so while this isn’t the perfect time (is there ever a perfect time?) I think I am going to stick to my guns and go with it…please send your prayers and give me strength…thanks!
 
Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom in your time of need.
 
St. Joseph, please guide this poster and help her resolve in dating matters. Help her find a good husband, if she is called to marriage. Amen.
 
schoolteacher68 said:
I truly understand from a Catholic point of view that this should be our ultimate goal, but I guess I am a lax Catholic or too liberal to think that at our age, this shouldn’t really be a huge issue (like I said, I love my faith but marriage to me is not a top priority as it should be I guess)…
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This part of your post really caught my eye. The Catholic ultimate goal isn’t marriage - far from it! The ultimate goal is to find the vocation God has for you - you specifically - to bring you closer to Him. Granted, for many people, that is marriage. However, by no means does it apply to everyone! The same goes for the “as it should be” part.
In this world, marriage (or at least dating and “having someone”) is far too overblown. It’s a lovely, fantastic, holy sacrament, yes, but so is being a Regnum Christi Consecrated woman, being a Sister, being a nun, and, yes, being single. Don’t allow the world to trick you into marriage as a “top priority”. 🙂 I highly, HIGHLY suggest Sarah Swafford’s book Emotional Virtue.

Please don’t take offense if I seem a little too eager to help; as a teenager, I needed (and need) this message pretty often, and I really enjoy sharing it. I don’t mean to swamp you in stuff you may already know, and advice you don’t need! I’ll definitely be keeping you and this guy in my prayers. God’s will be done. 🙂

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the Fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
Sounds you’re on the right track.
May the Lord send you a gentleman who is a good match for you.
Prayers coming.
 
Dear Father,
shine your light upon me
so that I may see my true vocation.
Give me the grace to hear your word
and be an example to others
of your love for us.
I pray for all in the priesthood,
consecrated lives,
marriage and single life,
and for all who are listening to your call,
that they may answer you in their vocation.
Thank you for sending your son Jesus,
Lord of the Harvest,
help me to follow His example.
May I freely,
courageously and lovingly respond.

Amen.
 
schoolteacher68,
go with your heart; and remember there is only one more Sacred than your own...I will pray for your peace of mind and his understanding...
 
†

Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

Amen. †

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the Fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.

Amen. †

Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle,
be our defense against the wickedness and snares
of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray.
And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the
power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other
evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen. †

St. Thérèse of Liseux Prayer From “Story of A Soul”

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received,
and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones,
and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

Amen. †

Lord, thank you that you are with me right now.
Your love surpasses all fear.
I give you the anxiety I feel.
I surrender all my worries to you.
Clear my mind;
Calm my heart;
Still my Spirit;
Relax my being, that, I may
always glorify you in everything
I write, speak and do.

Amen. †

Jesus, Help Me

In every need let me come to Thee with humble trust, saying,
Jesus, help me!

In all my doubts, perplexities, and temptations,
Jesus, help me!

In hours of loneliness, weariness and trials,
Jesus, help me!

In the failure of my plans and hopes; in disappointments, troubles and sorrows,
Jesus, help me!

When my heart is cast down by failure, at seeing no good come from my efforts,
Jesus, help me!

When others fail me, and Thy grace alone can assist me,
Jesus, help me!

When I throw myself on Thy tender love as Father and Savior,
Jesus, help me!

When I feel impatient, and my cross irritates me,
Jesus, help me!

When sickness and loneliness overcome me,
Jesus, help me!

Always, in weakness, falls and shortcomings of every kind,
Jesus, help me and never forsake me.

Thank You, dear Lord Jesus.

Amen. †

Sweet Heart of Jesus, be my love.
Sweet Heart of my Jesus, grant that I may always love You more.
Heart of Jesus, burning with love for us, set our hearts on fire with love of You.
Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make our hearts like Your Heart.

Amen. †

Prayers said. All will be well. Do not fear, the Lord is protecting you.
Do not be lonely, your guardian angel is beside you.
Be comforted, Mother will watch over you, and the
Holy Spirit will guide you.

Amen. †

Prayer Against Depression
………….By St Ignatius of Loyola

O Christ Jesus
When all is darkness
And we feel our weakness and helplessness,
Give us the sense of Your Presence,
Your Love and Your Strength.
Help us to have perfect trust
In Your protecting love
And strengthening power,
So that nothing may frighten or worry us,
For, living close to You,
We shall see Your Hand,
Your Purpose, Your Will through all things.

Amen.

†

Let Nothing Disturb You

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.

Patience,
Obtains all things,
Whoever has God
Lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.

Santa Teresa de Jesús
(Santa Teresa de Ávila)

Thank You, dear Lord Jesus.

Amen.

†

:signofcross: :blessyou:
 
Praying for you…
+
*O most beautiful Flower of Mount Carmel, Fruitful Vine, Splendor of Heaven, who brought forth the Son of God still remaining a Virgin, assist us in this necessity. O Star of the Sea, help us, and show us that you are our Mother.

O Holy Mary, Mother of God, Queen of Heaven and earth, we humbly ask you from the depths of our heart to help us in this necessity. There are none who can withstand your power. O show us that you are our Mother.

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee. Sweet Mother, we place this cause in your hands. Amen*
 
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