Camping with a girlfriend

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Perhaps you should invite some other friends or maybe a sibling or relative close to your ages.

If she wants to go camping with you for the sake of camping, she shouldn’t have a problem with it.

If she’s intending something “naughty” to happen, then she might be rather annoyed.

But as others have said, be cautious.
 
You’re saying she wouldn’t ask you to do something you’re not OK with, but she already did when she asked you for a sleep over, about which you’re unsettled. Just do the bike thing and leave it at that. The rest is scandalous & even w/ 2 tents I’m not buying it. Others may conclude you only talk the talk. You’re being tempted. One of you needs to put your foot down and it sounds like that’s you.
 
Rascalking said:
If you trust yourself and her, knock yourself out.
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I’m voting for this one as the best answer. It may well be the safest way to get through the night with your virtue intact – knock yourself out!

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A good rule that my parents gave me when I was dating my now wife is the following:

If your future wife would be comfortable with you going and sleeping in the same arrangements that you are proposing to do now with another woman, then go ahead. If you feel that it is not appropriate, than maybe you need to rethink things, invite some more friends and have seperate tents if not areas.
 
Thanks again for all your help. I’ve been thinking some more about your comments and I’m still a bit confused.
rpp said:
it is not unreasonable, in this day and age, to anticipate that some or many would assume the worst.
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I agree with this (although it’s a sad state of affairs) and I can see that, as many of you point out, there’s probably scandal involved with a camping trip but if we follow this reasoning haven’t we already caused scandal simply by dating? Because, although most of my friends know we’re “no sex before marriage” there are some who don’t and also every time we meet someone new they’re going to assume that we have sex. Also what about times when we’re alone together in one of our homes… won’t people be assuming the worst then? I know camping seems worse because we’re spending the night in the same area but where’s the cut off point? If we’re going to allow dating and spending time alone together (because it would be absurd not to) - even though it’s causing scandal for many who will assume we’re having sex - why is camping banned for the exact same reason?

I know some of you have said I should just follow my concience and I’m sorry if it seems like I’m going into unnecessary details, but if I don’t ask these questions, my girlfriend will when I say NO 😉 Also I know that my concience may be misinformed, sometimes people worry about things that are actually fine.

Finally just to clear one thing up, it was actually me who first suggested camping to my gf, sorry for my first post which was a bit misleading and written in a hurry (sounds like my girlfriend is trying to lure me unwillingly into a tent with her, :eek:)
 
The overnight situation makes you uneasy, red flag
You’re confused, red flag
The idea of it is alluring to you, almost irresistable, you keep rationalizing it - you really want to do it even though it goes against your better judgement, red flag.

You can keep wrestling the beast and waiting for enough support to neutralize your conscience.

I encourage you to go this way brother: Visit our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, asking for guidance/ Beef up your prayer life/ Check out the Catholic Catechism on scandal and occasions of sin.

Forget what people “assume” or “think”. It’s not about you and them. It’s about you and your God. Do the right thing. Let her know you’re heading back after the ride and plan your next outing, something to focus on beyond your present confusion. I would think she’d appreciate your backbone and resolve. No one respects a push over.
 
Cable said:
The overnight situation makes you uneasy, red flag
You’re confused, red flag
The idea of it is alluring to you, almost irresistable, you keep rationalizing it - you really want to do it even though it goes against your better judgement, red flag.

You can keep wrestling the beast and waiting for enough support to neutralize your conscience.

I encourage you to go this way brother: Visit our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, asking for guidance/ Beef up your prayer life/ Check out the Catholic Catechism on scandal and occasions of sin.

Forget what people “assume” or “think”. It’s not about you and them. It’s about you and your God. Do the right thing. Let her know you’re heading back after the ride and plan your next outing, something to focus on beyond your present confusion. I would think she’d appreciate your backbone and resolve. No one respects a push over.
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I put in bold your most salient and critical point. Well said. 👍
 
Chips 123 - so you suggested camping - you dog you. Listen, about your confusion on scandal, see the Catechism & try to link you and your girlfriend to group get-togethers and meeting in public places where there are other people.
 
chips123 said:
Thanks again for all your help. I’ve been thinking some more about your comments and I’m still a bit confused.

I agree with this (although it’s a sad state of affairs) and I can see that, as many of you point out, there’s probably scandal involved with a camping trip but if we follow this reasoning haven’t we already caused scandal simply by dating? Because, although most of my friends know we’re “no sex before marriage” there are some who don’t and also every time we meet someone new they’re going to assume that we have sex. Also what about times when we’re alone together in one of our homes… won’t people be assuming the worst then? I know camping seems worse because we’re spending the night in the same area but where’s the cut off point? If we’re going to allow dating and spending time alone together (because it would be absurd not to) - even though it’s causing scandal for many who will assume we’re having sex - why is camping banned for the exact same reason?

I know some of you have said I should just follow my concience and I’m sorry if it seems like I’m going into unnecessary details, but if I don’t ask these questions, my girlfriend will when I say NO 😉 Also I know that my concience may be misinformed, sometimes people worry about things that are actually fine.

Finally just to clear one thing up, it was actually me who first suggested camping to my gf, sorry for my first post which was a bit misleading and written in a hurry (sounds like my girlfriend is trying to lure me unwillingly into a tent with her, :eek:)
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You make some good points about what others probably already assume. When we (my GF and I) were in grad school, I had a number of people that didn’t know us very well as me questions about our sex life. I would tell them there was none. These people did not know us well enough to know what we did at home or anything much else outside of school. On the other hand, our close friends knew that we took some trips together, were at each other’s places until late and so fourth, yet still knew that we were not “doing anything inappropriate”. This was evident based on some conversations that we had with them and comments that some of them made… so there is something to be said for the fact that people are going to assume things anyway. I think that on this issue, you have to know your peers and how it will be perceived by the people that know you. Ask yourself if it will change the way anyone views you.

Now on the original question, this is something that we have done a number of times. There is a national forest about 20 minutes from where we were going to grad school. We used to drive up on a fire road sometimes, find a place to pull off, and throw our sleeping bags in the bed of my truck and crash. We would set our alarms for just before sunrise and get up and watch it come up over the valley. If we got there before dark, our spot was on a ridge where if you faced one direction you could watch the sun set on the ocean and if you tuned the other direction you looked at a valley and could watch the sun rise. A fantastic spot. We probably have camped around 5 times and never had a problem. If we need to change, we either do it in the sleeping bags, or in the truck and take turn going on a short walk for a couple minutes while the other one changes. That has never been a problem either. We both have respect for each other and would not try to do anything that is not consistent with our values. Once again, only you know your situation. You have to know your limitations and what is best for both of you.
 
chips123 said:
My non-catholic girlfriend wants to go camping with me. Although something doesn’t feel quite right, I can’t see that there is any sin involved with this (so long as we are in different sleeping bags!). Am I missing something? It just seems ridiculous to take two tents or something like that… seeing as we would be on bikes!!
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If you do decide to do this, take two tents and camp in a crowded area.😃
 
Trust your gut instinct. If it doesn’t feel right then don’t do it. It sounds like you feel like you might be tempted, and if so avoid it all together. You could also make it a group activity and invite other friends.

My boyfriend and I went camping together this last summer, several times in fact. Each time we shared a tent, slept side by side, and in our own sleeping bags. We made it through just fine, no temptation. (I personally think he has more self control then I do.)

He was raised Catholic and I’m currently in RCIA. So I guess in a way I’m in the opposite role you are in. I would be lying if I said it didn’t cross my mind, but out of respect for him and his chastity I refrained from anything and everything.
 
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