Can a 9 year old altar server be refused holy communion

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Also, in a post closer to the beginning, the OP makes it clear that she identifies very strongly with Samuel’s mother in the OT. This could be a contributing factor.
 
Your problem is much bigger than altar serving and has nothing to do with your son.

Please, for the sake of your family, find a priest or counselor to help your family.
 
Yes he only serves when on one is ther and when he is on schedule. We arrive 15min early I wait until 5 min before the mass begins at the sacristy every time.
I’m not here to complain or vent but to get pointers or see if anything is a miss from my end.
 
So are you suggesting that our son is not sincere in his desire to serve when he is on schedule or if no one is available?
Also, seems like you are demanding that I support my husband unconditionally even if I believe that our son is being forced to sit against his will?
Sorry I dont want to force our son into submission in religious matters. God doesn’t do it to us neither will I.
 
By soft I mean if he is unable to convince his son then he shouldn’t go crying to the priest for leverage. He should not take his son’s choice to serve as a rejection of him. It’s not like our son is leaving Catholicism that he needs to escalate to the priest. I am checking with the priest and should know soon.

Thanks to all reapondants I got to learn a lot.
 
I am suggesting that you not make the Church and serving into a battle ground nor make serving into a power struggle with you VS your husband and the priest. It is not healthy.

Please, seek counseling, try a Retrouvaille weekend.
 
Jacque said:
By soft I mean if he is unable to convince his son
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No. Your son is 9 years old. He is subject to the decisions of his parents, not the other way around!

Please look into family counselling.
 
Jacque said:
By soft I mean if he is unable to convince his son then he shouldn’t go crying to the priest for leverage
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Your son should be obeying his father and you should be supporting this obedience.
Children can do this, get told no, then throw what aussies call tantrums…We do not allow our children to do everything according to their will. This can turn out very badly. Farm kids want to do some stupid things , for example, that might and probably will injure them , even fatally.

Children and men and women need to learn NO means NO

There is a commandment to honour your parents,

I can begin to imagine the frustration here. A wilfully disobedient child and a frustrated father and perhaps a mother who should reassess her primary duty to support her husband.

If your child is going to grow into an adult and into a religious life, this will happen regardless. In religious life obedience is crucial.

Your child may grow into a husband and father. either way boundaries are required in life. If not taught young, it becomes problematic later.
 
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Jacque said:
By soft I mean if he is unable to convince his son then he shouldn’t go crying to the priest for leverage.
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Your son is nine years old. He doesn’t get to make all the decisions. Your husband going to the Priest and asking for help in this matter is not “crying”.

You are making this into a huge issue. It will not harm your son to sit next to his father instead of serving, especially when he is not supposed to serve and has been asked not to by the Priest.

You and your husband need to be on the same page, I can’t emphasise it enough. Before long your son will learn how to play you off against each other and before long your son is going to realise that there will be a conflict between his parents every time you go to Mass. He is not going to be looking forward to Mass if he knows no matter what he does, one of his parents will be unhappy.

As the other posters have said, please get marriage counseling.
 
Jacque said:
the priest drawing back the Eucharistic minister and telling him not to offer him the cup all the while next to the microphone.
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Did he receive the Body of Christ? Only denied the Precious Blood?
 
I have read this entire thread and I have to say, there is a lot of talking in circles. The problem here, is the problem with declaring anyone the “head of a household” in any matter.

This is a simple problem. Mom wants son to serve as much as he wants to. Dad, for whatever reason doesn’t, and additionally, wants son in the pew with him during mass. Mom and Dad need to have a private discussion and agree to a compromise. Mom may want to encourage Dad to figure out why he wants to be the “director” of the situation. Mom may also want to figure out why she has tolerated this mess, and investigate some solid psychological resources in deciding what is appropriate when dealing with a 9 year old child.

Neither parent needs to approach the priest, other than to let him or whoever makes the serving schedule know the boundaries for scheduling son to serve.

Finally, Mom and Dad need to sit son down and explain the boundaries to him. Best to set a time frame and say something along the lines of “We will reassess the situation at the beginning of each school year” (Or whatever a reasonable amount of time is.

Problem solved.
 
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